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Thread: DirtyRed Attempts Legitimacy

  1. #41
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    I hope it's just a strain. for sleep put a pillow along your good side and roll and rest your arm from the bad shoulder on the pillow for support. Don't move all night.this will keep the pressure off the AC joint and let it heal if it can.

  2. #42
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    Quote Originally Posted by DirtyRed View Post
    ...So I'm requesting all of your best Butter'n'Cheese based recipes for fattening up. Unless they're from Hanley. His will involve entirely too much fancy stuff like being able to use a stove without setting the building on fire, and will probably taste like heaven wrapped in J-Law's tits. I want something a caveman could make that tastes like something you'd feed to a guy who was horrifyingly cruel to puppies in a past life.
    ...
    Chin Ups: 3x8 with life-like water treading

    ...
    Are you talking about chinning like the black guys do on the playgrounds (pretend you're riding a bicycle while chinning, going side-to-side on the bar while bicycling, etc.), or just flailing about in space? If you are pretending to ride the bike, just to piss off TOD, well-played.

    Regarding bulking up:

    1. Since you are a delivery driver for a pizza shop, I'm sure they let you eat as much pizza as you want. If they don't, perhaps you should propose this new feature. I drove for a pizza joint my senior year of college, and was over 300lbs due to the frequent use of this policy as well as treating myself to fistfuls of mozzarella cheese whenever I'd visit the walk-in. Not the best method, but I guarantee you'll weigh more if you implement this regimen. I also won $40 off the other workers when I demonstrated the ability to eat 2 Big Macs in under 2 minutes, and $20 to drink 12 ounces of hot sauce without coughing or wincing at all.

    2. Are you eating a full pound of beef at lunch every day? If not, start. I'd also recommend rotisserie chickens - they are ultra-cheap (only $5 at my local grocery store) and convenient. You only need a fork, as you can use the container they are sold in. Also at least a half dozen eggs each morning, with cheese, toast with jelly. It helps if you have a decent butcher who makes a decent sausage. Also, two full plates of dinner, every night. A protein shake made with egg-nog and whey is pretty tasty (and will help to put some pounds on).

  3. #43
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    Quote Originally Posted by DirtyRed View Post
    This time, not only did TOD want to repeat Arnold's retard "maxing" procedure, but also babble about all of the great fitness equipment available for purchase at Dick's. They have boxing gloves, MMA gloves, weightlifting gloves!
    Quote Originally Posted by DirtyRed View Post
    My dumb ass lost the Gatorade water bottle I use to drink pre-workout in the vast chasm of the backseat of my car. So I went to Dick's on the way to the gym to get another. I wouldn't have mentioned, if I didn't stumble across TOD in the Dick's. I must have been horrifyingly cruel to puppies in a past life. He informed me that he was there to get ankle wraps for basketball. I assumed he meant the kind of pull-on elastic braces you could get at Walgreens, as DirtyRed once got one of them back in the day when he was scrawny and played basketball and the outside of his ankle started to ache. But no, TOD corrected me, he was looking to get weighted ankle thingies so that he could dunk.
    Story adds up.

  4. #44
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    Quote Originally Posted by Chebass88 View Post
    Are you talking about chinning like the black guys do on the playgrounds (pretend you're riding a bicycle while chinning, going side-to-side on the bar while bicycling, etc.), or just flailing about in space? If you are pretending to ride the bike, just to piss off TOD, well-played.
    Naw, I'm just fat and have long arms and am therefore bad at chin ups so the last few reps invariable involve me treading air to get the last few inches of the rep.

    TOD doesn't understand that underhand grip = chin ups. He calls everything pull ups, which are overhand grip. Those who disagree can meet me on the Field of Honor.

    This workout was a mess. I get called in to help with a few deliveries because an eighth of an inch of snow apparently caused a lot of other places to stop delivery, causing us to get swamped at lunch time, to the point the one scheduled driver AND the designated back up were overwhelmed. Stuff happened and I ended up stuck on an off-ramp for twenty fucking minutes because an oversized tractor trailer carrying an XBOX HUEG steel girder thing was hit by an idiot in the middle of making a left turn, block off the entire intersection in all directions from all fucking angles.

    I have ZERO idea how this retard didn't see the huge fucking truck in front of him. That truck could NOT have surprised anyone. It needed a green light to turn left, and this turn had to have taken a full 30 seconds, and he was HALFWAY THROUGH THE TURN. Whoever hit him managed to not see the giant ass truck that was in his way for a quarter of a minute, NOR SAW THE LIGHT THAT HAD BEEN RED THE ENTIRE TIME. Goddamn rednecks.

    ...Right, the workout. After getting done with that mess they sent me on break at about 2:30, agreeing that it was cool if I came back around 6. No TOD, managed to fuck up the third squat by diving forward enough to actually fail it. Still got 5 successful squat reps total, after I reset the bar on the rack and shit. Bench press went well enough. The first work rep felt such that I was surprised I didn't genuinely injure my shoulder. I ignored it and by the fifth rep it barely hurt at all. I have no explanation other than that the DR Protocol Of Ignorance healed my shoulder in about 30 minutes. Yay!

    Deadlifts were uneventful and successful. I also took a video of my first bench rep to see if something was going wrong that could cause the problem. Will upload later. Will also uplaod to the Coaches Help Scrubs forum and demand free advice from qualified professionals I spend most of my free time calling airheaded puppets and poofting cyclists.

