Stuffed Superdud: Bumpy road to respectable lifting Stuffed Superdud: Bumpy road to respectable lifting - Page 179

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Thread: Stuffed Superdud: Bumpy road to respectable lifting

  1. #1781
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    Funny story: I forgot to tell my roommate that I was back in town yesterday, so she put on the deadbolt and went to bed, at like 8:30PM. I called, texted, and called out her name repeatedly, until the neighbors started taking notice, to no avail. Girl was out cold. So I did what I thought was a genius idea: I went outside, climbed the fucking fire escape, and shimmied over to her window. (My window was actually left open, but it's around the corner of the building). Leaned over to rap on her window and there she was on top of her sheets, naked as the day God made her and/or the last time a Tinder dude was over, which was probably like Tuesday. I damn near killed myself lunging backwards and away from her window. Did see though that she was holding her phone, so from my perch I dialed again. I could see the her room flash a little bit in response to my call, but again, no dice. Finally I figured fuck it, took my phone, shone the light onto my face so that she wouldn't just see a scary shadow, leaned over, and banged on her window with my foot. Took a few tries, but then she sat up, looked over, and jerked back screaming. I was whispering, "shhh! shhh! it's just me!" but probably all she saw was what looked like someone shining a flashlight all over her body. After what felt like forever, she came to her senses, covered herself up, and then motioned to the door. I climbed back down to the ground, went back in, went back to the door, took several deep breaths, and went "Psssst.....Brooke, you in there? I'm a the door...."

    The door swung in and she loomed in the opening, now dressed in a Silent Hill tanktop and her undies. "Dude! What the fuck! You scared the shit out of me! What the fuck were you doing out there, staring at me?"
    "Ahhh....you had the deadbolt closed...I couldn't get in...""
    "Yea because I didn't know you were coming back today. You could have texted me. You're lucky I didn't call the cops! Or maybe I still should!"
    "I did...and I called and yelled."
    "Oh.....Well, you really should have texted me beforehand..."
    We both started walking back into the living room when she went, "Hey....did you try the intercom?"
    "The interc- OH SHIT."
    "What do you mean oh shit? Oh no way. You mean instead of buzzing, you went straight to violating my privacy?"
    "Well....you did have your bedroom door open, so it wasn't that private, right?"
    "Oh my God, because nobody was supposed to be here. The AC doesn't work very well so I need the cool air from the living room."
    "Oh....."
    "Yea oh. Fuck. I'm going back to bed. Why are you just standing there?"
    *incoming autistic moment*
    "Your....pants... ahem your panties. Uh...under-p-pants. You're underpants...they're see-through. All of your, uh, stuff is...I-I- I can see all of your stuff still." (sartorial thread moment: ever see lingerie bottoms with leopard print? Yahtzee.)
    "Huh? Oh! Oh dammit...oh my God you know what? I didn't even care anymore. It's not like you didn't already get a good look, right? How long were you out there anyway. Actually don't tell me. Fuck it. I'm too startled to deal with this right now. Fuck you don't talk to me right now."
    yeeeeeesh........

    Fortunately today she was pacified with brunch and a few beers so we're Gucci because if there's one thing I do well, it's calming women down. You know, after pissing them off in the first place.

    Today:
    Power snatch + snatch 2+2
    20kg x billions
    40x1x2
    50x1
    60x1
    65x1x2
    70x1

  2. #1782
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    I forgot I also did:

    Snatch press:
    20kg x 10
    40x5x2
    50x5
    60x5
    70x5x3

    Snatch push press:
    80x3x2

  3. #1783
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    Hey look, I lifted.

    Hang clean:
    20kg x a bunch (elbow mobility continues to improve)
    40x4
    60x4
    80x4
    90x4x2

    Press (cleaned):
    60x5
    70x5x3

    Then I had to run off to clean my apartment because Brooke said so. She might not literally have me by the balls but she did make me shave them (no joke), so......

  4. #1784
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    Front squat:
    20kg x many
    60x5
    80x5
    100x52
    110x4x2

    Missed the 5th rep on both 110's....what a fucking pussy. The bottleneck is actually not the legs but the upper back: as it gets heavy, I start caving forward, which, coupled with my less than ideal front rack, causes me to dump the bar on the right side.

    Triceps MOB: the overly erotic Indian kid at the gym saw, walked over, and started rubbing my triceps without prompting, Buster Bluth style. It's the most action I've gotten since The Smushing, so I went with it. He immediately came across some knots that I had not noticed before, deep inside the muscle belly, and was like "lol it probably hurts right here, huh?" This kid is a 3rd year undergrad in computer science or something like that at MIT, and not a healthcare professional, but he's a regular Brent Kim in how often he has to go see a PT, dry needles, and saunas, plus he stays up nights masturbating to CalStrength MobilityWOD videos from 2012, so I left him have his way with me. He was actually about to head out but ended up getting super into working me, and we ended up doing a gamut of movements that lo and behold yielded me about another 10 degrees of flexion. Effect is temporary of course and tomorrow I will have to do it again, but it's a start.

