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Thread: Joined a new gym last night. Hilarious

  1. #14601
    Join Date
    Jan 2014
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    Quote Originally Posted by Kundahli View Post
    Post Easter Break newbs.... Easter break for uni students signals the end of the "winter bulking phase" and the start of the "summer cutting phase". Time to get ready for "ze beesh"



    Dude, I always invite people to work in with me and they always stare at me wide-eyed. Our gym is separated into what I call The Bodybuilding area, a larger room with dumbells, cable shit, and a ton of benches for every kind of press, and the Powerlifting Room with 3 squat racks w/platforms and a pull up bar, nothing more. Anyway, sometimes some of the bodybuilder residents pop in to the powerlifting section and look around. If I am in between sets and notice them standing there liking assholes without a decline bench to rest on, I go over and kindly ask if they want to work in with me or what not. Now, I'm not a big guy and I'm not very strong (yet!) so there really is nothing to be afraid of yet these dudes just look at me like I'm fucking crazy and decline the offer. On my way out I invariably see them doing something like a squat in the smith machine back in the bodybuilding room.

    I don't know why they don't want to learn. I wish when I was younger that someone stronger or more knowledgable than me would have taken me under their wing even if just for a day.
    Some are truly ignorant, and some just make excuses for their weakness.
    It's like when 'men' say "oh, I don't want to get too big" as an excuse not to LIFT heavy or hard!
    Or the fellow gym member who has limited weight doing quarter squats, saying anything more is bad for the knees.

  2. #14602
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    Quote Originally Posted by allent View Post
    That reminds me I need to get my copy of SS back from my friend who says he "Just wants to get toned."

    Oh, man. Roll it up and beat him with it!

  3. #14603
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    Quote Originally Posted by allent View Post
    That reminds me I need to get my copy of SS back from my friend who says he "Just wants to get toned."
    The first thing your friend is going to do is post in a BB.com forum that SS sucks.

    It will not matter that he did not read the book nor follow the program. He 'ran SS' for 3 weeks and his toning did not improve.

  4. #14604
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    Quote Originally Posted by aurelius View Post
    The first thing your friend is going to do is post in a BB.com forum that SS sucks.

    It will not matter that he did not read the book nor follow the program. He 'ran SS' for 3 weeks and his toning did not improve.
    Perhaps we should all kick in a buy his friend a tuning fork. Surely that will improve his tone.

  5. #14605
    Join Date
    Dec 2012
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    Boston, MA
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    Win for me today at the gym...

    I walk in and all the racks are taken. I see a not-too-scrawny young chap deadlifting on a platform in front of, and connected to, one of racks, indicating that his rack may NOT in fact be being used. I inquire about the rack's status:

    KUNDAHLI: "Good day, sir. Perchance are you making use of that rack behind you?"
    FUCKSTICK: "Indeed I am."

    Fuckstick continues to deadlift and, after the final rep, walk the 120kg loaded bar forward two steps to place on the pins. He then proceeds to unload the weights from the elevated bar, load more on, pick the beast up, step back two paces, and perform another set. This pattern continues for some time.

    KUNDAHLI: (to himself) "By God, what in the seven hells is going on here. This fucker does not need the rack for what he is doing. This is truly a pet peeve of mine."

    Kundahli steps back and continues his warm-up without a rack, patiently waiting for one to open up. After some time the rack next to the one Fuckstick is making "use" of opens up. Kundahli begins his workout. In between sets Kundahli glances over at Fuckstick. His interest is piqued after noticing that Fuckstick is performing standing press, a rare movement in most YMCA's. Kundahli decides to investigate.

    KUNDAHLI: "Good Sir, are you following a program of sorts. I've noticed you are performing many of the same movements I am. Perhaps we are following the same routine?"
    FUCKSTICK: "Yes and No. I was doing 5/3/1 but now I am a bit lost. My lifts stalled ages ago and I have been messing about ever since"
    KUNDAHLI: "Hmmm, this is most disconcerting. We shan't let your efforts go to waste! Have you heard of the book Starting Strength"
    FUCKSTICK: "Indeed, I have. Is the program any good?"
    KUNDAHLI: "Good? By God, good sir, dare I say it is great!"
    FUCKSTICK: "Do go on."

