DirtyRed Attempts Legitimacy

Today was Light Day, and the only thing of note was the asshattery displayed by everyone except DR and that one weird girl who actually squats to depth. As I was warming up for the standing presses, the King of Lanklets asked how many sets I had left, then asked if I cared if he worked in some squat sets. I didn't, as long as he didn't care that the hooks were set about half a foot lower than a guy his height would probably like, and he didn't. I guess to compensate for the fact that the bar started six inches too low, he was squatting six inches too high. He finished after a few sets, and I did the second work set of standing presses and went to the bathroom.

Now, I put my belt over the bar specifically so that some dipshit didn't think I was actually finished, just because I had walked away for two fucking minutes. I come back, and some middle aged, porky bitch is eighth squatting 65 lbs.

The patience I extend to these "people" in allowing them to live in my world is the stuff of legends, and they STILL don't appreciate it in the slightest. Humanity really was a mistake. Hopefully the day soon comes that the rest of these idiot primates have evolved to DirtyRed's extent so I don't have to deal with them anymore, and humanity can rest as an embarrassing footnote to the History of Me.

Also, I signed up for the USAPL Raw National meet, so that could be fun. Also, when looking up the name and date of the meet I was in for the qualifying total, I found out I set the Kentucky state USAPL record for a squat in the raw 105 kg category. Which says more about Kentucky than it does about DirtyRed.

Kentucky's shame will be everlasting.

Light Day 3.7
Squat: 2x5 315 lbs
Standing Press: 3x5 185 lbs
Chin Ups: 3x8

Quote:

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Originally Posted by DirtyRed

I found out I set the Kentucky state USAPL record for a squat in the raw 105 kg category.

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That's awesome. Now do bench.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Sean Herbison

That's awesome. Now do bench.

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Even if I wasn't totally asswater at bench, I think the KY record is something like 205 kg. Which is ten lbs of nope in a five pound bag. More on bench press in a minute.

I sort of kind of shut up remembered to log Intensity Day just now. You're welcome. Squats and deadlifts felt better than last week, with more weight, so that's awesome. Bench press was a complete tragedy. Somehow I got zero (0) reps with only 5 lbs more than I got all 5 with last week. This only reinforces my fact that bench press is a meme lift for wankers.

hashtag #MemeLift4Wankers

But at least that failed quickly and allowed me more time to do lifts that actually matter.

Dipshit of the Week naturally is won by the soccer mom twit that doesn't understand that all her barbells are belong to me.

Intensity Day 3.7
Squat: 5x1 575 lbs
lolBench: Browns (0 for everything)
Deadlift: 3x1 525 lbs

When you commandeered the barbells did you speak in the third person?

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Patrick Stroup

When you commandeered the barbells did you speak in the third person?

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I should start doing this. While wearing some stupid costume that would sell my lunacy and get people to fuck off.

Volume Day squats went real well. Everything felt rock solid and there was no knee ache. I stopped pausing bench press after two sets this time, and stopped entirely when a third set of touch'n'go required my ass to come off the bench to get the last rep. Next week, I'll try the whole thing again just touch'n'go. I really don't care enough to start screwing with my bench press "programming" in the middle of a program that is clearly making squat and deadlift gainzz. Once squats and deadlifts are on the verge of failing spectacularly, I'll back off a week, do a fake meet for some new maxes, and reassess bench press nonsense from there.

In the meantime, I'm going to try to get hashtag #MemeLift4Wankers trending in relation to bench press.

Also, I don't know what the opposite of "bow legged" is called (knock-kneed?), but there was some stooge doing straight legged deadlifts with 135 lbs, with a stance of about squat width for god knows what reason, and his knees were at a good 20 degree angle inward. I don't even know how he managed to do that.

Volume Day 3.8
Squats: 5x5 470 lbs
Bench press: 2x5 paused 1x"5" touch'n'go 270 lbs
Speed Deadlift: 3x3 350 lbs
Dips: 5x5 45 lbs

ETA: Next week is buttfucking Memorial Day, so the gym closes at goddamn 1 PM, which is going to make it a colossal pain in the ass to get a workout in, because all of the usual stupidity and squat-rack stupidity will be condensed into the five goddamn hours the gym is open, AND Volume Day takes three and a half hours as it is.

