That is very funny.Without thinking, I blurted out "Well, the indoctrination just didn't take"!
Amen to that.One of the signs of growing up is that you start choosing your battles a little better.
Hope your lifting goes better...and with no spider attacks or anything icky like that. (I have a cheapie standard bar, too. Hadn't used a "real" bar until the Cleveland seminar; it felt much better for pressing & cleaning, so I'll be saving up for that.)