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Thread: My fiance tries to stop me from eating

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Oct 2020
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    Default My fiance tries to stop me from eating

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    I'm a 24 y.o. male at 6"1 and 215 lbs. I started NLP 3 weeks ago, and so far progress has been good (squat up from 198 to 275). My body fat % is somewhere around 25-30% I think, but take this with a big grain of salt.

    I'm currently eating ~220g protein and ~3000 kcal a day. I think I might need to increase that to 250/4000.

    My fiance however disagrees, and thinks I eat too much already. She worries I will get fat(ter). Do I listen to her? If not, what can I tell her to make her accept my eating?

    Best regards, Stigsrud.

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Jul 2007
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    North Texas
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    53,559

    Default

    Get a better fiancé. Things will not improve.

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Oct 2020
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    I was afraid I'd get such an answer. It's not really an option though. In any case, am I right in that I should eat more? I'm drinking half a gallon of milk by the way, as I am somewhat fat.

  4. #4
    Join Date
    May 2018
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    1,226

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Stigsrud View Post
    Do I listen to her?
    No.

    Quote Originally Posted by Stigsrud View Post
    what can I tell her to make her accept my eating?
    Nothing.


    Enjoy marriage.

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Jun 2018
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    Toronto, ON, CA
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    My parents did the same thing to me, but I can't choose new parents

  6. #6
    Join Date
    May 2019
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    Quote Originally Posted by Stigsrud View Post
    I'm drinking half a gallon of milk by the way, as I am somewhat fat.
    Hence her concern.

    Ditch the milk and track your food intake with a smartphone app. Yes you need to eat a lot but if you aren't careful you may eat too much. Only by tracking can you see if you are a little high with calories. An extra 400 or 500 each day will add up fast.

    Tell her you are planning to cut in a few weeks and make a plan to actually do it. If you show her you can cut weight according to a plan she may stop worrying about your eating.

  7. #7
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    May 2010
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    Murphysboro, IL
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    You have some discernment to undertake. What is more important to you? Make your choice and then live with it.

  8. #8
    Join Date
    Aug 2018
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    370

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    What happens when she says you are lifting too heavy?

    I think Rip is right, if you are having to ask for help about this now as fiancé, then as wife it only get's worse and more expensive to fix. Fiancé 2.0 might be your best solution.

  9. #9
    Join Date
    Mar 2015
    Location
    Indianapolis, IN
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    2,266

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    Quote Originally Posted by Stigsrud View Post
    It's not really an option though.
    This is inaccurate.

    Quote Originally Posted by Stigsrud View Post
    She worries I will get fat(ter). Do I listen to her? If not, what can I tell her to make her accept my eating?
    Your fiance is going to worry about a lot of what you choose to do. You will feel the same about her. Just because you don't approve of each other's actions doesn't mean you don't accept each other for who they are.

    Is this important enough that she'll break off the engagement/marriage if you get too fat?
    Starting Strength Indianapolis is up and running. Sign up for a free 30-minute coaching session.
    I answer all my emails: ALewis@StartingStrengthGyms.com

  10. #10
    Join Date
    Jul 2019
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    2,631

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    starting strength coach development program
    As someone who eats to the tune of 5000 calories a day right now at a much older age, you won't get much fatter. There will be some. But your muscles will get bigger by an even greater margin. With your youth, you might gain even less fat than I have. Tell her you won't be eating like that forever all the time, and even show her some photos of bodybuilders in the off season (they're out there). Even THOSE guys get pretty puffy when they're building the muscles up in size, regardless of the heavily supplemented hormone environment they're working with. For reference, in the past 10 weeks or so of very big eating, I've gained about 24.4 pounds. According to the basic calorie math, I should have gained almost twice that in sheer weight. No one thinks I look like a fat guy though. I met a lot of my girlfriend's co-workers recently and they all thought I looked like a football lineman and started picking my brain about training and nutrition.

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