Light Day came and went. Didn't increase the Standing Press weight from last week because maybe that'll make me fresher for Intensity Day. Some idjit took a barbell, put two of the 45 lbs bumper plates on it, two more iron 45s, put a 25 lbs bumper in front of each side of the bar to keep it from rolling, wedged the back of his ankles under the bar, and used his knees as a fulcrum to slower lower his chest to the ground and come back up.

I thought this was just a wacky way to hog up a bunch of plates to do something that might be marginally productive, but, as I typed this, I recalled that the gym has a buttfucking Roman Chair (the best type of Roman Chair), and this guy is super-duper mega double retarded.

Light Day 3.8
Squats: 2x5 315 lbs
Standing Press: 3x5 185 lbs
Chin Ups: 3x8

Was it a Russian leg curl? I tried them for a while, but didn't see a real positive benefit that couldn't be achieved by pushing squats or deads harder. Plus they are not fun for knees.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by DirtyRed

Also, I signed up for the USAPL Raw National meet, so that could be fun. Also, when looking up the name and date of the meet I was in for the qualifying total, I found out I set the Kentucky state USAPL record for a squat in the raw 105 kg category. Which says more about Kentucky than it does about DirtyRed.

Kentucky's shame will be everlasting.

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There are two approaches to holding state records. Live in a state with low population or live in a state that is so awful that is it inhabited by human potatoes. I have achieved both and thus hold many state records in NM.

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Originally Posted by Bcharles123

There are two approaches to holding state records. Live in a state with low population or live in a state that is so awful that is it inhabited by human potatoes. I have achieved both and thus hold many state records in NM.

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Kentucky is in the middle with respect to population, so this is clearly the latter. The former record holder is a junior I beat by 30 kg.

EVERLASTING

This last intensity day (Friday the 26th) went well enough. I'm not sure what exactly happened during the third squat, I think I kind of lost tightness, weight got a bit forward, and I barely completed a rep that felt higher than the usual rep. I then recorded the next rep to make sure I was hitting depth, and crushed it so hard that recording it was pointless because I can't learn anything from my own perfection. The fifth rep was unfilmed, but felt about as good as the fourth, just, naturally, a little bit slower. Progress can still be made, I feel.

Deadlifts also went well, once I got the correct weight on the bar. Originally, my dumb ass forgot to put a 10 on one side, which led to me not getting the "first" rep as the weight slid towards my left hand and I lost my grip. Realizing, in my truly mighty powers of observation, that something wasn't right, I correct the problem, put a BALANCED 530 lbs on the bar, and got all 3 reps anyway because I don't give a fuck.

Progress will be even better if I GAIN SOME FUCKING WEIGHT. I'm weighing in at about 234 wearing shoes and clothes. Walking around AT WEIGHT isn't a great plan for maximum hoistings.

Also, Dipshit of the Week has to go to that one girl who was Golf Clap of the Week when I was abducted by ninja for two weeks and replaced with a pleasant individual, who has taken to coming to the gym with her boyfriend, who isn't DirtyRed. Dipshit of the Year candidate right there.

Oh, and fuck bench press.

Intensity Day 3.8
Squat: 5x1 580 lbs
Bench (paused): 310 lbs for one single
Deadlift: 3x1 530 lbs

My diligence in updating this log is just another example of why DirtyRed should never be in charge of children.

Didn't get the Dips in because the gym closed at 1 on Monday AND I might have totally stopped caring about bench press. I'll just have to total 1500 lbs without it. Fuck it and everyone who's better than me at it (which is most of humanity).

Squats went super well, really, considering I didn't sleep much and was just starting to feel sick, and was squatting nearly a quarter ton for 5x5. Speed deadlifts also felt a bit like SPEED deadlifts and not the "Continental Drift" deadlifts I was expecting at that point. I'm not going to start a taper and go to a max text for AT LEAST another week, longer if this sort of trend keeps up in lifts that matter.

Volume Day 3.9
Squats: 5x5 475 lbs
Bench (Touch'n'Go): 3x5 270 lbs
Speed Deadlifts: 3x3 355 lbs