DirtyRed Attempts Legitimacy

[Erok]

Yes. Exactly like the Highlander. Get Chris Lambert as your spokesperson, and become the next fad diet millionaire.

Also: great lifting, by the way. Pause squats in the low 200's nearly killed me. You are the hope for the future.

[DirtyRed]

I REALLY should update more than once a week. In general, I think I'm going to go up 10 lbs for the snatch work sets in the coming week, because the weight currently feels entirely too easy to drive any improvement, even with regards to the "skill" of handling heavier weights in that lift, when I'm largely just power snatching everything like I am currently.

Thursday 11-9-2017
Snatch: 165 lbs 2 singles
Clean&Jerk: 265 lbs 1 single
Front Squats: 285 lbs 3x3
Chin Ups: 3x8 <-I'm going to try 3x10, and if that works, I'm going to start adding weight. Who would have though losing 20 lbs and change would make chin ups so much easier?

Possibly because I was generally better fed the previous 24 hours, the paused squats on Saturday went much better than the previous week. And possibly because I really wasn't able to eat much of anything IMMEDIATELY before the gym, I ended up getting REALLY feeble, shaky, and outright light-headed as the workout went on from their. Either what little I did eat was a bit funny, or I just ran out of blood sugar or something. I was half dead when I showed up to work after the workout, but getting some carbs in the form of sugary sports drinks and a quick snack seemed to remedy it. Regardless, the presses fell apart, still managed to get the deadlifts. I'm going to repeat the presses for formality's sake and go from there.

Saturday 11-11-2017:
Paused Squats: 445 lbs 3x5
Standing Press: 195 lbs 1x3
Deadlifts: 475 lbs 1x3

Everything on Monday went smoothly. I hate having nothing to bitch about, so I bitch about having nothing to bitch about.

Monday 11-9-2017
Snatch: 145 lbs 8x2
Clean&Jerk: 230 lbs 15x2
Dips: 5x10

MAYBE one more week doing the 5x10 squats, just because I wanted to get to 5x10 with LMAO4PLAYT more than anything related to sensible programming.

Tuesday 11-14-2017
Squats: 395 lbs 5x10
Standing Press: 170 lbs 5x5
Deadlifts: 420 lbs 3x3

Yes. Exactly like the Highlander. Get Chris Lambert as your spokesperson, and become the next fad diet millionaire.

Good idea! I'll also attach some Amount of Observed Absorption (AOA) to completely subjectively measure the essence of strength taken from one's meal, and let the idiot dieters work it out themselves, and cash the fucking check.

[DirtyRed]

Thursday was a neat day. I got to see THREE different types of biceps curls I had never goddamn seen before. The first I call "Offering Curls." A man was holding one of the preloaded barbells as far towards his fingertips as possible for whatever reason, and then "curling" it not up to about his shoulders, but up and out in front of his face, like a priest holding up the offering before the cross. The second were Looper Curls. Another guy was curling the weight way out in front of him, pulling it back to his shoulders, and then lowering it, tracing an oval in the air. The third was some clusterfuck of a "complex," where a guy would lower the bar halfway down, bring it back up, lower it ALL the way down, bring it halfway up, lower it back down, then pelvic thrust it all the way up.

Gotta do 11 different type of curls to confuse the body, right?

The actual workout went well enough. My jerk isn't very crisp because I can't bring myself to trust my old, worn ass shoes to not SLIP on the split stance and nearly kill myself. I've sent the most politely worded thing DR has ever typed to the LimitlessFts dweebs from which I ordered shoes literally five weeks ago, asking what the anticipated schedule was with regards to actually getting them made and shipped. The fellow at the USAPL meet I ordered them from said it'd be two+ weeks before they could be shipped, AND I figured he was giving me the optimistic estimate, but unless they have a Tibetan monk whittle these fucking things out of a shoot of 100 year old bamboo and then SWIM them across the Pacific Ocean, I would have expected them to be shipped by now. They had previously responded to my inquiry about an order confirmation saying that they DID have the order recorded and everything, but for whatever reason didn't send the confirmation. I contacted them late Thursday, HOPING to hear from them Friday, and if I don't hear from them on Monday, the Field of Honor might have to make a road trip.