    Kundahli goes on to explain the Novice and Advanced Novice progressions outlined in the book. Using his own progress as an example, Kundahli describes just how well the program works. Fuckstick is clearly quite interested and thanks Kundahli for his insight. Kundahli continues lifting, but after his next set he is approached by Fuckstick.

    FRIEND (formerly "FUCKSTICK"): "Hey man, thanks for the advice. My name is Jeff. I'm certainly going to look into SS and Mark Rippetoe's writings"
    KUNDAHLI: "No problem at all, old chap. Hope to see you soon"

  6. #14606
    Join Date
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    Quote Originally Posted by King of the Jews View Post
    I'm confused...did you guys fuck? Is he dtf? A tease?????
    I don't kiss and tell :P

  7. #14607
    Join Date
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    Quote Originally Posted by Kundahli View Post
    I don't kiss and tell :P
    you fuck and brag, apparently

  8. #14608
    Join Date
    Mar 2014
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    Saw a new one recently.

    Curl-bro wore a white hand towel over his head the entire time in the gym.
    (you could see his face but top, sides and back of his head were covered)

    is this a new trend? or just an odd data point?

  9. #14609
    Brodie Butland is offline Starting Strength Coach
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    Quote Originally Posted by Rook View Post
    Saw a new one recently.

    Curl-bro wore a white hand towel over his head the entire time in the gym.
    (you could see his face but top, sides and back of his head were covered)

    is this a new trend? or just an odd data point?
    Peter O'Toole fan in mourning?

  10. #14610
    Join Date
    Sep 2011
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    starting strength coach development program
    Quote Originally Posted by Kundahli View Post
    Win for me today at the gym...

    I walk in and all the racks are taken. I see a not-too-scrawny young chap deadlifting on a platform in front of, and connected to, one of racks, indicating that his rack may NOT in fact be being used. I inquire about the rack's status:

    KUNDAHLI: "Good day, sir. Perchance are you making use of that rack behind you?"
    FUCKSTICK: "Indeed I am."

    Fuckstick continues to deadlift and, after the final rep, walk the 120kg loaded bar forward two steps to place on the pins. He then proceeds to unload the weights from the elevated bar, load more on, pick the beast up, step back two paces, and perform another set. This pattern continues for some time.

    KUNDAHLI: (to himself) "By God, what in the seven hells is going on here. This fucker does not need the rack for what he is doing. This is truly a pet peeve of mine."

    Kundahli steps back and continues his warm-up without a rack, patiently waiting for one to open up. After some time the rack next to the one Fuckstick is making "use" of opens up. Kundahli begins his workout. In between sets Kundahli glances over at Fuckstick. His interest is piqued after noticing that Fuckstick is performing standing press, a rare movement in most YMCA's. Kundahli decides to investigate.

    KUNDAHLI: "Good Sir, are you following a program of sorts. I've noticed you are performing many of the same movements I am. Perhaps we are following the same routine?"
    FUCKSTICK: "Yes and No. I was doing 5/3/1 but now I am a bit lost. My lifts stalled ages ago and I have been messing about ever since"
    KUNDAHLI: "Hmmm, this is most disconcerting. We shan't let your efforts go to waste! Have you heard of the book Starting Strength"
    FUCKSTICK: "Indeed, I have. Is the program any good?"
    KUNDAHLI: "Good? By God, good sir, dare I say it is great!"
    FUCKSTICK: "Do go on."

    Kundahli goes on to explain the Novice and Advanced Novice progressions outlined in the book. Using his own progress as an example, Kundahli describes just how well the program works. Fuckstick is clearly quite interested and thanks Kundahli for his insight. Kundahli continues lifting, but after his next set he is approached by Fuckstick.

    FRIEND (formerly "FUCKSTICK"): "Hey man, thanks for the advice. My name is Jeff. I'm certainly going to look into SS and Mark Rippetoe's writings"
    KUNDAHLI: "No problem at all, old chap. Hope to see you soon"
    This is the best piece of mildly homoerotic medieval literature I have ever read.

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