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Thread: What happens when SSLP becomes more frustrating than good?

  1. #11
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    Get your blood/hormones tested. If you're that tired and depressed and can get angry hours after the gym you might have low T that is messing with your head.
    Eat twice as much as you're eating right now. Do you have two protein shakes a day? Fast food once in a while?

  2. #12
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    I'm in agreement with Leah that Sean's post is spot on, just eat more when you can, sleep more when you can, and adjust your expectations or your progress. Ripp always says that owning a gym is the worst thing that you can do for your training right? Well kids are right up there too! Just get in what you can and stay on it, you will get there. I have a 6 month old, my wife works night shifts as a nurse and I work close to 50hr a week myself. I am often called in to kid care at my gym to either soothe him or change a diaper, so even in the middle of my sessions I'm being interrupted so I understand what you're going through. I think it has a lot to do with how mentally tough you are, sure it could be biological like others have suggested, but it could also be mental. Adjust a few things and just enjoy the process and enjoy your life then best you can.

  3. #13
    Brodie Butland is offline Starting Strength Coach
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    A few thoughts as a new father and a very demanding job...

    Keep in mind that you are operating at a disadvantage. This means that you aren't going to progress as well as a 17-year-old high school student who gets free housing and meals. So as previous posters have eloquently said, focus on fixing the things that you can, understanding that things will necessarily be suboptimal for you. You may benefit from running a session every third day rather than doing the M/W/F approach, or changing to a two-day per week split, at least until things become more normalized. You may benefit from buying big bags of protein and drinking a lot of milk and protein shakes...especially if there isn't much time to do anything else. (I was taking down four a day in the first few weeks of our newborn...took a lot less time than cooking chicken.) You may benefit from taking a nap during the day. You may benefit from changing the time of day you do your sessions. There's a solution somewhere, you'll just have to figure out what it is.

    I'll give you an example from my perspective. I hate lifting in the mornings--always have, always will. I always feel groggier in the mornings than in the afternoon/evening and I don't have at least two solid meals in me when I arrive at the gym. For me, lifting in the morning is always suboptimal compared to lifting in the afternoon/evening...whereas I can squat and deadlift heavy and maybe even do a supplemental bench or press exercise on the weekend day, on weekday mornings I can only manage one heavy movement and a supplemental movement...two heavy movements are out of the question.

    The problem is, I can't lift in the afternoon/evening during the week because of my family and job situation. So I sacked up and started going in the morning at least one day a week, and preferably two. It's definitely suboptimal relative to the Platonic Form of Intermediate Training--but I'm already nearing all-time PRs because, even though it's suboptimal, I'm still getting to the gym at least twice a week and doing some solid work during that time.

    Don't let perfection be the enemy of the good. Figure out something that allows you to generally make long-term progress, and keep a positive outlook. This is a marathon, not a sprint. I started lifting with SS principles in 2011...I'll be squatting 400x4 tomorrow for my workset. I could look at my progress as being horrible...only a 240 lbs gain on the squat in over 5 years!? Or I could look at it as: I'm about to torch 400, motherfucker, and now that I've figured out a system that works, the all-time 415x4 PR is here in three weeks, with more to come.

  4. #14
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    Quote Originally Posted by Aaron Montgomery View Post
    Get blood work done to see if the depression is related to internal things, and not just external pressures. Low energy + depression could stem from a low testosterone count. If struggling to squat 170 makes you mad, do something about it, like eat more. 1-2lbs of weight gain/week would go a long way in helping your lifts.

    FWIW - I'm 6'1", 30, and weigh 194lb. I weighed ~130 till I was 25, and weighed ~172 January this year.
    I'd second that. Worth finding out from personal experience. 31 y/o, 2 kids under 6. Blood work revealed a lot about 18 months ago that I did t expect. Also eat more.

  5. #15
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    Everyone, thank you for the encouragement and advice. I especially appreciate the responses from those of you that are in the same situation. I think I fell into the Facebook trap where you look at everyone else's photos and automatically assume they all have perfect lives. The difference is that I had been on Facebook long enough before I quit it to become cynical enough to know better. I'm new to this forum and to this program, so I don't have anything other than what I see posted, so when I see post after post from a guy that's as green as I am squatting 275 and deadlifting 350, I don't have enough of a reference point to know any better, if any of that makes sense. You all have helped to provide one though, and I thank you for that.

