Quest for Fire

[Erok]

You will need:
One Turkey (at least)
two lemons
one orange
one big onion
two heads garlic
bunch of carrots
bunch of celery
a few sprigs of rosemary
one bottle champagne (the cheap stuff)

1. Brine the turkey for a couple days. When it comes time, drain it, rinse it, dry it.

2. Line your turkey pan with enough foil to cover the whole shebang, top, bottom & sides.

3. Put down a layer of carrots, celery, onions, fruit, garlic & herbs, and put the bird on it. (I like it breast down, with the wings stretched down the back & tied to the tail - exxxtra crispy wings!)

4. Stuff the bird with the rest of the mix, and pour the whole bottle of champagne over everything. Cover with foil.

5. Bake at Tree-Fitty until it's about two-thirds done, then uncover it, baste, and let it brown. Optional: flip it over & baste so it browns all the sides.

6. Save all the juices, giblets, etc., plus the lovely garlic cloves & the smooshy carrots to make gravy (an immersion blender does the trick).

[Erok]

Sun., 11/30. 220#. WooHoo! Oh, such beer we had!

Squats: 45x..., 135 x 8, 225 x 10, 10, 10. Supersetted with pullovers. Feels damn good. And, I can still get my belt down to the 5th hole.

Bench: 45x..., 95 x 10, 5, 115 x 8, 135 x 5, 155 x 3, 175 x 3, 155 x 5,5,5. Supersetted with bench flyes for the stretch. Mmmm.

OHP: 45x..., 95 x 5,5, 100 x 10. I'm gonna call this Chest Day. I look great in suspenders right now.

We break from our holiday hibernation to go out to eat. I get Shepard's Pie, a Scotch Egg, and my last beer for a while.

[Oren]

I look great in suspenders right now.

Pics or gtfo .

[Erok]

Pics or gtfo .

The moment's gone, and I've lost all my pump! Hm. I'll have to get back to you.

[Erok]

Dayyum, I need to eat at your place

If you're ever in south-central Wisquatson, lemme know.

[Erok]

Tues., 12.02.

: ( Eh. I'm just not feeling it. Maybe I need another day off. I don't have the car tonight, and I have to walk the dog, and it's so cold outside (and we got a new Roku2, so I can watch as much PBS as I want).

: 0 No! You asshole! Today is your day! You planned this - it's already in your logbook! Walk to the freakin' gym after you walk the dog. You idiot.

: ( Well, that was a good dog walk. It's not even that cold out. Don't know if I'm up to it, though. My knees feel stiff.

: 0 Shut up! You've had your afternoon coffee, and your stanknasty protein/creatine snack, and your vitamin C. Just shut up and go to the gym.

: ( Well, it's still early, and I'm not that hungry. Guess I could go to the gym and see what's happening.

: 0 Yes! Thank you. Let's go. Yes, you can wear your new sweatpants. Yes, you have your keys and your water bottle. Now, let's go.

218.5# : ( Oh, man, I'm such a fatass. I should get on that Airdyne. Why is it when the gym is crowded, there's always a platform free, but when there's only 6 people here, they're ALL on the platforms? Maybe I'll just wander around a bit and try some chinups, then maybe some rowing.

: 0 Oh, I should slap you! Stay focused! That girl said she only has two sets left. Put a plate on the Wrist Roller and do a couple. 25# x 2. There. Feels good, yes?

: ( Alright. Forearms are a little burny. I'm just gonna go through the motions, do the warmups, and see how far I make it.

Deadlifts: 135 x 8, 8. Sip some water, change the plates, pace a bit, squat and watch the clock. 245 x 5. Hmm, feeling okay. Water, plates, squat, pace, clock. 5 minutes. 355 x 3. Damn, my thumbs hurt. The chalk is making my hands all dry & crackly. The music sucks tonight. My shoulder aches. Is my back fatigued already? I should just call it. I'm supposed to be doing more cardio, anyway.

: 0 SHahht Ahhp! Stay your ass on that platform! If you can make it through warmups, you can do a workset. Your back is fine. Besides, everyone's looking at you.

: ( What? Who's looking at me? I don't see anyone looking.

