Yes, quite. Money is a nicely quantifiable way to ascertain commitment, one of its principle advantages over talk.
Member
Hehe, oops?Originally Posted by Mark Rippetoe
You meant to say there needs to be a certain level of commitment before someone is willing to accept advice they asked for and a (large) sum of money fills the description of a commitment nicely, right?
TMPHBITEU
Yes, quite. Money is a nicely quantifiable way to ascertain commitment, one of its principle advantages over talk.
Member
"Put your money where your mouth is." Not literally, though; that would be absurd.
Member
Update? Update.
So far, my shoulder pain-afflicted friend has been through one (yes, one) workout inclusive of the standing press. Immediately after pressing, he messaged me online saying how he felt better than ever, how his shoulder felt great, and how excited he was for the future as he does intend to keep pressing. He mentioned something or other about "being able to feel his shoulder return to the socket", presumably in a way that wouldn't cause crying and snot pouring from the nostrils, and that he could raise his arm up in front of his body again. I returned his enthusiasm and asked him what he did, exactly. To my annoyance, he told me he did "something similar to 5s" which turned out to be sets of 8. He continued to disappoint by saying he's planning on doing sets of 8 for "endurance" for several weeks followed by sets of 5 for "progression" for several weeks, then another few weeks of "peaking" followed by "heavy doubles as a test". After repeating myself on how "nothing matters but getting stronger" (in terms of the physical changes this brings; especially in the short term) and on how experience has taught me to trust the SS method over many other people's highly personalised opinions, we agreed to disagree. He's going to keep pressing, but probably won't change his programming any time soon.
Now we're talking about his deadlift and I'm continually restating simple things like recovery (eat eat eat) and form (hips higher than that... higher than that), but he's the same old stubborn guy. In my limited experience (in the grand scheme of things) in dealing with proving people wrong and then having them admit to this and being receptive to new input, I can't help but find this attitude strange. If someone's right about one thing, why wouldn't you put your own biases on hold until you've reviewed the matter entirely? Being wrong means having made a mistake along the way; that should be reason enough to review, in my mind.
If you're reading this, Rip, any input would be appreciated. Is this just one of sad realities of life where "stubborn is as stubborn does"? Thanks.
TMPHBITEU
You want me to comment on your friend, or your choice of friends?
Member
Would it surprise you to know he's studying bio engineering? I sure wouldn't believe it, myself, if it wasn't true. Point taken, though.
Member
I have a step brother who's a civil engineer. When he hurt his foot dropping from a height of about 8 feet... not only did he rig up a modern marvel of crutches and chest rig carrier to tote his kiddo around downtown while visiting (God forbid I get to hold or carry my nephew), but he determined that at 182 and 5'10" the problem was clearly too much extra mass in his body from adipose tissue. He was too heavy, you see, when he hit the hardball on both feet in boots. The answer was obvious to him: reduce mass through fat loss. He's now been in the 160s for a couple of years. I think he looks like shit, and I find it infinitely fascinating that he doesn't grasp the irony that HE used to hold ME down and drip loogies on my face when we were kids. I sincerely wish that, as thirty-somethings, the opportunity would present itself for me to reciprocate with my 6' 230 lbs frame and well hydrated saliva glands.
Listen, Scaldrew... the point I'm trying to make with my rambling is you can change your friends but not your family... and "trust me, I'm an engineer..." is a warning universal to all engineering fields. If you're looking for solace, then all I can give you is "Fuck it... at least he's liftng."
Member
Thanks for sharing your story, David. I guess my frustration comes from wanting others to do better and proposing a solution they continually dismiss without due contemplation. It's also very annoying to have to hear the same thing and the same problem over and over again (especially when there are many obvious things they haven't tried yet), but I'm a part time bartender; I should know better than to interrupt others when they're venting. Thanks for helping to remind me of that.
What you say about family sadly sounds all too familiar. I've been trying to get my relatives to pick up heavy things and putting them back down again, but they seem completely uninterested in doing just that. I'd end my post with "how do I reach these kids?", but instead I'll try the new approach:"sucks to be them, I suppose".
Member
I get it. I really do. I'm pursuing coaching and getting working on getting certified in my free time, and I have been harping on my mother for months about it while mentioning it to the rest of my family. I want to help other vets out. I have offered free coaching and access to my garage gym to my friends. I posted on the forums and asked similar questions and got the same answer, but thought "there's no way people could turn this down."
I have since learned the lesson the hard way. I'm not taking on anymore freebies. I'm going to charge $50 bucks for my time, and when I get certified I'll probably charge double that per hour. I'll probably wind up with more "business" in the long run, but there's one thing I've changed that's more important than that: I stopped trying to shoulder the responsibility for my family's, friends' and the general population's separate-but-shared decision to forgo fixing themselves. If they're not willing, well... fuck 'em. If they haven't decide they're gonna do it, with or without my help, then they're not ready, anyway.
Dave
Member
Thanks, Dave. You've also given me a lot to think about.
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