I had to superglue a bit of velcro back onto my deadlift shoes that I had been squatting in, and I kept fucking forgetting to do so. I FINALLY remembered shortly before heading off the squat, and just did it anyway and used my heeled shoes to squat on Thursday. I might just go back to the heeled shoes. Their sole is so broad, rigid, and nigh impossible to walk to the water fountain in, that I feel absolutely stable and shit against the ground.
I also set up some box squats in the hopes it will help me stop squatting three inches too deep.
Thursday 3-21-2019
Squats: 515 lbs 1x1 Box Squats (Touch'n'Go): 455 lbs 3x2 425 lbs 3x4 Neutral Grip Rows: 185 lbs 5x10 DB Preacher Curls: 40 lbs 5 sets 2 minute rests, 50 total reps Jump Rope: 1:30 x3, was going to be more but my quad began to cramp
Saturday 3-23-2019
Chin Ups: 5 sets, 2-3 minute rests, 52 total reps Roman Chair Sit Ups: 5 lbs added, 4x10 Stationary Bike: 10 minutes, 145-155 HR.
03-29-2019, 05:08 AM
DirtyRed
Recently, there has been some new fuckwit in the gym. I normally wouldn't specify one particular fuckwit, but this fuckwit can be constantly seen doing ABSOLUTELY FUCKING EVERYTHING wrong. It's like some incarnation of human retardation decided they were going to get swole, 1/12 of a rep at a time. I've seen this knob "bench press" 95 lbs by basically retracting and they shoving forward his shoulders. I think the little dipshit just invented "bench shrugs" in that moment. He(? I genuinely don't know what gender the formless putz is supposed to be) could be seen doing the exact same shit on the chest press machine. Next time I turn around, "he" is "curling" 10 lbs with an elbow perpetually stuck at 90 degrees as the weight swings from his shoulder. Zero biceps activation in this biceps curl, fucking mind boggling. A smith machine was right next to the rack I was using one day, this idiot puts a plate on each side, steps in, just barely unlocks his knees, and still manages to raise his heels off the ground.
But what REALLY boiled the old noodle was seeing his sled pushing. He didn't half rep it, possibly because that might be impossible to do on a sled push. But he did manage to turn his toes INWARD every goddamn step and them somehow push with his foot severely pronated. I would think that was impossible if I hadn't see him somehow do it. I didn't know a human ankle could bend like that, much less transfer any force through it in that position without requiring surgery immediately afterwards.
Worst of all, he once showed up in a shirt with Broly on it, captioned "Training To Be Legendary." I am seriously racking my brain, trying to remember ever encountering such a complete and total waste of a fuck, and I can't do it. And I've worked in food service. This is what witless "positivity" and such bullshit gets you. The occasional critical thought, instance of "judgement," or, heaven forfend, "truth" will invariably prevent incompetence of quite this magnitude. Or at least foster the sort of self awareness that prevents wearing a shirt like that when you can't manage simple human movement without fucking it up.
If I was EVER this bad at ANYTHING as this fucking jackass is at EVERYTHING, I'd probably kill myself. I'm talking the whole 9 yards, a white robe, friend with a katana nearby, and a letter of apology on the desk.
Oh, I also got roped into a basketball game on Monday. ONE basketball game is no big deal, even if I shoot like a Michigan player.
Got roped into another basketball game on Wednesday. Then they wanted to run it back. After that, I was about to dip out as some others showed up to play, only to realize that would have left an odd number of people staying, so I played a third game. On what is basically a third of a basketball court wedged into the back of the gym, meaning exactly no straight line running and 100% side step shuffling and shit. My sad ankles can't handle that crap. I continue to shoot like a Michigan player.
Wednesday 3-27-2019
A wholly unacceptable amount of basketball Paused Bench: 300 lbs 5x1 Close Grip Bench: 185 lbs 4x10 Seated DB Press: 60 lbs 5x8 Pull ups: 5x8
I tried narrowing up my deadlift stance a bit, so that I might be able to grip the bar more narrowly without my knee getting in the way of my elbow. While it felt a little awkward at first, it definitely felt stronger right off the ground. Weirdly, I felt like my abs were exhausting before anything else on the higher rep sets.
Tuesday 4-2-2019
One Basketball Game
Deadlift: 515 lbs 1x1 Stiff Legged Deadlifts: 255 lbs 4x10 Back Extensions: 25 lbs added, 4x10 Curls: 80 lbs 5x10 trying to be all strict and shit Jump Rope: Just trying not to trip like a jackass intermittently for about 20 minutes.
I misloaded the bar when backing off from the heavy single to do box squats. I forgot a 25 lbs plate on one side. I have a degree in accounting. Thanks government education!
Saturday 4-6-2019
Chin ups: 5 sets, 2 minute rests, 53 total reps Roman Chair Sit Ups: 4x15 Glute/Ham Raises: 5x8 Stationary Bike: 15 minutes
I, AGAIN, misloaded the bar squatting. Left an entire plate off one side when going up for warm ups. I really should have a Snickers sponsorship.
DR: *Misloads bar and nearly kills everyone within 10 feet trying to unrack it*
Some Jagoff: Hey DR, eat a Snickers.
DR: Why?
SJ: You're kind of a complete retard when you're hungry
DR: *Munches Snickers* Better?
