Today:
Only had 50 minutes to warm up, lift, and leave in 90+ degree heat, but at least a dry one. CF gym so the whole place smelled like fetid asshole.
Snatch:
20kg x3
40x3
50x3x2
60x2
70x2
80x2
85x2
92x1
Rushed the 2nd attempt at 92 and missed it badly, and it was time to GTFO.
At this point, my only reason for training is so that I can keep on shitposting here.
Saw Bryan Adams last night. Balmy sunny evening on the Baltimore waterfront and Mr. Adams was Mr. Adams, so altogether even an asshole like me can't complain. For anyone who might have been there, Lyudmila was the belligerent fucker with the clingy shirt and big red hair that got poofier and frizzier as the humidity dragged on. "It's so 80s! You love it." If that doesn't ring a bell, she was also the one who got shitfaced on two Coronas and tried to grope a bouncer when he told her to quit blocking some stairs; on our way back to our seats she yelled at an old lady who was glaring at her. Me? I was the retard grabbing at her wrists and trying to keep us both out of jail while bracing myself against her later backlash, which came as expected. "Whose side are you on?! Did you try to shush me? People like you are why women have to keep on fighting!" Well okay then.
After she sobered up she had to take a giant leak but was too afraid of the port-o-john so we started powerwalking all over the neighborhood looking for any restaurant that was still open. "Yelp! Yelp now! My phone is dead. Yelp for me. Do it! Wait why aren't you doing it? Oh my god, can you not multitask? Serious question. You can't walk and use your phone at the same time?" Fortunately, I twisted my ankle on a tree root while squinting at Google Maps, Yelp, and OpenTable, none of which were cooperating, and that seemed to snap her out of it. She was finally saved by, as luck would have it, Dick's Last Resort (Have you guys ever gone here? It's fun.), where I warned the staff not to make fun of her unless they wanted to be stabbed in the eye.
CG also sent me a text around this time: "So are you guys going to bang later?"
"Well she's pretty sloppy right now, so...."
"Huh. Again????"
"Not as bad as last time."
"Oh okay, so you're banging later?"
"I will try. Some assholes on the internet are waiting."
"Is this a porn thing?"
"Sort of. Never mind."
As expected we totally did not bang. I did however inadvertently agree to be her +1 to her friend's wedding next month and then again to some retreat thing with her very Russian orthodox church. She also forced me into a bunch of selfies with her and then posted to IG every picture except the ones with me in the shot,..........so.........I'm supposed to pull the trigger right after biting down on the cyanide pill, right? Or do I just position the capsule in my teeth, then fire, and let the spasm take care of the rest? Maybe I'll just headbutt that landmine.