    I also failed last night because I came home to bad news that took an hour to discuss and digest. By then I hadn't eaten in a few hours and it was almost dinner time. I angrily went down to lift with a clouded mind, not a lot of time left, and no fuel and ended up nearly hypoglycemic.
    Last edited by Proudestmonkeyt; 04-28-2017 at 10:26 AM.

  6. #16
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    Quote Originally Posted by Krypto View Post
    I can relate. 3 years ago I was 37 and my youngest 7 months old And I'm the same height

    In addition to eating more, try to prioritize sleep. No TV or reading or whatever you might be doing in the evening when you're tired after work and kids and everything. Sleep as much as possible. Kids interrupt and reduce sleep, but sleep is vital for optimal recovery and health.

    I completely agree. So you squat "only" 170. How much you think you'd squat if you didn't train at all? When your kids are older and you sleep better (and prioritize training after family and work over most other things), you'll probably progress faster. You're not in a race. Just do your work.
    It's funny, but my wife said the same thing. "You're pissed that you're having trouble with 170lbs?! How the hell much do you expect to lift, that's a lot!"

  7. #17
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    Quote Originally Posted by Aaron Montgomery View Post
    Get blood work done to see if the depression is related to internal things, and not just external pressures. Low energy + depression could stem from a low testosterone count. If struggling to squat 170 makes you mad, do something about it, like eat more. 1-2lbs of weight gain/week would go a long way in helping your lifts.

    FWIW - I'm 6'1", 30, and weigh 194lb. I weighed ~130 till I was 25, and weighed ~172 January this year.
    Quote Originally Posted by melody View Post
    Get your blood/hormones tested. If you're that tired and depressed and can get angry hours after the gym you might have low T that is messing with your head.
    Eat twice as much as you're eating right now. Do you have two protein shakes a day? Fast food once in a while?
    Thank you for the advice, but I've been saddled with depression since I was a kid, so I doubt It's testosterone related. And the bitch of it is that when it hits, apathy takes a hold and I don't care about eating or taking care of myself. Lol, it does make me want to sleep more though, so that's something.

  8. #18
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    Quote Originally Posted by Leah Lutz View Post
    Sean's whole post is good but this part is VERY good. This is something to remember whenever we take on something new.
    Quote Originally Posted by Sean Herbison View Post
    Your progress isn't matching your expectations, and this is frustrating you. So either adjust your progress or adjust your expectations.



    These are the things that will affect your progress. If you're concerned with gaining strength, you'll have to optimize the ones you can. There's not much you can do about having three kids (other than make it four kids, I suppose), and infants are generally not conducive to sleep, either in quality or quantity. But your ability to eat as much as you should rests on you. There are always ways to make it happen. I highly recommend sandwiches.

    It's not going to be a miracle cure, but it can sure help. No, you're not a skeleton at your height and weight, but it does indicate that you need to bump your weight up over time to recover and get stronger. Given where you are now, this should happen quickly at first.

    OR

    You can adjust your expectations. The world is not going to fall apart if you fail a couple reps because you only got 2 hours of sleep the night before thanks to your kids. But you're going to have to accept that. Beating yourself up over it makes it more, not less, likely that you'll be unable to manage the stress appropriately and get it next time.
    Coaches, thank you. Your advice and words are twice as valuable considering they didn't cost me a dime to hear. And Leah, thank you for being the example that I can use when I sell SSLP to my wife when she has the fear of turning into some kind of meathead.

  9. #19
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    What did you eat to gain 20lbs in 4mo's? Btw, I was 143lbs when I was 28 at 6'1. Eating too little has always been my problem.

  10. #20
    Brodie Butland is offline Starting Strength Coach
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    Quote Originally Posted by Proudestmonkeyt View Post
    What did you eat to gain 20lbs in 4mo's? Btw, I was 143lbs when I was 28 at 6'1. Eating too little has always been my problem.
    Speaking for myself, I put on 30 lbs in about three months--and that was before Starting Strength (it was a cookie cutter bodybuilding program, and I didn't know how to squat or deadlift for shit). My secret was multiple chipotles a week, putting four slices of cheese on my daily vegetable stir fry, and drinking half a gallon of milk each day. It helped that I was 5'11" at 130 lbs--body was begging for food.

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