SJ: . . .Naw. The hunger must have been unrelated.
Saturday 4-13-2019
Basketball: One game Stationary Bike: 15 minutes
I might have to start a short recovery period after this week. Getting weary with the heavy singles. Also, the turbo dipshit previously mentioned was fucking up something I hadn't seen him fuck up before, in a way I had never see ANYONE fuck up before. The fool was half repping (duh) dips with his elbows moving DIRECTLY along the frontal plane. Like, if you did that Robot dance move where you hold your elbow out at shoulder height and dangle your hand below it, it looked a lot like that. Except his elbow didn't get anywhere near shoulder height, which is probably the only reason we didn't have to call the numbnut an ambulance.
I don't know if I mentioned, but he's always looking at his phone between instances of fucking everything he does up. It's not like he's hogging some equipment for a half hour while glued to his phone. I only mention because it's clear the little knob has the internet. There is absolutely no possible way he could be this completely ignorant of EVERYTHING gym. His entire act has to be a deliberate rib on me, I've decided. He was just an ordinary though incredibly skinnyfat guy who decided to be retarded on purpose just to mess with me. That's the only explanation.
Mr. All Fail was back at it. He was eighth squatting in the smith machine, with the bar up on his cervical vertebrae, hunched over like Quasimodo. Like, the bar was COMPLETELY in front of his shoulder. For a back "squat."
Thursday 4-18-2019
Squat: 525 lbs 1x1 Box Squat: 475 lbs 5x2 Paused Squat: 425 lbs 4x4 DB Row: 75 lbs 5x10 DB Preacher Curl: 45 lbs, 5 sets, 2 minute rests, 42 reps Heavy Bag: 50 jabs, 50 crosses, 50 left hooks, 50 right hooks, 30 1-2 combinations x3
I've seen people do the whole "squat with your hands on the plates as if you were splayed all over a couch" thing before. Tuesday was the first time I saw someone do it with less than 135 lbs.
Wednesday, I noticed a seam on the outside/lateral side, as opposed to medial side, of my right shoe had begun to come undone. Zion Williamson and I have one more thing in common (considering height, weight, shade, speed, agility, and strength, this brings the total to exactly one thing), Nike has failed us. I guess they'd rather make 90 second long carpetbagging ads about how WAMEN CAN DO STUFF TOO (but only against other women, it seems), than make a shoe that can withstand 12 months of mild use. I vaguely recall, in the 90s, women just did stuff and no one raised an eyebrow and Nike could make a shoe that would hold together for a fucking calendar year. I have Nike basketball shoes from literally a decade ago that are still holding together. I had Nike golf shoes that lasted through multiple seasons of constant wear and tear through rain and shine and on rare, miserable occasion, snow. But I guess Nike has completely shit the sheets in the past five years. If they think women are so goddamn competent, they need to get some into their sweatshops (SO WOKE) and teach them to sew a fucking shoe.
I also did some power cleans (in my Adidas shoes) for shits and giggles. It has been a while, and the 135 lbs warm up rep was probably the most awkward of the bunch. Once I did a couple of reps and bits of me stopping moving in every different direction, all out of order and shit, they went smoothly.
I don't know what you call it when, on bench press, you bring the bar down to your chest, press it ~halfway up, bring it back down to your chest, and then press it all the way up. Some time ago, a guy named Tyler recommended that to someone else in the gym, and I thought they'd be handy to try out. So I'm going to call them Tylers until someone corrects me.
I think I thunk a thought about the sled pushes on Saturday. I was just going to push the sled "down," not back, wait for a solid minute, and then push it back, and keep repeating that sort of cadence for a while. Partly because some guy who keeps studying for a CSCS was saying glycolytic training should be something between 1:12 and 1:20 ratio of "work" to "rest." Which honestly seems pretty fucking high, but pushing the sled in one direction probably took more than 5 second anyway, so I was coming in under 1:12 ratio. This also keeps the "work" short enough that I can manage a more steady pace for longer, rather than needing 5 minutes to recover from two down'n'backs or some such.
Also, someone clued me into a CBS Sports app that has rugby on it. Which would be a vast improvement over the collegiate Spikeball that E!SPN deems fit to air. I'ma have to look into whether or not my crummy data plan and even crummier phone can manage to run that.
Saturday 4-27-2019
Chin Ups: 5 sets, 2 minute rests, 54 total reps Sled Pushes: Push one way, rest a minute, repeat. 10 trips total. Stationary Bike: 10 minutes
Saturday 5-5-2019
Pull Ups: 5 sets, 2 minute rest, 51 total reps Sled Pushes: ~35 paces each way, 2 plaet on the sled, 1 minute rests, 10 "reps" Stationary Bike: 10 minutes
05-09-2019, 04:41 PM
DirtyRed
What is written here is what I intended to do. What my dumb ass actually did was load 310 lbs for the first bench press rep, wonder why the hell "300 lbs" moved so fucking slow, then realized the mistake JUST before doing another rep.
Operation Get My Hamstrings And Thereby My Deadlift Stronger Or Collapse My Entire Spine Trying commenced on Tuesday. I need to get better at thinking up operation names.
E!SPN will air a lot of tremendously stupid shit in the name of bending over backwards to avoid showing any level of actual athleticism, masculinity, or actual Sport on television, but I approve of this tomahawk throwing championship they were showing.