I also figured to throw in some roman chair sit ups on Thursdays because it's the only abdominal exercise that isn't complete shit AND I could probably do with balancing out the large amount of erector training going on. Because that's what good programming is, right? Just some nonsense thrown in mid program.

Thursday 11-16-2017
Snatch: 175 lbs single
Clean&Jerk: 270 lbs single
Front Squats: 290 lbs 3x3
Chin Ups: 3x10
Roman Chair Sit Ups: 3x8

Confirming once again that using your braincase for percussive problem solving causes stupidity, I forgot to bring my knee sleeves on Saturday. The only thing I'd use them for is squat, and they got done as well as could be expected without the knee sleeves. I'm still probably going to go to 5x3 this coming Saturday because paused squats for sets of five are becoming unpleasant. I'm also going to stop doing a deadlift triple and move to two doubles for a week or two, before going to just singles.

Saturday 11-18-2017
Paused Squats: 455 lbs 3x5
Standing Press: 195 lbs 1x4
Deadlifts: 485 lbs 1x3
Close Grip Bench: 205 lbs 3x10
Curls: 90 lbs 3x8

[DirtyRed]

Blah blah update more than once a week we both know I'm lying to you and myself at this point.

Monday was fun. I saw ANOTHER novel form of bicep curl I can't even begin to name. Some guy was facing the wrong way on the preacher rack, by which I mean his chest was resting where one's triceps would normally rest, about the midpoint of his humerus was resting on the top edge of the rack (which seems to be a really neat way to hurt your elbow), his chin was tucked, and he would curl the weight up over the back of his head. I got some top notch bro scientists up in the gym.

Monday 11-20-2017
Snatch: 155 lbs 8x2
Clean&Jerk: 235 lbs 15x1
Dips: 5x10
Curls: 4x10 80 lbs

Tuesday was considerably less fun. Believe it or not, LMAO4PLAYHT for sets of ten is hard. Definitely cutting back the total reps next Tuesday. I can probably do one successful week of 4x10 without barfing or otherwise requiring medical attention.

Tuesday 11-21-2017
Squats: 405 lbs 5x10
Standing Press: 175 lbs 5x5
Deadlift: 425 lbs 3x3

I MAY have pulled something in my right arm/shoulder on Thursday. It felt just weird after the top snatch, worse after the top clean and jerk, and for whatever reason, hurt slipping out from under the front squats after sets. Felt just fine DURING the sets, but unfolding my arm after putting it back in the rack ached like a motherfucker. Whatever I did, it wasn't bothering me Saturday, so I'm applying the DirtyRed Protocol (ignoring it) for the time being.

Thursday 11-23-2017
Snatch: 180 lbs single
Clean&Jerk: 275 lbs single
Front Squats: 295 lbs 3x3
Chin Ups: 3x10
Roman Chair Sit Ups: 3x8

Saturday went well. Switching paused squats from 3x5 to 5x3 naturally made them a bit easier. They will continue to get heavier until I have to go to 3x3 or something in order to not fail. Deadlifts also went to two doubles because last week's triple was barely successful. This ought to continue until I go back to doing three singles.

Saturday 11-25-2017
Paused Squats: 465 lbs 5x3
Standing Press: 195 lbs 1x5
Deadlifts: 495 lbs 2x2
Close Grip Bench: 205 lbs 3x10
Curls: 90 lbs 3x8

[DirtyRed]

HA. It didn't take me an entire week to update this time.

I think the peanut gallery has finally run out of wacky curl variations, but I'm worried they're taking a break to brainstorm up new and exciting ways to make NOGAINS. While all of this has been completed fairly crisply, how does one not snag the goddamn bar on their fuckmothering knee sleeves? Like, once a day either a snatch or clean (usually snatch) will catch the bottom edge of my knee sleeve and it's starting to really braid my pubes.

Also, written below is what I PLANNED to do. I might have done an extra set of snatch, and perhaps a couple extra clean&jerks, because I am a goddamn retard and kept losing count between sets/reps. But I'm 99% certain I did at least this. I need one of them basketball coach pocket whiteboard things to keep track of which set I'm on.

