Thanks Ry.
Or my hair wrapped around my arm. As one does.
Everyone I spoke to who had hernia repairs - 6 or 7 people, as I recall - all told me how easy it was, no big deal, back on your feet in a day or two even if no lifting for a few weeks. Then a steady ramp-up.
Well, apparently shit's quite different when you a) get three repaired at once and b) they're all open, not laparoscopic. This was significantly, muchos, yuuuugely worse than I imagined. All things considered, probably harder than my shoulder surgery last year, which is generally considered a much bigger deal (complete circumferential labrum repair with 7 anchors + acromioplasty).
Had I known, I still would have done it, I just would have been more mentally prepared.
One of my best friends is a surgeon, and tells me that what I have is normal for a triple open repair, so I'm not worried. I just wasn't mentally prepared for it, didn't plan to need 2 weeks off work (and the financial implications for someone who doesn't draw a salary), and don't think I'll be PRing anything 12 weeks out. But I'd be very glad to be wrong on that last point.