My fiance tries to stop me from eating My fiance tries to stop me from eating - Page 3

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Thread: My fiance tries to stop me from eating

  1. #21
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    May 2020
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    • wichita falls texas december seminar 2020
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    Dear Stigsrud,

    "My fiancé tries to stop me from eating"

    That was the title of your post, but your post does not say that--rather it says,

    Quote Originally Posted by Stigsrud View Post
    I'm a 24 y.o. male at 6"1 and 215 lbs. I started NLP 3 weeks ago, and so far progress has been good (squat up from 198 to 275). My body fat % is somewhere around 25-30% I think, but take this with a big grain of salt.

    I'm currently eating ~220g protein and ~3000 kcal a day. I think I might need to increase that to 250/4000.

    My fiance however disagrees, and thinks I eat too much already. She worries I will get fat(ter). Do I listen to her? If not, what can I tell her to make her accept my eating?
    In this case, at a 275 squat, age 24, 6'1" height and 215 bodyweight, most folks on this board would endorse getting stronger and eating enough to do so. Coach Nick has told you above what your specific approach should be (increase calories slowly, get to 405 squat).

    If your fiancé wants to cook meals for you that are too small, that would be sad--but it sounds like she just disagrees and worries about you and is telling you that.

    It is not always a cause for concern that wives (and future wives, such as your fiancé) occasionally disagree or worry (possibly often!).

    There's nothing wrong with listening to your fiancé--your question should be: (1) is she pleasant about the disagreement, (2) will she listen to your reasons for your actions (see Coach Nick above) and change her mind on the basis of your reasons, and (3) if she continues to disagree, can she accept your decision (about your own body in this case!) and be content with it.

    If your fiancé can listen and be pleasant and accepting, even in a disagreement, then you have no cause for concern--you are blessed!

    Best wishes to you and your fiancé, and good luck on your NLP!

  2. #22
    Join Date
    Oct 2020
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    So I was able to sit her down and look at some numbers. I have made an Excle-sheet with everything I eat, and the protein and calorie content.
    We sat down and looked at it, tweaked it, and I ended up at 235g og protein and 3400 kcal(200-300kcal up).

    I reduced the milk to only what I use for my oat, and she got to propose a new protein source. Peanuts was also reduced, a big concern of hers. We'll see by Christmas I guess if this works.

    Again, I really appreciate the feedback guys!

    Best regards, Stigsrud.

  3. #23
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    Jul 2007
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    North Texas
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    How wonderful for you. You were given permission.

  4. #24
    Join Date
    Feb 2020
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    Quote Originally Posted by Mark Rippetoe View Post
    How wonderful for you. You were given permission.
    He did make a spreadsheet for her consideration...

    I'm not a relationship expert, and I completely understand her desire for you not to become a fat ass, but wow.

  5. #25
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    Dec 2015
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    Boston, MA
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    Even though I have been married for 20 years I have no idea how or why. Arguments and disagreements are all part of it. But here’s my theory: you are not fat. You are a strong young man but yes fluffy.

    That is not the problem. You will want that size as your LP progresses, it will be put to good use. The problem may be generational. Meaning that young women today are products of the culture in which men are skinny. Skinny and weak. A culture in which Pajama Boy is the norm, or at least not discouraged.

    But that is not you. You are choosing a better path. Have her read Rip’s Pajama Boy article and let her decide which one she prefers: skinny and weak Pajama Boy or big strong you.
    Then you will know what you have to do.

  6. #26
    Join Date
    Apr 2019
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    45

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    My wife always tells me I’m fat even though I’m not. I went down from 97kg as a fat guy to 77kg and she still called me fat. I’m doing Starting Strength now and have gained to 84kg from 77kg in 5 months and I’m still fat according to her, even though I haven’t gained much body fat at all. It’s called marriage!

  7. #27
    Join Date
    Feb 2020
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    I still think the fiancée is trying to prevent a pizzageddon.

  8. #28
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    Jul 2007
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    North Texas
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    Either way, she has the keys.

  9. #29
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    Jan 2011
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    Quote Originally Posted by Stigsrud View Post
    I was afraid I'd get such an answer. It's not really an option though. In any case, am I right in that I should eat more? I'm drinking half a gallon of milk by the way, as I am somewhat fat.
    Stigsrud! Don't listen to these jokers on this board. First thing you need to know is, can she cook? If she can't you will go hungry and you will be eating off the BBQ everyday.

    Quote Originally Posted by bobman View Post
    I told my wife there only going to be one fat person in our marriage and it’s going to be me. She is the hot one I’m the one that protects the family and that’s the end of it

    Still married happily 40 years later (most of the time lol)
    It is a proven fact that overweight women live longer than men who mention it!

  10. #30
    Join Date
    Aug 2020
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    176

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    starting strength coach development program
    Quote Originally Posted by Stigsrud View Post
    So I was able to sit her down and look at some numbers. I have made an Excle-sheet with everything I eat, and the protein and calorie content.
    We sat down and looked at it, tweaked it, and I ended up at 235g og protein and 3400 kcal(200-300kcal up).

    I reduced the milk to only what I use for my oat, and she got to propose a new protein source. Peanuts was also reduced, a big concern of hers. We'll see by Christmas I guess if this works.

    Again, I really appreciate the feedback guys!

    Best regards, Stigsrud.
    Think about it, you had to create a spreadsheet to get her to allow you to eat what is necessary for an exercise programme you want to do.

    Sounds like jail to me.

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