Monday 11-27-2027
Snatch: 160 lbs 8x2
Clean&Jerk: 240 lbs 15x1
Dips: 5x10
Curls: 80 lbs 4x10

Dropping one set of 10rep squats was not the relief I was hoping it was. DEFINITELY dropping to sets of 8 next time. Deadlifts at a not terribly heavy weight were still a wee bit of a grind, probably due to how exhausted my ass was (no homo) after those squats.

Tuesday 11-28-2017
Squats: 415 lbs 4x10
Standing Press: 5x5 180 lbs
Deadlifts: 430 lbs 3x3

So I directly emailed the guy I had ordered those shoes from, and he said he never got my contact through the website's contact feature, which could entirely boil down to my browser or internet fucking it up. Or to me actually forgetting to hit the send button. The world wonders. Anyway, he said the manufacturer had some "equipment delays" but that he was expecting to get the shoes in and ready to ship "any day now." He also said he'd send me wrist wraps as an apology for the delay. I didn't have the heart to tell him I don't use wrist wraps because I don't grip bench presses like a complete tard, and also I bench press like a wimp.

The shoes can't get here fast enough, as I'm REALLY struggling to jerk this weight with my old ass, slick shoes. Not sure how an extra .15 of an inch in the heel will affect my lifting, but we'll find out and it surely won't be a complete disaster. Surely.

Thursday 11-30-2017
Snatch: 185 lbs single
Clean&Jerk: 280 lbs single
Front Squats: 300 lbs 3x3
Chin ups: 3x10
Roman Chair Sit Ups: 3x8

[DirtyRed]

Another weekly update. Shut up.

Saturday squats went well smoothly. The standing presses are not going as well as I might have hoped. Just BARELY got the five reps. I ONCE could do 215 for a really ugly set of five. It seems taking essentially a year to focus entirely on bench press has diminished my standing press. I seem to be suffering from a general lack of overhead strength compared to the last time I ran a "classic" lift focused program. Once I've ran this bit out with respect to squats and deadlifts, doing what I can with the classic lifts along the way, I'll probably start doing more volume in the standing press and incorporating push presses, because I really need to increase the amount of weight I can support overhead so I can show off on social media.

Saturday 12-2-2017
Paused Squats: 475 lbs 5x3
Standing Press: 195 lbs 1x5
Deadlifts: 500 lbs 2x2
Close Grip Bench: 3x10 205 lbs
Curls: 3x8 90 lbs

Monday was a master's class on Why We Can't Have Nice Things. My gym recently bought a Texas Deadlift Bar. Now, sure, that is a gimmick bar for unlifting wankers (hashtag #GimmickBar4UnliftingWankers), but it's nice for unlifting wankers to have. Someone even had the bright idea of hot gluing "DEADLIFTS ONLY" on the collar of the sleeve and putting posters up telling people not to use it in the goddamn rack. Naturally, there was one idiot doing LMAO3PLAYT rack pulls with it. Because, you know, the purpose of the bar is the bend a lot, so why not START with the bar bent as shit? BRILLIANT!!1! Later, he used the bar to curl 65 lbs. In the squat rack.

I ended up with a bit of a hole in the skin on the front of the first phalanx of my thumb (the part below the joint below the pad of the "end" of the thumb). I'm not sure if it's just that my skin really hasn't had a lot of time to adapt to hook gripping cleans, or if I'm hook gripping wrong. For whatever reason, my right hand was not similarly damaged.

Monday 12-3-2017
Snatch: 165 lbs 8x2
Clean&Jerks: 245 lbs 15x1
Dips: 5x10
Curls: 80 lbs 4x10

Tuesday continued the master class. First fucking thing I see when I enter is a dude squatting with the deadlift bar. Just to mix it up, I might have to do my standing presses with it. Or fuck, do clean and jerks with it. Really get that WHIP off the shoulders to momentum the bar up.

5x8 squats weren't as much of a reprieve as I had hoped, but I should at least be able to do them again for a week or three. Tape on the thumb to cover the blister/ripped callus/hole/whatever didn't affect deadlifts.

