Joined a new gym last night. Hilarious

[Mark E. Hurling]

Found on the stall wall of my high school's boy's room in 1966.

Here I sit,
Broken hearted.
Came to shit,
And I only farted.

Burma Shave

[cutlet#]

Found on the stall wall of my high school's boy's room in 1966.

Here I sit,
Broken hearted.
Came to shit,
And I only farted.

Burma Shave

It's missing the second verse:

Later on
I took a chance
Tried to fart
But shit my pants

[Mark E. Hurling]

That must be something you Michiganders added.

Us downstate Illinois folks kept things short and sweet.

[ColoWayno]

sweet.

Ha

[Bill Been]

Just finished my session at the only hotel gym I'm aware of in my airline's sphere that has a rack and plates. My hat is off to you poor dumb bastards that have to train in places like this. It's a local commercial gym that's set up in the basement of a Crowne Plaza. I'm grateful because there's normally two hamster wheels, two elliptical hamster wheels, a few medicine balls, and dumbbells all the way up to 35lbs or so, making it futile. Anyhow, the single rack was one of those slanted jobbies with the earlobes instead of hooks. That made it surprisingly difficult to re-rack my squats, but I managed. It faced a wall of mirrors of course, which was avoidable looking down while squatting, but freaking awful for pressing. I sinned and walked the second and third sets out forward, re-racking them with a step backward which was also weird and less safe than necessary. Oh, and the safeties on the rack were only about ten inches long and made even more unusable by the very bottom lobe of the rack protruding on them. Luckily, it was light squat day, so no drama. There was also a nice level change in the mats just where you walk out a squat. The good news was they had 2.5lbs plates, allowing me to put the programmed weight on the bar for the presses. Now for deadlifts. I had no appreciation for how bad hex plates actually suck for pulls. Coupled with a complete lack of chalk and no knurling to speak of remaining on the best bar in the place and hanging on to my work set was way harder than necessary. I had all the real equipment to myself as the local gentry got about the business of wandering aimlessly from machine to machine. A few of this; a few of that; couple of those; stretch randomly. I really want to emulate Sully and help these older folks quit wasting their time. I know less than a quarter of them likely have the gumption to do hard, effective training. But some of them simply don't know any better and if I could reach just a few it would be worthwhile.

Again - respect to those of you who persevere through this and much worse training environments.

[cutlet#]

That must be something you Michiganders added.

Us downstate Illinois folks kept things short and sweet.

TIL Illinois weirdos like to leave off the punchline.

[Mark E. Hurling]

TIL Illinois weirdos like to leave off the punchline.

Illinois weirdos end at the Crook County line. Those fuckers taint the rest of the state with a bad name. allent can confirm this. Bastards.

Not unlike PM Lord Palmerston's famous line about "Wogs begin at the Channel!"

[Mark E. Hurling]

Oh, yeah. Forgot.

What happens in Chicago stays in Chicago. Or you might end up sleeping with the fishes.

[cutlet#]

Last thing that happened to me in Chicago was a pastrami sandwich at Manny's. It didn't stay in Chicago.

[Sean Herbison]

I should have yelled loudly with every rep, THEN people would think I was cool.

I can't speak for anyone else, but that's why I do it.