    Intensity Day4
    Squats:
    5x1 550 lbs
    Bench (paused): 5x1 295 lbs
    Deadlift: 3x1 500 lbs

    Also, you can clearly see from this .pdf that Best Belt belts were on the approved list of IPF bullshit in 2016, a list that is EXPLICITLY valid until 2019. That is the list I was looking at back when I ordered a $110 dollar Best Belt back in December. THIS list was updated for 2017, and does not have Best Belts on it. DirtyRed can multitask, so while brainstorming how he was going to go about the greatest and most one-sided asswhooping in recorded history, wrote an email to the meet director of that April 1st meet in Columbus he had signed up for asking about the status of the belts. She said that in that competition, as well as other local and state competitions, the exact brand didn't matter as long as it met specifications. Jingles. No knowledge of if they'll stick by their word of "VALID UNTIL DECEMBER 18th, 2018" for national meets, in the event I manage to qualify for them, so I'm going to iron out those Spectacular Asswhooping plans and see what happens.

    Also, asked about the manufacturer logo that seems to come on ALL approved singlets (and knee sleeves, and pretty much every other piece of apparel), and she told me there ARE singlets that don't have any logo on them, and to send her a link to whatever singlet and shit I was looking at buying and she'd let me know if it was good or not.

    After dealing with ALL OF THIS SHIT (partly anyway, I still haven't actually ordered a singlet), I realized, again, that this is why powerlifting will never be anything more than a niche sport for wankers. Hashtag #NicheSportForWankers. Can you imagine if Phil Mickleson had to write a fucking email to that rat bastard, Finchem, to see if not only the Callaway logos on his clubs where allowed in the Honda Classic, but if Callaway had paid their "Consider Our Equipment Legal" bribe to the PGA on time? The entire "sport" of golf would die a death within a year.

    I like to think of myself as the Phil Mickleson of powerlifting. Except I'm not left handed, I'm not loved by all (because they're jealous), and I haven't won any major championships. Or anything else.

    But I AM pudgy. So basically the Phil Mickleson of powerlifting.

  5. #45
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    Quote Originally Posted by DirtyRed View Post
    After dealing with ALL OF THIS SHIT (partly anyway, I still haven't actually ordered a singlet), I realized, again, that this is why powerlifting will never be anything more than a niche sport for wankers.
    This is only part of the reason, and only for 1 federation. Multiple feds is another, judging is another (in a pass/fail system, that's huge... Judging on a points system like gymnastics is far more forgiving), no instant replay for the judges/committee is another, inconsistent bench pause is another, using spotters instead of real goddamned safety equipment is another...

    But yeah, fuck the approved vendor list.

  6. #46
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    Quote Originally Posted by Cody View Post
    But yeah, fuck the approved vendor list.
    +1.

    Also, with their underwear requirements, I'm surprised that's not on the approved vendor list as well.

  7. #47
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    My best unsolicited advice for painful bench press shoulders:

    1) some things will work better than others.

    2) no thing will work for everyone

    3) pain may never go away completely

    4) Coach Tom C., on a bad day, will give you better advice than I can in a lifetime.

    5) when benching, put pressure on the bar as if you are bending around your chest. This sometimes gives enough adjustment in the shoulder joint.

    6) find a grip width and elbow angle that lets you bench pain free. The adjustments might be tiny.

    7) posture makes a big difference. Practice walking around with your shoulders pulled back. You'll look like an asshole but so what. The more you bench the more your shoulders tend to pull forward.

    8) light dumbbell rows high reps. Helps center the shoulder (?!?) but they can work really well.

    The image I use in all this, fuck the science - anatomy etc, is that when your shoulder hurts, some inflamed piece of something is rubbing on something else. Creating enough of a gap, or reducing the inflammation, so that they aren't rubbing, means no pain and helps healing. It's hard to file a piece of metal when the file is 2-3mm away from touching.

  8. #48
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    Quote Originally Posted by Cody View Post
    This is only part of the reason, and only for 1 federation. Multiple feds is another, judging is another (in a pass/fail system, that's huge... Judging on a points system like gymnastics is far more forgiving), no instant replay for the judges/committee is another, inconsistent bench pause is another, using spotters instead of real goddamned safety equipment is another...
    Just bench pressing is another. Half of these problems could be solved by not bench pressing. It's a shit lift for wankers. Hashtag #ShitLift4Wankers

    They COULD replace it with a standing press, but I am bad at that too. Better to just compete at squats and deadlifts.

    Quote Originally Posted by Mahendra View Post
    +1.

    Also, with their underwear requirements, I'm surprised that's not on the approved vendor list as well.
    I'm 99% certain the cheap cotton briefs I got from WalMart that I wear normally are acceptable. I have no idea what advantage cotton boxers might lend, but I don't want to go down the bitchmade rabbit hole of Equipped Lifting.



    The bench press video.

    Bathe in the tremendous athleticism displayed by the chubby ponce on the treadmill in the UK shirt while I struggle to bench babbyweight.

  9. #49
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    We have the same shoes. We're basically bromies.

  10. #50
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    starting strength coach development program
    I cannot tell if this log is some buckowski like genius work or even ahbwosg or what.

    I had a roommate in college like TOD. He would talk to you for hours without letting you get away. Well at least My other roommate said so. I would just say yah I gotta do xyz when I had enough. Or other times when he had cornered me at my desk I would Just go back to coding and periodically nod to whatever he was saying. While mostly ignoring him.

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