Stuffed Superdud: Bumpy road to respectable lifting

[stuffedsuperdud]

Thanks. I really wish I didn't tweak the shoulder though. It's back to about 90% now but coach still has me on a leash. D'oh.

My regress-rapidly plan is in motion.......

So here's what happened:
Last Thursday I missed training because I was dead on the 395.

On Friday, my team and I had a really uncomfortable meeting with my boss and my coworkers and decided we all needed to get drunk. We were several beers in and in love with South Korea's Glasses Sister Kim Eunjung when my phone went off and no joke said I had an appointment with Burgan at Enzo. Fortunately I went in there with a sweet sweet buzz and ordered a red blazer because why should all your clothes be blue or gray? This isn't Bull Run, after all. I then went back to my desk and fell asleep until my roommate woke me up at 8PM to go drink. He proceeded to get very sloppy with wasted tourists Siobhan and Niamh, mostly by mispronouncing their names Cyoban and Liamneeson [one word]. That only seemed to make them want him more because the world is upside down and bass ackwards, and Siobhan busied herself licking his face like a cat while Niamh stood there and then burst into tears about how Siobhan is always doing that to her. She stomped over and actually managed to push the much larger Siobhan off my roommate's lap, and all three of them ended up on the floor. "I know cooler heads should prevail, but am I the only one who wants to see this?" I was several car bombs in at this point, so WTF let's see what happens?

All three of them managed to stand up but were escorted outside before any blows. I had to close all their tabs, and I'm pretty sure Niamh isn't going to be venmo-ing me any time soon..... Outside, Niamh had her left hand all over this fool's balls and her mouth pressed up against his, stopping occasionally only to take a drag from the cigarette in her other hand. Every few seconds, he leaned over and took a puff himself. Now Siobhan was the one standing there sobbing, but stopped when she saw me.

"What the fuck is your friend's problem?"
"What do you mean?"
"He was making out with me and now he's all over her? I don't like when I don't get all the attention I deserve."
"Uh....okay yea iono."
"What do you mean you don't know? He's your friend."
"We really just live together. You should just call an uber back to your hotel."

My roomie heard this and pushed Niamh away. "Dude what are you doing? Stop cockblocking!"
"Huh?"
"You're totally cockblocking. You're that guy. Yes. THAT guy. You're THAT guy."
"I don't know how this happened. But you were supposed to fuck that first girl and now you are confusing her with the second one."
"Dude I don't care okay? I don't care. I am going to get my dick. Sucked. Tonight. I don't care who okay? Stop cockblocking with this 'I don't know him' thing. Stop playing dumb."

Niamh came back to report that she had called an uber, which appeared a minute later, and both of them left. The two of us headed home, him berating me the whole time. We arrived to find the other housemates all grinding through a bottle of Maker's Mark. Not really my drink of choice but whatcha gonna do? Come 4AM we were all shitfaced, when "gotta get my dick sucked" over here received a text from Siobhan. "U coming over or what?" Dude sprang back to life and next thing we knew was in the kitchen putting baking soda all over his balls. A minute later he was running out the door and into an Uber. I did not see him again until Wednesday. I hate this world.


Needless to say, this gave me a massive headache and crippled me for the weekend.

On Monday I had to work late, on Tuesday I had way too much to drink once again, and on Wednesday, I was hung over all day, including during a 2-hour presentation to my division, including the division chief and her deputy. Nailed it because functional alcoholism is what we're all about in science. Well, by nailed it I mean it was great but then I hid under my lab bench and slept for a few hours later.


That's the very long story of why I did not train until today, and felt like shit the whole time:

Clean + power jerk + split jerk 1+3+2
20kg x many
40x1x2
60x1
80x1x4

Felt like crap and shoulder still hurts a little bit because pussy's gonna pussy.

[Bliss]

So.....many....questions...
I was reading this and thinking to myself literally, "What the fuck am I reading!"
This log is just great!

Outside, Niamh had her left hand all over this fool's balls and her mouth pressed up against his, stopping occasionally only to take a drag from the cigarette in her other hand. Every few seconds, he leaned over and took a puff himself.


Come 4AM we were all shitfaced, when "gotta get my dick sucked" over here received a text from Siobhan. "U coming over or what?" Dude sprang back to life and next thing we knew was in the kitchen putting baking soda all over his balls. A minute later he was running out the door and into an Uber.

Should we all be putting baking soda on the balls prior to a booty call??? Is this like putting chalk on your hands for those in the know?

[Erok]

Good to know I can drink vicariously through you, dud. Last night of drinking I had was two shots tequila before I stuffed myself with fried fish and half a beer. Woke up regretful.

