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I don't use straps because I am not a dainty little female. And because I don't have straps.
And if I take my shirt off, the glare from The Whiteness will drown out everything else in the frame.
Yeah, I've been getting the feeling that 5x5 bench press doesn't accumulate volume as effectively as 5x5 squats, especially given my knack for squats and whatever the opposite of a knack is for bench press. CURRENTLY it's not so broken as to require fixing, but after the meet I might keep TMing squats and figure out something different for bench press.
Also, no Light Day today, as I ate something funny yesterday and kept waking up to barf, AND I have to work at 5:30, so when I finally wasn't feeling nauseous there was hardly any time for it. Plus, given how rough Monday was after Saturday's maxing, another day of rest might not be a bad idea.
Man I want to avoid this log cause dirty red. But fuck if it isn't entertaining. Tm works great for bench. If you do liek a 4 day split. And bench and press twice a week. And inclines. And ltes. And heavy ass dips. So "Texas method"
Well, now that sense has reasserted itself within my lower digestive system, back to work. Though there's really no braver risk than doing that first work set/rep of squats within 24 hours of suffering from the squirts so badly I'm now banned from half the gas station restrooms in town.
Once that first rep unsure rep was out of the way, the workout proceeded as normal. Knee even felt fine, so let's hope that's a thing from now on.
Intensity Day 1
Squats: 5x1 540 lbs
Bench (paused): 5x1 285 lbs
Deadlift: 3x1 485 lbs
ETA: Dipshit of the Week definitely goes to the Co-Dipshits of the Week mentioned in the last Volume Day post that were pioneering new and exciting ways to look like goddamn assclowns under a barbell.
Holy shit, the fat fucking tranny at work hurt "his" back AGAIN, so I had to leave the gym after squats to cover the unlifting retard's shift, and go back to finish bench press and deadlift minus pre-workout, food, and sleep. Before one can request male pronouns, one needs to demonstrate at least metaphorical testicles and joints that aren't literally bitchmade.
Frankly, between how fat, not strong, and not smart this fucking annoying fool is, it doesn't even deserve human pronouns. When you hurt your back rolling your fat ass out of bed twice in one goddamn month, you are not "people," you are a manatee that needs to go back to the weightless environment of the ocean before you collapse in on yourself. The fact that it belongs in a mental hospital is about the fifth thing wrong with it.
And if it fills up the sinks in the wrong goddamn order one more time I'm going to flip someone's shit.
No one has been made to suffer like DirtyRed, this he knows.
Volume Day 2
Squats: 5x5 445 lbs
Four goddamn hours of work
Bench (paused): 5x5 245 lbs
Speed Deadlifts: 3x3 320 lbs
For some reason, the speed deadlifts felt pretty powerful, even though I nearly failed on the fucking bench press from being completely out of gas.
Whoopsies, forgot to update for Light Day yesterday. Not that it matters. I hate going to the gym to squat less than 400 lbs. It's embarrassing. You think John Cena squats less than 400 lbs? Of course not, he squats Big Show for reps.
Light Day 2
Squats: 2x5 315 lbs
Standing press: 3x5 165 lbs
Chin ups: 3x8
Intensity day went reasonably well, deadlifts in particular. One squat was a little shaky because I do that thing I do where I loosen up at the bottom because I'm paranoid about depth and nearly fuck everything up, but the other four reps I wasn't a jackass and they went smoothly. Despite deck scrubbing the entire goddamn store last night, my bench press was also successful, the last few reps in particular when I consciously held my back together all super tight to give a solid platform to push against.
Speaking of, let me talk about swole-sploitation. It has some how gotten out at work that I'm the strongest man alive in the store, so any time trash needs to be taken out, or some bucket of water needs to be carried back to the sinks, or something needs deck scrubbed, or pretty much anything else that requires marginally more physical effort than lazily washing dishes, they leave it for DirtyRed to do. I'm pretty sure there's a law based on a Constitutional Amendment that prevents discriminating against minorities, like people who actually lift.
Of course, if Fatty McBackproblemsat21 were to try to take out the garbage, I'd probably be covering its shifts for a fucking week.
Also, there was a round fellow at the gym today, squatting when I arrived. He had a lot of weight on the bar. I didn't bother to count exactly, but it looked like at least six plates and a 10 lbs plate. It was at least 605, may have been 695. He had knee wraps and those flat deadlift shoes, so I figured he'd at least come close to depth like an actual powerlifter might. Then he unracked the bar and walked in back out in such a wobbly manner that I was concerned it was going to flatten him right there. Then the fat girl with him gave him the No Homo Spot (unironically for once, since female), and I was concerned I was about to see two people die. But no, he collected himself, hit depth, and came back up in such a fashion that it could not have been his absolute max.
If he wasn't wearing knee wraps like an equipped little bitch, he'd be the only man in this gym's soccer-mom laden history to out-squat DirtyRed.
Also, Dipshit of the Week goes to the fool I saw on Monday bench pressing thumbless with his hands so close together they would have been on the middle knurling, had the bar actually had one. I, for one, look forward to new feats of stupidity in the future from this potential Darwin Award winner.
Intensity Day 2
Squats: 5x1 545 lbs
Bench (paused): 5x1 290 lbs
Deadlift: 3x1 495 lbs
Well that was an utter clusterfuck, though coming off of a cold, two weeks of coworker incompetence leading to a general lack of sleep, and several days of substandard eating in the wake of digestive disaster, it shouldn't be a surprise. Not that I'm not absolutely furious about all of this, but I should have seen it coming regardless. In the middle of my third squat set, my knee (read: quadriceps tendon) started aching strongly enough that the word "ache" doesn't quite cover it, so I stopped that for the day, will Ibuprofen the blimey fuck out of it, in addition to ice and heat and other shit that probably should have been attempted before now, do some empty bar for a bunch of reps on Wednesday to see how it feels, and reassess on Friday. IDEALLY I will be able to get everything in working enough order that I can essentially just redo this week, starting next Monday.
I also failed Bench Press in the fourth set of weights I had gotten before. I blame two weeks of spastic hours, carrying overweight coworkers, the loss of five pounds due to barfing, and generally having to drag all of humanity to greatness all by my lonesome. All that is a bad environment for recovery to occur in.
Speed deadlifts went well. So, you know, yay.
Absolute Trainwreck
Squats: 3x5 450 lbs stopped after knee/quadriceps tendon pain
Bench (paused): 4x5 250 lbs, failed thereafter.
Speed deadlifts: 3x2 325 lbs
Also, weirdly few candidates for Dipshit of the Week so far. Even though New Years is still in full goddamn force and EVERYONE was in the gym. The only real candidate was the guy using some contoured thing on the bar to squat 115 lbs just a touch high. That's pretty ordinary dipshittery to be getting an award for it.