How do you politely get rid of people giving bad advice? How do you politely get rid of people giving bad advice?

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Thread: How do you politely get rid of people giving bad advice?

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Jul 2019
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    326

    Default How do you politely get rid of people giving bad advice?

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    I know, maybe this is something I should be socially adjusted enough to figure out on my own. But it seems I am not. Finally had that dreaded situation today of the guy trying to "help" while I was doing squats, insisting I shouldn't be bent forward and I was going to hurt my back. I tried to be brief and make it clear my back is fine and I am just fine with how I am doing my squats. Probably didn't help that this guy was bothering me about them mid set, which meant my breathing was reserved for valsalvas and at the top exhales, not talking to him.

    I didn't want to be straight up hostile, but my girlfriend told me I was coming off kinda mean to the guy after the exchange. It was hard to deal with, because he would NOT let up. I think because he was a roidbro type guy with big ol' muscles he felt I should be submissive and heed his words. But I also feel he was maybe just doing what he thought was helping. His insistence though was making me a bit worried this was gonna turn into something like that video I saw of a teenager getting attacked by a guy while he was deadlifting. I know this happens to others, how do you deal with it and try to keep it civil but also brief? I wasn't about to give this guy a detailed breakdown on the low-bar squat, and I am certain if I tried he was not about to learn something from the guy he thought he was teaching a lesson.

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Jul 2007
    Location
    North Texas
    Posts
    41,868

    Default

    What did you actually say to him?

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Jan 2018
    Posts
    72

    Default

    Dont worry about what your girlfriend thinks go with your gut. My wife thinks Im mean because Im direct and while polite I say what I really think.

    I would tell the gym bro my coach is Rippetoe go argue with him lol

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Mar 2015
    Location
    Akron, OH
    Posts
    1,235

    Default

    Assuming no one touches me:
    Step 1) I appreciate the concern, but I'm good, man.

    If they pursue it,

    Step 2) I didn't ask you for help. Leave me alone.

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Feb 2016
    Location
    Cologne, Germany
    Posts
    101

    Default

    The problem is that most people never heard of low bar squats and what that means technically.

    Therefore two options work well:

    I think you might confuse high bar squats with low bar squats...

    or

    What in your mind is the difference between low bar and high bar squats?

    In most cases hell just be confused and have no answer or hell try to hide his lack of knowledge through incoherent rambling.

    Then you can follow up with something like:

    With high bar squats you are right, the back angle needs to be more vertical. But Im doing low bar squats where the back needs to be more horizontal if I want to keep the bar over midfoot...

    Or just say Look it up and how the back angle changes with different bar positions. Type in something like low bar vs. high bar for example. There are hundreds of videos about it. Fascinating stuff...

    If his reaction to this is respectful and polite you can continue to talk about it (or just walk away) but if hes pissed just walk away immediately or tell him to calm down and look up the videos.

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Feb 2020
    Posts
    85

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    Just work on getting your reps with 500 on the bar. That's impressive enough for people to leave you alone in most gyms. Until then, the above mentioned "Thanks but I'm good" should suffice. You don't need to justify what you're doing and he won't care anyway.

  7. #7
    Join Date
    Jul 2019
    Posts
    326

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    He started by telling me I was gonna hurt my back, I told him my back was fine. It was hard to really do much talking mid squat set. After finishing and racking the bar, and then was able to talk a bit more, I explained to him it was a low bar squat and you're supposed to bend forward, it loads muscles like the hamstrings more. He finally left me alone with the passive-aggressive "alright" after that. Leading up to that he was being really insistent, which mean I had to be really insistent in return.

  8. #8
    Join Date
    Feb 2020
    Posts
    11

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    Happened to me today, a girl did it once to me and I said okay, thanks and rolled my eyes. Continued to laugh in my head while she box squatted with chains in tennis shoes watching her balance shift constantly while looking straight up at the ceiling.

  9. #9
    Join Date
    Jan 2011
    Posts
    1,065

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    That sux, and it's one of the reasons why I try to train at home. I assume you are just starting out? Most people after being on the novice program a few months are stronger than 95% of the consumers at commerical gyms in my experience. So once you are moving a few plates the chances of being harassed go down dramatically. Also headphones, even if I don't have anything playing, I have them on.

    The dude can probably sense you are green, because you can always tell. It will go away in time. I'm not a tough guy but I only remember being approached a couple times, or had idiots run in trying to spot your set and I just gave them a strange look like they had AIDS and said 'no thank you' until they left me alone. Gyms is not for talkin'.

    See a coach, it will help your confidence. And if nothing else you can always tell the bullies: "sorry my coach told me..."

  10. #10
    Join Date
    Feb 2020
    Posts
    60

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    starting strength coach development program
    "OK boomer."

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