I don't understand how sitting at a desk is hurting your recovery. If anything, this should be helping your recovery because it means you're not doing physical things, which would get in the way of recovery.
Your first post says you want to gain strength to help with your grappling game, but in the month since you've started, you've lost body weight and you've lost strength on your lifts. I'm not trying to be a dick, but you're definitely doing something wrong, and it goes beyond rusty technique or working longer hours than normal. Just eat more, deload the weights, and start a proper linear progression.
As far as your size and its impact on grappling is concerned, I'm not overestimating it's importance at all. But you won't realize this until you gain size.