Tuesday 12-4-2017
Squats: 5x8 425 lbs
Standing Press: 5x5 185 lbs
Deadlifts: 3x3 435 lbs

Thursday was a mixed bag. While it took three tries, I got 190 lbs on the snatch. Really, the pull wasn't the problem. I pulled the shit out of it every time, but the first two I couldn't fucking control it overhead and lost it forward twice and backwards once. And even on the successful try, despite catching it will with locked elbows and everything, it wobbled before I could settle it and stand back up. But that's still snatch progress, and I'm pleasantly surprised at how well I've been pulling them. I could not progress from last week's 280 lbs C&J, failing the jerk with 285 lbs three goddamn times. It's comforting that I DID clean the shit out of it three times, but it's clear my overhead and general shoulder strength are lacking, I can't lock out a jerk, and I can't settle a snatch. I feel that, in addition to more standing press volume and push presses, whatever I do once this run is done is going to include some standard barbell rows, as EVERY direction of my shoulders clearly needs more training. I have some schemes of what I might do, all of which so brilliant and undeniably ingenious that my own head would explode if I even began to understand what I'm thinking about. I'll cross that bridge when I come to it.

Thursday 12-7-2017
Snatch: 190 lbs single
Clean&Jerk: 285 phale 280 lbs single
Front Squats: 305 lbs 3x3
Chin ups: 3x10
Roman Chair Sit Ups: 3x8

Also, my goddamn lower back/SI joint/pelvis/I don't know is acting up again. I'm not sure if this is L5/S1 disc issues, though it's rather favoring the right side (read: unilateral), or SI joint ache, or even problems with the right glute muscle. The discomfort hasn't been enough to merit any changes in activity, even in regards to heavy ass barbells, but it's about as much as I could get away with describing as a "dull ache." I'll play it by ear tomorrow and see how it goes. This sort of thing USUALLY ebbs and flows, but it also isn't USUALLY this much of a literal pain in the ass.

[Sean Herbison]

Do you do any overhead squats? If I'm going to train full snatch, those are pretty much essential for me. Otherwise I'm just not stable enough to stand up with it, despite the strength being there.

[DirtyRed]

Yay, weekly update! Woohoo! (shut up)

Saturday went about as well as normal. There is still no way I'm going to be able to go up from 195 lbs on the standing press next time and I am still struggling to care that much. Though now that I think about it, if I have some extra time I might do a few light push presses to get the feel for them in anticipation of doing them for realzies whenever I finish running the current nonsense. The deadlift doubles were really hard, and might not be able to continue next time. No significant problems with the lower back discomfort.

Saturday 12-9-2017
Paused Squats: 485 5x3
Standing Press: 195 lbs 1x5
Deadlifts: 505 lbs 2x2
Close Grip Bench: 205 lbs 3x10
Curls: 3x8 90 lbs

Monday went well. I really pulled the snatches super strong like. C&Js weren't AS good, but all rock solid.

Monday 12-11-2017
Snatches: 170 lbs 8x2
Clean&Jerks: 250 lbs 15x1
Dips: 5x10
Curls: 80 lbs 3x10

Which brings us to Tuesday. Sort of. The rugby coach had died, which is unfortunate, and the visitation dealy was Tuesday evening. I had shit to do earlier in the day so I figured I'd bring a gym bag int he car and workout afterwards. At the visitation, I hear from the various rugby players in attendance that a "social" is being held in the coach's honor afterwards, because that's what he would have wanted. I'm not sure he would have cared that strongly one way or the other, but he certainly wouldn't have been offended if everyone got really, really drunk. Naturally, it is incumbent upon ole DR to appear and have at least one beer. I figured I'd go, have exactly two beers, sing some wacky songs (didn't get around to Jesus Can't Play Rugby, sad), leave at a reasonable hour and work out until 1 AM because fuck it.

