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Thread: DirtyRed Attempts Legitimacy

  1. #201
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    Squatman 4: The Quest for Weight

    That was an absolute shitshow, and for once I'm not talking about my performance (though it was generally a grind because, as I discovered upon getting into my car after the workout, I had forgotten to drink my pre-workout, which is now sitting in my fridge for Wednesday). It was Labor Day, the most ironically name holiday in existence, so the gym closed at 1. So every dipshit that might have came throughout the day was crammed into the gym between 8 and 1 and holy shit, the human species was a mistake. I somehow walked right into a squat rack, and it was all downhill from there. Naturally every casual-fagging retard wants to get a quick hoist in and doesn't realize that when you actually lift weight, you might have to breathe for more than 90 seconds between sets. So fighting off people trying to touch my bar every time I went to the water fountain was the order of the day. I would GLADLY work in with these "people" if it wouldn't mean throwing 300 lbs on and off the bar. There were, in fact, so many imbeciles in the gym, including the WWF Huge clod doing 600+ pound rack pulls with what WAS the best bar for cleans and snatches before the fuckwad bent it, that it took some doing to find enough weight to put on my bar.

    Had to wait for a bench to open up, but not for long, and had to CONSTANTLY deal with people trying to horn in on it if I so much as walked five feet away to see how the Nadal match was going between sets. Though with bench it's a lot easier to let others work in, which is what DirtyRed, is his INFINITE magnanimity, did.

    Then when I was setting up for deadlifts, the shit I seen. I seen it, you should have seen the shit I seen. I seen it, and I can't unseen it. Some truly remarkable derplord in the rack next to the platform I was using was doing what I can only call Ballet Squats. His goddamn heels were touching, like a ballet dancer's might when they do that knee's-out-crouch thing, and he had them up on the bottom wheel of a vertically oriented dumbbell, AND he managed to squat 135 lbs to depth through all of that. I am certain that I would have hurt myself had I tried this. Bravo, random assclown who was naturally wearing a UK Basketball shirt, for proving Einstein right about human stupidity.

    Also, I didn't get the dips in due to lack of time. No one has been made to suffer like DirtyRed, this he knows.

    Volume Day 5.3
    Squats:
    5x5 480 lbs
    Bench (paused): 5x5 255 lbs
    Deadlifts: 5x3 430 lbs
    Curls: 4x10 80 lbs

  2. #202
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    Light day went smoothly. Light weights, easy lifts, mildly challenging close grip bench, probably not challenging enough, and there weren't even any particularly noteworthy displays of stupidity.

    It's shit like Light Day that really kills the entertainment value of this log.

    Light Day 5.3
    Squats:
    2x5 315 lbs
    Standing Press: 3x5 175 lbs
    Chin Ups: 3x8
    Close Grip Bench: 3x8 210 lbs

    PS: My feet didn't rock around on the ground to the point my toes or heels came up during the standing presses, partly because I am not a jagoff, but mostly because that wasn't a terribly heavy weight.
    Last edited by DirtyRed; 09-08-2017 at 03:48 AM.

  3. #203
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    How many laybacks tho

  4. #204
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    Quote Originally Posted by cgeorg View Post
    How many laybacks tho
    One generous one per rep. Though closer to max weights I, in fact, DO exhibit a double layback, which means that double layback is the best way to perform a The Press, because DirtyRed wouldn't do something wrong.

    I'm counting this as remembering the intensity day update because this is my log until I get banned for being a sandy little butthole in E&P. Squats were all done, but not terribly well. For some reason, the fourth felt SUPER solid, but the fifth was about as bad as it could have been and still actually been completed. Bench went well, deadlift went as expected.

    DotW is DEFINITELY the Ballerina from Monday. Strong candidate for DotY, really.

    Intensity Day 5.3
    Squats:
    5x1 575 lbs
    Bench (paused): 5x1 295 lbs
    Deadlifts: 3x1 535 lbs

  5. #205
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    God damn it. I derped out and forgot to update for Volume and Light day.

    Intensity day was postponed until tomorrow (though by now it IS tomorrow) because of work bullshit. I have The National Meet in a month (goal is to not DFL!) and it would be just jingles if at some point in the lead up to it I could get one fucking normal week of training in.

    Sadly, I don't recall any particular DotW type shenanigans. I like to think they're all planning to goddamn ambush me with that crap "tomorrow."

