Joined a new gym last night. Hilarious

[paterfamilias]

I received the following in an email this morning, addressed to all of the members of the Fitness Center (the gym at work).



People are fucking scumbags. There are water fountains in the building, just not in the gym. Bros gotta walk out of the fitness center & down the hall.

I'll be in there this afternoon. I'm looking forward to bogarting all the 45lb plates to deadlift.

The utilization of 'utilize' stood out to me as much as the content. There is a trend in business communication among those for whom replacing 'use' with 'utilize' isn't stilted, awkward or unclear enough. They take things to the next level by replacing the awful 'utilize' with the transcendentally ridiculous 'leverage.' Not ironically. As in:
"I leveraged Excel to facilitate this chart."
All I could think of while reading your post was, " should have used 'leverage a cup'."
OK, I'm done.

[Simon Rest]

The utilization of 'utilize' stood out to me as much as the content. There is a trend in business communication among those for whom replacing 'use' with 'utilize' isn't stilted, awkward or unclear enough. They take things to the next level by replacing the awful 'utilize' with the transcendentally ridiculous 'leverage.' Not ironically. As in:
"I leveraged Excel to facilitate this chart."
All I could think of while reading your post was, " should have used 'leverage a cup'."
OK, I'm done.

You should leverage your rage into a memorandum that management can utilize to facilitate better staff implementation. Proactively

[ecj]

You should leverage your rage into a memorandum that management can utilize to facilitate better staff implementation. Proactively

I agree, and often find that it's important to really drill down on these topics and bust some silos, allowing us to think outside of our current paradigm and seek proactive solutions to leveraging our people-assets for greater productivity.

[Chebass88]

The utilization of 'utilize' stood out to me as much as the content. There is a trend in business communication among those for whom replacing 'use' with 'utilize' isn't stilted, awkward or unclear enough. They take things to the next level by replacing the awful 'utilize' with the transcendentally ridiculous 'leverage.' Not ironically. As in:
"I leveraged Excel to facilitate this chart."
All I could think of while reading your post was, " should have used 'leverage a cup'."
OK, I'm done.

You forgot to include "at the end of the day".

[Chebass88]

I agree, and often find that it's important to really drill down on these topics and bust some silos, allowing us to think outside of our current paradigm and seek proactive solutions to leveraging our people-assets for greater productivity.

Are you in management? This would look great on a powerpoint.

[Corrie]

Are you in management? This would look great on a powerpoint.

We should circle back and re-assess the downstream consequences of a high level presentation of that magnitude. Also six sigma.

[cutlet#]

We should circle back and re-assess the downstream consequences of a high level presentation of that magnitude. Also six sigma.

That sounds great, Corrie. I'll have my secretary follow up with some action items.

[paterfamilias]

I agree, and often find that it's important to really drill down on these topics and bust some silos, allowing us to think outside of our current paradigm and seek proactive solutions to leveraging our people-assets for greater productivity.

Your use of "drill down" and "silo" make me think you know the meaning of "Business Intelligence."

[paterfamilias]

That sounds great, Corrie. I'll have my secretary follow up with some action items.

I'll get my folks efforting on that.

[ecj]

Your use of "drill down" and "silo" make me think you know the meaning of "Business Intelligence."

It means that I know the meaning of despair.