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Well that certainly could have gone better. Hit exactly 0 PRs, failing a 610 lbs squat, tying LMAO3PLAET bench press, and losing my grip just before I could properly lock out a 555 lbs deadlift.
Naturally, I'm going to keep doing the exact same programming, only with heavier weights and MORE FOOD. I might weigh 250 lbs before this is over, and I'm goddamn sure going to make some freaking progress, in order to break my own completely irrelevant squat record in a shit state for wankers (hashtag #ShitState4Wankers).
Except new bench programming. It'll be some nonsense where I bench 3 times a week and a whole bunch, and do some AMRAP crap on Fridays which will either lead to great success or great shoulder surgery, not too concerned which, and there are curls because of course they are I got a program of the internet there was a 99% chance it was going to include curls.
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StopOriginally Posted by JC
True amrap is stupid.
A program with amrap bench is for people that don't actually want to program bench and figure out what works. It's like. I need to bench more volume. Fuck it. Amrap that's more volume right ?
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Hammer(curl) time.
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I'm counting this as a remembered update. And I should really know not to jump back onto Volume day two days after any sort of max testing. But I did, I didn't die, and I'm just going to go on my merry, slightly sore, and incredibly stiff way. Surely I'll be fresh by Friday. Surely.
I'm going to try Gilchrist's bench idea, with curls and stuff, because I can't really get any WORSE, and it's less likely to give me Shoulder AIDS than AMRAP schemes. Which means he wins the Get Out of Field of Honor Free card! Which he will, of course, need if this doesn't actually work.
I'm thinking the plan is two Texas Method runs of about 7 Volume Days before the national meet. It's either that or one absurdly long run, and this seems better.
Onto the gym, the first thing that greeted me Monday was the curvy girl who works the desk with the nice ass (the girl, not the desk), who is required to greet everyone. The second thing that greeted me some a 300 lbs lardwad squatting 155 lbs "crooked," for lack of a better descriptor, with his back to the rack. I sometimes fear for the future of your species, really.
The workout itself was kind of a grind, possibly just because I was a bit cheesed out from all the futility on Friday. Though despite very mild soreness around the shoulders that's to be expected from a bit of additional volume, I'm not really feeling beat up from it today. 5x8 dips and 4x10 curls with 70 lbs is a good starting point, and the dips probably won't increase next week. I might see how 75 lbs goes for curls. I MOSTLY took short rest in between the sets of the silly bullshit, but Austin Powers was on in that asinine cardio theater, AND it's the only room with a fucking fan for some reason, AND that Swedish Penis Pump gag goes forever and I couldn't just leave in the middle of it.
Volume Day 4.1
Squats: 5x5 465 lbs
Bench (Paused): 5x5 245 lbs
Speed Deadlifts: 3x3 335 lbs
Dips: 5x8
Barbell Curls: 4x10 70 lbs
Side Note: This takes so goddamn long Peter Jackson couldn't stand it.
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Tell me, DR, how long does that take?
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I was in the gym for about three and a half hours. Might have hit four if I showered there. Monday workouts are just going to get longer as the weight gets heavier and I end up taking ten minutes between sets.
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I really need to get a 3:16 folding chair...
And that really does happen after squat sets once the weight gets heavy enough. Bench sets aren't nearly as bad, but I probably don't want to be doing armz stuff when I'm trying to quickly recover for more bench.
Light day, which, to be clear, was on the 28th, is a bit less pointless now that I'm appending some bench press. Specifically close grip, because...
I don't really know why, it seemed like a good idea at the time. It WOULD have been done quickly, but before the last set of close grip bench, I ran into that boxer previously mentioned, and we proceeded to agree with each other that Conor is a complete jabroni for 10 minutes. So there was some waiting before that last set.
Light Day 4.1
Squats: 2x5 315 lbs
Standing Press: 165 lbs 3x5
Chin ups: 3x8
Close Grip Bench: 3x8 205 lbs
That was probably a good starting weight. Will go up 5 lbs next week and play it by ear with regards to recovering by Intensity Day.
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You know, I actually remembered to update for Intensity Day, but it was 11 PM on Sunday and I thought, "Fucket, I'll just lump it in with Volume Day."
Volume Day that took until Tuesday, because when I don't work I sleep until 3 PM and then goof off entirely too long and only get to the gym at 9 PM because I am a jabroni.
Intensity Day went just fine, and Dipshit of the Week (bringing it back!) has to go to that fool from the last Volume Day squatting 155 lbs high, crooked, and with his back to the rack. I picked some weights for Intensity Day that should end up with me getting an extra 5 lbs or so over the last cycle at the end of this cycle, so SURELY that would mean 1RM progress. Surely.
Volume Day got done, but squats felt heavy. Well, heavier than I expected 470 lbs 5x5 to feel. Also, I might have slightly pulled my right pec. It was aching at lock out during bench, and lightly in the hole of dips. Nothing that I didn't just rather easily work through, however. I'll try to rest it, and see how it feels on light day, but I think it'll be just fine by Intensity Day regardless.
I'm also up in weight a few pounds, from 236 lbs last Monday to 239 lbs this Monday, and I credit it to DirtyRed's Calorie Bomb Protein Shake(TM). Turns out, if you throw 2 cups of milk, a cup of Greek yogurt, a half cup of peanut butter, a scoop of protein powder, and about 4 Tbsp of NesQuik into a blender and mix it up, it's about 2100 calories of Reese's tasting puree. With enough protein (130+ grams if I remember right) to really give your farts the punch they need to get people to leave you the hell alone. As an aside, I'm no longer allowed to fart inside the pizza shop, or within 15 feet of the door to it.
Intensity Day 4.1 (June 30th)
Squats: 5x1 565 lbs
Bench (Paused): 5x1 285 lbs
Deadlift: 3x1 520 lbs
Volume Day 4.2
Squats: 5x5 470 lbs
Bench (Paused): 5x5 250 lbs
Speed Deadlifts: 3x3 340 lbs
Dips: 5x8
Curls: 4x10 75 lbs
PS: Any of you tell Mikey I'm using (TM) and I will give you such a suplexing.
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Well, the retard Olympic are clearly in full swing. Apparently Wednesday is Fatty McBacktotherack's squat day. But he was up against stiff competition in the form of the broest bro, using the broest belt you've ever seen, to bro-squat (read: quarter squat) LMAO4PLAYT, the quintessential bro weight.
For some reason, possibly all of the curls a future Field of Honor participant recommended I do, the inside of my left elbow was aching on standing press of all things. Mostly on the eccentric part, really. It wasn't nearly enough to actually alter the workout over, however.
Close grip bench went poorly, partly because some dude wanted to work in with 200 lbs, and in DirtyRed's infinite Charity, He allowed it. This resulted in DirtyRed witlessly putting an extra 5 lbs plate on ONE SIDE of the bar while swapping plates around, leading to a set of 215 lbs, and DirtyRed of the Unceasing Brain Injury to wonder throughout the set why the left side of the bar was going up so much easier than the right. Dipshit of the Week is really heating up, I tell you what.
I think I'll stick with 210 lbs for next week, if that turns out to be easier than this week's clusterfuck was, I might go up from there.
Light Day 4.2
Squats: 2x5 315 lbs
Standing Press: 3x5 170 lbs
Chin ups: 3x8
Close Grip Bench: 3x8 "210" lbs
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Fixed your typo.
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