: 0 Of course you don't see it - they're better at it than you. They got the shifty gym eyes. Trust me, though: everyone's checking you out. That spandex yoga girl in front of the mirror, that powerlifter squatting your 1RM DL for reps, and those sleeveless shirt bros benching over there...

: ( They are not.

: 0 Oh, yes they are. They all want to see the old fat guy fail.

: ( No, they don't! Nobody cares what I do.

: 0 They want to see you fold up like a wet blanket.

: ( Shut up!

: 0 They're all NASCAR fans, man. They came here for blood. They want entertainment. They want to see you snap in half and watch you drag yourself out in shame while they taunt you with box jumps.

: ( Oh, those fucking box jumps - that shit just pisses me off. Why does he have to do that in the squat rack, anyway? Well, it's not gonna happen. I'm killing this!

: 0 Oh, yeah?

: ( Yeah! I'm lifting this shit! I'm gonna toss it up in the air like a pizza crust! Then, I'm gonna do a handstand and catch it with my balls! I'm gonna put it on my head like a hat, and do a little dance while I sing like Carmen Fucking Miranda! They want entertainment? I AM entertainment! They want blood? IT WILL BE THEIRS!

: 0 Really? Let's see this.

415 x 3. : ) There! I did it! Only rounded my back a little on that last one, but all the lockouts were solid, and I held that last one for like a full minute!

: 0 Great. Congrats, man. It was actually about 3 seconds.

: ) Sweet! It felt so awesome! Who saw that?

: 0 Nobody. C'mon, nobody wants to watch you embarrass yourself, you idiot. Now go punish yourself for your hesitation.

: ) Okay!

Chins/Dips/Wrist Rollers: 4/6/35#x2, 3/6/2, 3/6/2, 1.8/5/4, 0.8/-/-, 0.9/-/-.


TL; DR: And that, kids, is how I met your mother.

Home for Turkey Saag, and a sperm whale autopsy on PBS! Sperm whales RULE.

[Erok]

Thurs., 12/04. 214.75#. This is a source of great amusement for me.

Squat: 45x..., 135 x 5, 185 x 1, 225 x 3, 275 x 2, 315 x 1, 335 x 1,1,1,1,1. 4-5 min rest between reps. Trying not to kill myself, as this is supposed to be a light day, after all. R knee wanted to cave a bit on reps 3&4, but I nailed #5. Pro tip: get that belt as tight as you can stand it, then go one more notch. Feeel the belly button.

Bench: 45x..., 95 x 5, 135 x 5,5,15. Reppin' out. With 135. NFL, here I come.

Belted DL setup: probably about time I try this again. It really fucks with me. The stomach folds up under the belt when I bend down to grip. Extending the spine puts my hips way farther down, and knees stick out into my elbows. If I spin the belt around with the buckle in back, it helps a bit. Struggling to breathe as deep as I usually do. a Full-on valsalva gets me all light headed & giggly, and I turn beet red just pulling 135. Bakc is supr thigt, tho.

So, this is all normal, right? Great.



Turkey Pizza is a thing. The layers are as shown, top to bottom:

cheese - mozz, provolone, cheddar, maybe a bit of blue
finely minced fresh rosemary
diced turkey, dark meat, at least a half-pound.
cranberry sauce
crust - try cornbread, or flatbread, whatever you want. Thinner, the better.

Bake at 400 or so till done, then drizzle with olive oil or melt butter on it.

[Dahavol]

Great lifting. Awesome deadlifts, though I may have to avoid your log until I can get back to freedom. Your food descriptions are almost too much to take here in the land of crappy cafeteria fare.

[Erok]

Great lifting. Awesome deadlifts, though I may have to avoid your log until I can get back to freedom. Your food descriptions are almost too much to take here in the land of crappy cafeteria fare.

ooo, yikes. sorry about that. I feel ya, bro.
Can't you make nice with the local Bedouins and get a seethed lamb feast going, a la The Seven Pillars of Wisdom?

[Dahavol]

ooo, yikes. sorry about that. I feel ya, bro.
Can't you make nice with the local Bedouins and get a seethed lamb feast going, a la The Seven Pillars of Wisdom?

I have sampled some decent local fare, though they have no appreciation for a good pork shoulder. Heathens!