    Heading to Ann Arbor tomorrow for the week. Let me know if anything is good there.

  5. #1785
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    Glad you're getting some action. Shaved balls are... well, it becomes a maintenance issue.

    Yeah, front squats are hard.

    The only thing I know about Ann Arbor is that a lot of professionals I'm acquainted with tend to vacation there.

  6. #1786
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    Ann Arbor is cute but I wouldn't want to live here.

    Hotel gym nonsense:
    DB bench
    50lbs (each side) x 10x3
    DB hang clean + thruster
    20lb (each side) x 50 reps total

    Rotator cuff circuit: 10lb DBs

    Mobility nonsense.

    Ann Arbor's cool but I wouldn't want to live here.

    My roommate is convinced that the neighbor is trying to rape her in the trees out back behind the apartment building("plus I think he's a drug dealer who abuses cats"), so can she please trade parking spots with me? Her's is outside under a nasty tree, mine's in the garage. So....I don't want to trade as a matter of practicality, and I am kind of sick of being pushed around by yet another person playing the girl card, but on the other hand, I'm mostly anti-rape, so.............decisions.

    ^This is what happens when you don't pay attention in high school, drop out of college a few weeks in, spend your twenties in a semi-employed state watching Kim K and her whore mom do their thing, and let your brain underdevelop into a fatty gray blob that runs entirely on emotion and poor risk-assessment.

    The balls....ugh. She actually insisted on seeing my junk to confirm that it was up to her bathroom hygiene code, and felt entitled to it since I accidentally saw her naked last week.

    "Are you serious?"
    "Yea. With all the pubes I was finding in the bathroom, I feel like I can't live in my own home."
    "Okay so..."
    "So I need to know that you are doing your share to keep the bathroom clean."
    "This is weird..."
    "I know, but what choice do I have?"

    I don't like conflict so I awkwardly stood in front of the couch and dropped trou. She went, "Oh okay. Wait, what were you doing before??" and went back to writing her blog. Pretty sure this is not a normal roommate interaction.

  7. #1787
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    omg, do NOT give up your parking space. Get her one of those key-fob weapons, like a Kubaton, and call it good.

    I hope you at least got to chub up a bit before you dropped trou. Speaking as a grower myself, I know this is important.

  8. #1788
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    Sorry Erok. I switched spots with her because I am weak. She did agree to let me have it back in 6 months when the days are longer, and I'm sure she'll follow through then. She also didn't clean the place once while I was out of town, but was careful to remind me on Saturday that it was my day to tidy up, so...... Today her cat shit all over the floor and when I told her about it she said, "Oh whoops I'll take care of it".... and then left it there and went to bed. Meanwhile, God forbid a loose pube should end up on the bathroom floor.

    Times like this I am glad I grew up with as difficult a mother as I did, because this might slightly annoy the average person. My boss calls it good wife training, but WTF does he know? His wife is awesome.

    Power snatch:
    20kg x many
    40x4x2
    50x3
    60x3
    70x2x2
    75x2x2
    80x2

    Snatch pull:
    70kg x 10
    110x10
    130x7

    Back was tight and my elbow was irritated as all fuark from the snatches so I quit here.

  9. #1789
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    Oh, man. I really want to be able to step up and offer useful advice, but all I can think of are passive-aggressive, Winston Bishop-style pranks.

  10. #1790
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    starting strength coach development program
    It's fine. I'm a people person!

    Training:
    Elbow was hot all day, so I hit it with 800mg of ibuprofen and a pile of Icy Hot, which seemed to at least temporarily correct it. I then did:

    Clean + jerk 1+2
    20kg x a bunch, until Yasha accused me of dancing instead of lifting
    40x1x2
    60x1
    80x1
    90x1x4
    Gotta work on that lockout.....

    A buddy from my grad school cohort is getting married next month in LA and CG is to be my +1, naturally. Open bar, so of course she promises to get as wasted at this one as she did at the last one, so that should be good times. The short story from the last one (I don't remember if I logged it back in summer 2015) is that the shindig ended with me pulling up to a gas station, my suit covered in wine she spilled all over me, while she walked barefoot into the bathroom, $1200 heels in hand, to puke her brains out. I was about three Slim Jims in before I realized what was happening. Later I had to pull over to let her puke out the passenger side door. A LAPD cop pulled up, made sure I was okay, and then we laughed at her for a few minutes while she went, "Oy vey how did my life come to this? I could have married a rich guy when I was 17. Or his brother when I was 22. But now I''m here in some asshole's car spewing cucumber salad all over the street..." Good times.

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