Joined a new gym last night. Hilarious

[Músculo-Tonto]

They're all kind of haggard, but one in particular just irks me to no end wearing his wife beater and sweatpants (don't know why that bothers me so much).

I agree. I find men who wear sweatpants offensive as well.
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My lifelong goal is to reach similar numbers. I bet my squat and dead will get there some day, but I don't think I'm genetically equipped to bench that heavy.

My lifelong goal is beat Dastardly's post-count, but I don't think I'm genetically equipped to talk that heavy.
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=WorkoutNick;818386
Anyway... three college guys have been coming to the gym lately.

They mostly just fuck around. Today they were doing barbell shoulder presses, but for some reason, they decided to set the power rack hooks at about eye level. So when Wife Beater tried to go AMRAP with 95 lbs, he couldn't actually rack the bar. Instead of helping, his friends laughed at him. The best part? Instead of simply lowering the bar like you would after a clean, he decided to sit down on the ground and the bar eventually reached the safeties, which were set on the lowest level. He laid there for 2 minutes like he'd just run a marathon while the two other guys team lifted the bar back in the hooks.

Sounds like a "bro" rotation that's been regular at my gym for the past 2 months. The "leader", and 2 regulars with him (although lately it's been 3), who more or less load plates on his machines, while they get instructed as they do their "workout" in between. About a month/half ago, they left 9 plates/side on the leg-press, and left the gym floor (fake R.O.M., in case you're wondering). After about a minute, a went to the lobby, and nonchalantly asked the three of them if they were done. After the leader said yes, I changed my tone of voice and said "Then take your shit off your machine", at which they just stared with their mouths hanging open. I turned around, and went back to the lifting area.

Flash-forward to holidays, short gym hours. The four of them are on the bench press, rotating, and it's set, after set, after set, after. . .
Anyways, they finally get out of there. The whole time leader dude is giving training advice. These dumb-asses are just pissing me off to no end. So my training partner sets up one of those padded chairs for me with the back facing the wall. So I'm looking out over the gym, because by this time the four of them are fucking around on the cable machine, in awe of their leader. So I just turn my head to the side, to look at the other wall of mirrors, cup my own right tit, and say quite audibly: "Have you ever got such a great pump from a set, that you had to grab your own boobs? It feels sooooooooooo gooooodddddd!" Needless to say, the blank look on their face, while my partner was trying not a laugh, kind of calmed my urge to start breaking stuff.

M-T

[Charlie Davies]

During my volume squats yesterday there were these two young guys near my station. They obviously knew nothing about weight training.

They were doing various bodyweight exercises of their own invention that involved climbing on top of things and jumping off, knocking each other down and generally running and yelling a lot. And for some reason (they claimed it was to reduce weight) they both had stripped to their underpants. Batman for one of them, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles for the other.

Finally, it got too much for me and I yelled for them to go play upstairs in the living room until I was done lifting. And for Gods sake, to put on some damn clothes, what will the neighbors think?

[cutlet#]

During my volume squats yesterday there were these two young guys near my station. They obviously knew nothing about weight training.

They were doing various bodyweight exercises of their own invention that involved climbing on top of things and jumping off, knocking each other down and generally running and yelling a lot. And for some reason (they claimed it was to reduce weight) they both had stripped to their underpants. Batman for one of them, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles for the other.

Finally, it got too much for me and I yelled for them to go play upstairs in the living room until I was done lifting. And for Gods sake, to put on some damn clothes, what will the neighbors think?

You had me going there. Thinking "what kind of gym is this..."

[Kyle Schuant]

We have a sign up in the gym cafe warning about a beehive.
"Did the gardener bring one, or is it local?"
"No it's a wild beehive. Last week during the heatwave the wax melted dripping down onto the grass and the bees were angry."
Angry bees is something I never expected to have to worry about at a gym.

[Corrie]

You had me going there. Thinking "what kind of gym is this..."

The sad thing is that I honestly didn't clue in that it was a joke post even after the batman underwear part. I thought "that's odd, but I can totally see this happening".

[Charlie Davies]

You can build awesome play forts in the basement with a pair of hand-me-down mattresses, especially if you steal all the couch cushions from upstairs. You can knock them down on your brother too. And jump onto them from a great height up the basement staircase.

[Charlie Davies]

The sad thing is that I honestly didn't clue in that it was a joke post even after the batman underwear part. I thought "that's odd, but I can totally see this happening".

It was all true. They are 7 and 5, I'm hoping they will exercise with their clothes on when they are older. Or maybe they do crossfit, where stripping down to underwear during a workout is normal.

[Adam Skillin]

crossfit, where stripping down to underwear during a workout is normal.

I forget, is that part of Fran or Cindy?

[Dastardly]

While I was packing away after deadlifting, some guy comes and asks "are you done with the axle?"

I was baffled but it slowly clicked he was talking about the bar. Yes just a normal barbell.

[yam]

Briilliant! Haahahahahaah