    Volume Day 5.4
    Squats:
    5x5 485 lbs
    Bench (paused): 5x5 260 lbs
    Deadlifts: 5x3 435 lbs
    Dips: 5x8 5 lbs added
    Curls: 4x8 85 lbs

    Light Day 5.4
    Squats:
    2x5 315 lbs
    Standing Press: 3x5 180 lbs
    Chin ups: 3x8
    Close Grip Bench: 3x8 215 lbs

  6. #206
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    Quote Originally Posted by DirtyRed View Post
    I have The National Meet in a month (goal is to not DFL!)
    Well, you can be sure you'll at least not have the lowest squat.

  7. #207
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sean Herbison View Post
    Well, you can be sure you'll at least not have the lowest squat.
    Bitch I squat DYEEEP.

    And I forgot to update for Intensity Day. AND I only got half of Volume Day done because of asinine work bullshit. The other half will be done tomorrow, because that's TOTALLY how successful powerlifters and handsome men, like DirtyRed, normally train. This will have me doing curls and dips the day before I do chin ups and close grip bench, but fuck it.

    There really wasn't much dipshittery last week, and they felt they needed to make up for it, apparently. Previous DotW winner, the WWF reject, was continuing on his quest to bend every barbell on earth doing 600 lbs rack pulls, and his bodybuilder buddy could, at one point, be overheard saying he tries not avoid fats when cutting because he doesn't want to retain fat. Because dietary fat = body fat. Because this is still 1982, apparently.

    Intensity Day went really well. The fifth rep of squats was a little slow, but that's to be expected with ~96% of my previous max on the bar. Bench went well, and deadlifts went REALLY well.

    The first half of volume day went all right. Squats went as well as one could expect, and bench only got 4 sets worth of paused reps before having to Touch'n'Go. Which, I'm pretty sure, is better than I've previously done with that weight. If this coming ID goes well, I can reasonably expect SOME FUCKING BENCH IMPROVEMENT FOR THE FIRST TIME SINCE DECEMBER.

    It's also probably a good time to start losing a bit of weight, as I need to be 10 lbs lighter by weigh ins. So if I seem unusually cranky, it's because I haven't had the beer and bacon grease necessary to steady my nerves after a full day of dealing with the sort of devolved hominid that orders pizza.

    Intensity Day 5.4
    Squats:
    5x1 580 lbs
    Bench (paused): 5x1 300 lbs
    Deadlifts: 3x1 540 lbs

    Volume Day 5.5a
    Squats:
    5x5 490 lbs
    Bench: 4x5 paused 1x5 Touch'n'Go 265 lbs

  8. #208
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    Quote Originally Posted by DirtyRed View Post
    It's also probably a good time to start losing a bit of weight, as I need to be 10 lbs lighter by weigh ins.
    Are you competing at 231?

  9. #209
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sean Herbison View Post
    Are you competing at 231?
    Yes. I weighed in a pound lighter today than I did on Monday. Surely that's actual weight loss and not just because I took a dump before heading to the gym. Surely. I also celebrated with pie. I think this mini-cut is going to go well.

    Part B went as well as expected. Lower back took some loosening up to START with deadlifts the day after all those volume squats, and all the ARMZ stuff might hinder me tomorrow (note: once again it's Tomorrow as I type this), ESPECIALLY on chin ups, which I suck ass at to begin with.

    But these people, holy shit. There was a guy wearing a weighted vest while he did what could charitably be called squats. He then did some standing presses with the weighted vest on, and I was stymied trying to figure out which of the two was more asinine. There was ANOTHER guy doing Upright Rows 3.0. Or a Pull Row, or whatever the fuck the exact opposite of a push press would be called. He got the barbell traveling upwards exclusively with knee and hip extension before letting it float up to his chin.

    This wasn't a "clean pull" or whatever Oly spazzes will do either. He had that classic Too Close Together upright row grip that brought his thumbs to his chin with his elbows pointed straight out. All with 65 lbs.

    Volume Day 5.5b
    Deadlifts:
    5x3 440 lbs
    Dips: 5x8 10 lbs added
    Curls: 4x10 85 lbs

  10. #210
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    How Crossfit-y was he? It could've been a sumo deadlift high pull, also known as the worst movement in all of "exercise"

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