Everyone has a game plan until the keg shows up. Which happened about an hour late, which STARTED me off behind schedule. Anyway *mumblemumble* beers later, I say goodbye to everyone at make it to the gym shortly before midnight, thus "sort of" Tuesday. I wasn't really DRUNK, but I was certainly drunk enough that I was mildly dizzy BEFORE squat sets (and absolutely nonfunctional afterwards), and very much drunk enough to be constantly getting distracted by 1 AM informercials, the speed bag, 2Fast2Furious, etc. A few HOURS into this shit I notice I have completely sobered up and it's 3:30, with deadlifts to go. As I was doing some light stretching afterwards, the dream of getting home by 5 AM still alive, some of the early morning crew started showing up, and one of them recognized me from the power lifting meet last year at the local rec center. I honestly do not remember the topic, between the alcohol and the not sleeping, but that conversation took 30 minutes. So, I finally left as the fucking sun was coming up, one more stupid ass, rugby-induced all-nighter in the books. It's what he would have wanted.

Seriously, if I missed a workout over this, he'd probably haunt me.

Tuesday 12-12-2017
Squats: 435 lbs 5x8
Standing Press: 185 lbs 5x5
Deadlifts: 3x3 440 lbs

Thursday was successful. Got 195 lbs snatch pretty solidly, and 285 lbs C&J really, really ugly-like. The clean was fine, I'm sure, the jerk was a clusterfuck of dubious elbows and goddamn ice skating shoes. All I want is for the shoes that I ordered to arrive in the same fucking QUARTER I ordered them in.

Also got to see someone sumo "deadlift" LMAO1PLAYT with the gimmick bar. I was so disappointed when that was just a warm up and not his max. I think he ended up in the low 400s for a couple reps.

Thursday 12-14-2017
Snatch: 190 lbs single 195 lbs single
Clean&Jerk: 280 lbs single 285 lbs single
Front Squats: 310 lbs 3x3
Chin ups: 3x10
Roman Chair Sit Ups: 5 lbs 3x8

The Snatch:


As you can see, my toes actually come off the ground as the bar passes the knees. I was unaware this was happening, I'm FAIRLY certain it's not supposed to happen, and I'll tinker with it a bit on Monday. I think in trying to get my back really set and my lats really tight to keep the bar IN (I have previously had the bar occasionally float too far out in front of me), I witlessly shifted my entire mass too far backwards.

Do you do any overhead squats? If I'm going to train full snatch, those are pretty much essential for me. Otherwise I'm just not stable enough to stand up with it, despite the strength being there.

It had crossed my mind to do some of those, but I'm not perfectly set up for them. No jerk blocks or anything, so I'd have to do the ghetto unrack-it-on-your-back-and-push-behind-the-neck-press-it-into-a-snatch-rack deal. Which seems mildly annoying for the shoulders. ALSO, I feel it is more important to work my shoulder and upper back muscles through a range of motion. I'm not OPPOSED to working in some overhead squats, those are just relatively low priority. At least my snatch catch is DECENT, my jerk is a shitshow, and I think it's only KIND OF because of the shoes slipping all over. I'm just not quite as strong overhead as I was before I took a year to just bench press, and while snatch weights aren't QUITE heavy enough to wreak havoc as a result, C&J weights are.

[DirtyRed]

Monthly update? I don't know, fuck it. Time to get caught up since I can't hoist because Jesus closed the fucking gym.

Saturday (LAST Saturday) was awful. I somehow went from feeling fine on Thursday to PEAK COLD. The entire thing is what I imagine hell to be, just a bleary dream combined with feeling like a zombie someone ran over with a snow plow. After the meat of the stuff was done, I called it and didn't bother with the usual close grip bench or curls, and went back to bed.

Saturday 12-16-2017
Paused Squats: 495 lbs 5x3
Standing Press: 195 lbs 1x5
Deadlift: 510 lbs 3x1

I was feeling BETTER Monday, but not exactly well. The first snatch double was ugly, and jerks suffered for a lack of energy. Still, everything actually got DONE.

Monday 12-18-2017
Snatch: 175 lbs 8x2
Clean&Jerk: 255 15x1
Dips: 5x10
Curls: 80 lbs 4x10

I no longer FELT sick on Tuesday, but was still sniffling a bit and generally had a considerable amount of mucus to continue to process/sneeze all over the cardio equipment. That'll teach them a lesson about not getting SWOLE. Squats failed in the fifth set. I PROBABLY could had gotten them if they weren't at the tail end of half a week of being so doped up on Nyquil I could only declare a total boycott of the League That Shan't Be Named until Goodell is publicly executed on Wednesday. Regardless, I'm going back to 5x5 for a few weeks, at which point it'll be time to see where I'm at with regards to the classic lifts and squats and deadlifts. See if I can at least hit old maxes now that I'm walking around 25 lbs lighter than I was when I hit those maxes (though I set those maxes after dropping 15 lbs from "walking around weight" in order to weigh in).

