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  1. #1
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    Default Getting Angry

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    I hope this isn't too off topic but its something that I think people here will have valuable input in.

    I'm 43 M wife 2 kids work fairly long hours with moderate stress levels. Training going pretty well.

    However I am finding myself getting furious in certain situations recently. I just feel like the world is full of entitled inconsiderate assholes. No major instances recently but so many instances of having to bite my tongue to avoid a confrontation knowing that the red mist could descend and end up doing something regrettable risking job/livelihood etc.

    Have other people managed this? I'm not sure whether to go down the "burn off the aggression" route by adding some boxing/BJJ etc (I used to play rugby but not up to that after a patella tendon rupture) or do I need to go the opposite way with some mindfulness/yoga etc?

    I now avoid alcohol as that has never mixed well with my family.

    Does anyone have any suggestions?

    With many thanks

  2. #2
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    First, I see no reason to value a lack of confrontation. When things need to be called out, that's your job. You might have noticed that I do this regularly.

    But, don't hit people. It's seldom productive. Hit the heavy bag instead, and pretend it's people. Somebody hits you first, ignore this advice.

  3. #3
    Ray Gillenwater's Avatar
    Ray Gillenwater is offline Administrator, Starting Strength Gyms
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    Where do you live?

    Have you had your testosterone checked?

    Meditation and controlled physical aggression are great for dealing with this sort of thing. These are more "coping" mechanisms and the questions above are meant to help you determine the root cause.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Jdcuth View Post
    I hope this isn't too off topic but its something that I think people here will have valuable input in.

    I'm 43 M wife 2 kids work fairly long hours with moderate stress levels. Training going pretty well.

    However I am finding myself getting furious in certain situations recently. I just feel like the world is full of entitled inconsiderate assholes. No major instances recently but so many instances of having to bite my tongue to avoid a confrontation knowing that the red mist could descend and end up doing something regrettable risking job/livelihood etc.

    Have other people managed this? I'm not sure whether to go down the "burn off the aggression" route by adding some boxing/BJJ etc (I used to play rugby but not up to that after a patella tendon rupture) or do I need to go the opposite way with some mindfulness/yoga etc?

    I now avoid alcohol as that has never mixed well with my family.

    Does anyone have any suggestions?

    With many thanks
    Have you checked your T?

  5. #5
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jdcuth View Post
    I hope this isn't too off topic but its something that I think people here will have valuable input in.

    I'm 43 M wife 2 kids work fairly long hours with moderate stress levels. Training going pretty well.

    However I am finding myself getting furious in certain situations recently. I just feel like the world is full of entitled inconsiderate assholes. No major instances recently but so many instances of having to bite my tongue to avoid a confrontation knowing that the red mist could descend and end up doing something regrettable risking job/livelihood etc.

    Have other people managed this? I'm not sure whether to go down the "burn off the aggression" route by adding some boxing/BJJ etc (I used to play rugby but not up to that after a patella tendon rupture) or do I need to go the opposite way with some mindfulness/yoga etc?

    I now avoid alcohol as that has never mixed well with my family.

    Does anyone have any suggestions?

    With many thanks
    If you're into stand-up comedy, watch Bill Burr, he has worked through this with his stand-up through the years, and therapy. Rage has something to do with repressed feelings from the past that you have a hard time to acknowledge.

  6. #6
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    I'm just a guy with a family and job so absolutely no special training or knowledge.
    But....when I put the booze down years ago I found myself very angry.
    A term that I heard was "restless, irritable, and discontent".

    I had to learn to to practice acceptance. Ask/pray/meditate to be granted the serenity to accept the things you cannot change, the courage to change the things you can, and the wisdom to know the difference. it got better one day at a time.

  7. #7
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ray Gillenwater View Post
    Where do you live?

    Have you had your testosterone checked?

    Meditation and controlled physical aggression are great for dealing with this sort of thing. These are more "coping" mechanisms and the questions above are meant to help you determine the root cause.
    I live in the UK- not sure what things are like around the rest of the world but there is an absolute breakdown of society here with woke policing and schooling.

    Yes I have had a check of my testosterone as well as some other bloods Iím waiting on results.

    Looking at my question again I have realised that I donít need to commit exclusively to either strategy- maybe do some boxing or BJJ and some meditation they arenít mutually exclusive.

    Has anyone found this has happened as they got older? You always picture the angry young man mellowing but I think your eyes open more to the world as you get older and you become more aware of the idiocy that surrounds you.

    Thanks to you and coach Rip for taking time to answer

  8. #8
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    You'll probably get angrier when you go to a Dr and he agrees that you have low T but wont prescribe you any.

  9. #9
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jdcuth View Post
    I hope this isn't too off topic but its something that I think people here will have valuable input in.

    I'm 43 M wife 2 kids work fairly long hours with moderate stress levels. Training going pretty well.

    However I am finding myself getting furious in certain situations recently. I just feel like the world is full of entitled inconsiderate assholes. No major instances recently but so many instances of having to bite my tongue to avoid a confrontation knowing that the red mist could descend and end up doing something regrettable risking job/livelihood etc.

    Have other people managed this? I'm not sure whether to go down the "burn off the aggression" route by adding some boxing/BJJ etc (I used to play rugby but not up to that after a patella tendon rupture) or do I need to go the opposite way with some mindfulness/yoga etc?

    I now avoid alcohol as that has never mixed well with my family.

    Does anyone have any suggestions?

    With many thanks
    How are you sleeping? How far along are you in the program? For many people, poor recovery leads to a bit of irritability. Most of us train in order to be better at the things that are important to us outside of the gym. But if you aren't recovering, you wont make progress under the barbell and you will enjoy yourself less outside of the gym. Getting enough calories?

  10. #10
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    Quote Originally Posted by francesco.decaro View Post
    If you're into stand-up comedy, watch Bill Burr, he has worked through this with his stand-up through the years, and therapy. Rage has something to do with repressed feelings from the past that you have a hard time to acknowledge.
    It also has to do with the bullshit being continually thrown at us, that we are just supposed to deal with because we're expected to not be "assholes."

    Quote Originally Posted by Jdcuth View Post
    I live in the UK- not sure what things are like around the rest of the world but there is an absolute breakdown of society here with woke policing and schooling.

    Yes I have had a check of my testosterone as well as some other bloods Iím waiting on results.
    Low testosterone can cause this in some people.

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