Irish girls can be crazy fun.

Baking soda. gaddamn. Laughing. oh, my. Guess I'll have to try it.

[stuffedsuperdud]

Squats:
20kgx a few
60x8
100x5
130x5
140x5
150x5
160x5x2

I have some interesting news but I'm too tired to write it all out right now. It involves a nervous awkward situation at a Persian restaurant though because of course that's how shit works out.

[stuffedsuperdud]

Touched a barbell for the first time in way too long. Lifted with Yasha Kahn today, which was fun and negated the pain of getting back into the swing of things after a layoff.

Hang snatch:
20kg x many many many because the bar felt fucking heavy.
40x4x6

Yasha immediately noticed what everyone else notices, that I let the bar crash onto me and then catch it by nature of my shoulders hyperextending. His cue was to really focus on catching the bar with my traps, which immediately felt more stable. The nagging shoulder bothered me a little bit initially but went away after warmups.

Pause squats:
60x10
100x10
120x5x2

Crickets

[stuffedsuperdud]

Lifted at a hotel gym it's fine. Stronger than all the Eurotrash here but they still had sex so whatevs.

Squat:
20kg x a few
70kg x 10
110x8
140x5,5,6

All these weights are probably slightly underestimated, as the empty bar was non-standard and thicker than normal, but did not have the actual weight written down.

Press (LOL at how weak I am at this now)
20kg x 10x2
40x8x2
and bounced.

I am in Amsterdam and is probably your standard E&P warrior's worst nightmare.

[Erok]

Amsterdam! Woo-Hoo! Love that place. Go to a Rijsttafel with a group. A doobie is different from a joint. Order your shrooms based on the counterperson's recommendations. Don't make eye contact with certain people on the side streets, unless you really want to buy hard drugs. And if a guy named Manfred comes up to you and says he wants 5 euros to make sure you enjoy your time in the city, just give him the money. Otherwise, you'll see him again later that night, and he'll bother the shit out of you.

[Mugaaz]

That story from March 2nd was great. 10/10 would read again.

[stuffedsuperdud]

Quick drop-in to mention that I lifted a little bit at the hotel gym.

Squat:
20kg x 10
70x5
110x5
150x5x3

Still pretty sore from Monday but one can be a bit reckless with 215, I'd say. Two guys came over from behind and sort of snuck up on me after my 1st set. A redheaded dude in a soccer outfit and a North African looking guy who works at the hotel gym/spa. The readhead reached from behind me and started pinching my thigh. I looked over in surprise, and he started saying something in Dutch. I stared blankly and he goes, "Deutsch? Engels?"
"uh...Engels"
"Oh okay goot. Great. I was just saying to my sports-trainer, that guy has some hidden power in his legs!"

The trainer chimed in with, "Yaaah! Because it doesn't look like you can lift very much weight, but then you lift 150 kilos."

DYEL'ed by two guys benching sub 150lbs....fantastic.

Know who gave zero fucks?? The 5'11" smokeshow in the room who in conjunction with her spandex probably constituted a fire hazard. She did her RDL's with silver 8kg dumbbells and left.

Snatch press:
20kg x 10
40x8x3

Trying to get my left shoulder back in gear. I imagine whatever tissue damage there was has sort of resolved or at least stabilized, but now I have all the side issues from babying it all this time, e.g. everything around my scapula hurts and feels weak.


My co-workers at the Amsterdam office are a few sexy Dutch guys, a comically sexy Frenchman named Francois-Pierre, a sexy Austrian who has probably banged Janine Flock, a sexy Italian guy who knows every restaurant and brothel in town, and a Hungarian who is somehow sexy too, though, obviously, less so than the others, because he's probably related a little to Genghis Khan. Basically I feel like a little bitch half the time, and thoroughly bisexual the other half. Yes, the office is a giant sausagefest...or should I say Weinerfest.

[stuffedsuperdud]

Deadlift:
20kg x many
60x8
110x5
130x5
140x5
150x5

Still at the hotel gym, and I didn't want to be that Planet Fitness douche, so I went out of my way to lower the weights gingerly, like Michael Collins driving the lunar lander. Got it done, but probably with extra soreness for tomorrow.

Hotel staff came around at 10:30PM to shut down the fitness area and I and the few other guys in the gym trickled into the hallway. That was when I saw several large groups of sweaty European girls come out of the opposite door, leading from the spa. The spa is Dutch-style, that is, co-ed, and you are required to be naked. As a hotel guest I have full access to that thing too. But hey I didn't miss the chance to DL 75% for a set of 5....