Tuesday 12-19-2017
Squats: 445 lbs 4x8 1x6
Standing Press: 185 lbs 5x5
Deadlifts: 445 lbs 3x3

Thursday MIGHT had been a bit more successful if I was completely healthy for the week leading up to it. Still got 200 lbs really solidly on snatch. Just did 285 lbs C&J again, and it took two attempts to do THAT. Same story as usual, clean it really pretty, jerk is a slip-sliding disaster. I'm wait until after The Holidays to email the fool back and politely inform him that I ordered my shoes literally last year.

Thursday 12-21-2017
Snatch: 195 lbs and 200 lbs singles
C&J: 285 lbs single
Front Squat: 315 lbs 3x3
Chin ups: 3x10
Roman Chair Sit Ups: 3x8

Saturday was rather unremarkable. Going to singles almost made pause squatting 505 lbs easy. I certainly didn't need time to shake off dizziness after each "set" at any rate.

Saturday 12-23-2017
Paused Squats: 505 lbs 5x1
Standing Press: 195 lbs 1x5
Deadlifts: 515 lbs 3x1
Close Grip Bench: 205 lbs 3x10
Curls: 90 lbs 3x8

And now may we pray for a Christmas Miracle and I manage to update again before fucking New Years.

[DirtyRed]

Pre-New-Year's update! For certain time zones, anyway.

I couldn't work out on Monday because Jesus. Stupid Jesus. So I did Tuesday, Wednesday, Friday, and Saturday. There may have been a TEENSY hiccup Saturday because of not having a rest day prior to dem heavy ass weights, but otherwise, stuff went smoothly.

Tuesday 12-26-2017
Snatch: 180 lbs 8x2
Clean&Jerk: 260 lbs15x1
Dips: 5x10
Curls: 80 lbs 4x10

Squats on Wednesday weren't as easy as I was expecting, going to 5x5 from 5x8. Not sure why I thought 455x5x5 was going to be easy, really. Must be the head injuries.

Wednesday 12-27-2017
Squats: 455 lbs 5x5
Standing Press: 5x5 185 lbs
Deadlift: 450 lbs 3x3

I didn't really seem UP for Friday. Pulls felt kind of slow, which is bad when one is trying to snatch. Still hit 200 lbs again, but could not get 205 lbs. Clean and jerks were a shoe-addled shitshow, requiring a couple attempts to barely get 285 lbs and I didn't even think to try for more. Front squats went well, but I'm noticing my upper back is kind of rounding forward. Not NEARLY enough to jeopardize the rep, but I'm starting to think my upper back might be relatively weak for the shit I'm trying to do.

Friday 12-29-2017
Snatch: 200 lbs single
Clean and Jerk: 285 lbs single
Front Squats: 320 lbs 3x3
Chin Ups: 3x10
Roman Chair Sit Ups: 3x10

Squats went well on Saturday. Standing press went about as obstinately as usual, and I couldn't even budge the third deadlift. Which is concerning, as I'm 99% certain I did 520 lbs for three singles in my last training cycle. Though I was 20 lbs heavier and probably did exactly fuck all the day before and was more fresh. I'll try it again next Saturday, because inelegantly charging at problems is what I'm good at. This little training cycle has probably run its course, really, but I've still got at least a couple more weeks of doing heavier squats. Then I'll see where my maxes are on a variety of things and go from there. It would be neat if I could get 600 lbs squat again about 10 lbs lighter than I've previously managed.

Saturday 12-30-2017
Paused Squats: 515 lbs 5x1
Standing Press: 1x5 195 lbs
Deadlifts: 520 2x1 and a failed third attempt.
Close Grip Bench: 205 lbs 3x10
Curls: 90 lbs 3x8