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Thread: Joined a new gym last night. Hilarious

  1. #981
    Join Date
    Jun 2010
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    Pooptown, GE
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    Default My fun with Crossfitters

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    So last week I go to the gym that I can get to once a week and I go over to the squat rack. It is all the way through the gym so I have to walk through everything that is going on and see what I can see. On my way over I see three guys doing crossfit stuff. Ok, I don't like it but whatever, to each their own. There is a short chubby guy working out with a pretty cut guy and then an old dude with no shoes, just socks. The guy that is cut and holding a stop watch and taking video of the chubby dude with his Iphone. This is important, remember this part.

    So I finally make it to the squat rack and some asshole left 225 on it. It must have been a tall guy because I am 5'11" and the bar was racked at at or about shoulder height for me. So I look around, wait a little bit, and no one is coming near it, so I am like "fuck it" and take all the weight off. I get the last plate off and put it back on the weight tree and start adjusting my grip and getting ready to warm up, and the chubby guy comes over and says, "hey man, I'm gonna use that after you."

    "ok, but I am going to be a while," i replied.

    His only response was "fuck"

    Enter the cut guy with his crossfit shirt and his stop watch. He no shit rushes over, points at me, and says, "no, here is what is going to happen, He is going to go after your done with your first set."

    I started laughing, "no he isn't, this is my squat rack now."

    He says something to the effect of they were using it and this and that and we argue back and forth for a minute. He then tells me that if I have a problem with it I can put my shoes back on and we can go talk to the manager and she will tell me to let him use the squat rack. I told him that if he was going to tell me to put my shoes on then he needed to tell his buddy to put HIS shoes on (remember from earlier).

    This is when he brough rank into the situation. Now I am air force and I am on a navy base. He tells me that he doesn't get to tell the shoe-less guy what to do because he is a chief. I started laugh again and tell him, you don't know who I am and you don't get to tell me what to do either.

    Now he is really starting to cut into my lifting time, so I am like "look, if you apologize for being such a dick and ask me nicely to use my squat rack then I will let you use it." It was so important because chubs needed to do his "last set of 20 reps at 225lbs and then he's done". So I got back to trying to get warmed up and he stands there all pissed and trying to be scary.

    Finally he says, "look man, i'm sorry for coming at you like this but it would be great if we could just use the rack and get this last set out of the way."

    So I said, as nice as I possibly could, "sure man, its my pleasure, I'll even help you put the weight back on."

    So chubs gets under the bar, remember how I am 5'11"? well, chubs is a short 5'8" if he is lucky, and the bar, I hadn't adjusted it yet cuz I never got the chance. So tubby gets under the bar, loaded at 225lbs, and does a calf raise and staggers back. I am interested to see what happens next because everything Rip has taught me is that what happens next is goinig to be funny and maybe tragic. I am hoping for both.

    He begins his set of 20. They are the easiest squats I have ever seen, a quater squat was deeper than what he was doing, and all the while he is turning red and grunting and his buddy the whiner is over there, no shit, timing him with a stop watch and shouting "Encouragement" and filming with the Iphone. The guy gets to 12 and is gassed, he does some more pathetic bobs and hits 20. He goes to rack it, and is to tired to tippy toe all the way up to the pins, lol. And he hooks one side and then the bar starts to go sideways on him. Does his Iphone recording, crossfitting lifting partner help him? Nope, he just keeps telling him stuff like "good job" and "you got this".
    I was like "wtf". Chubbs unhooks the left side, staggers back, and gives it another try, misses it again. I can't help but feel bad for the little guy so I told his buddy, who was still not trying to help him, "dude, get the other side man, shit." and helped the little fella rack what had to have been a great accomplishment.

    What a great way to start a workout right?

  2. #982
    Join Date
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    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Paul Sousa View Post
    I would be pissed and confused if I went to use a bar and it was covered in Jergens.
    Most epic quote ever.

  3. #983
    Join Date
    Jun 2009
    Location
    Chicago, IL
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    Default

    How to get swole

    1: Go into the power cage and remove all the safety pins
    2: Load a barbell with 135
    3: Do a set of 10 deadlifts with a super wide stance along with a super wide grip inside the cage.
    4: Repeat for 20 minutes.

  4. #984
    Join Date
    Dec 2009
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    20

    Default

    Okay, my gym is typically pretty decent about stuff. We have one platform and one squat rack. Neither get used too often for their intend purposes, but I typically don't have a hard time getting them. So the other night I go in and the gym is pretty dead, it is about 30 minutes before close, but I have a key so I can stay till my workout is finished. I'm doing my warm up and see a HUGE guy, probably about 6'3" 375lbs and obese alternating between sets of benching 135 and then moving over to lay on the only lifting platform to do from what I can tell 50 rep sets of crunches.

    My first lift that day is supposed to be power cleans, so after I'm done with my warm up the guy is laying on the bench and I set up on the platform. He then proceeds to lay RIGHT next to the platform and start doing his crunches again. I find this kind of annoying, since I personally would not feel comfortable laying next to the platform while someone was lifting, but I figured whatever and started lifting. I then hear him say something (got my headphones in) and have to ask again. He says "If you hit me with those weights we WILL have a problem." I then say, "Perhaps you can do your crunches a little farther away." There was tons of empty floorspace nearby. He then gets really mad and says "We WILL have a problem if you hit me with those weights. I was using that (platform) and you didn't ask me!" I then, I thought quite reasonably said, "This is a lifting platform, for lifting weights, I can only do this exercise here and you can do crunches anywhere." This really set him off and he stood up and got uncomfortably close to me. At this point I realize he is bigger than a thought he was, quite a bit larger than me and even though he was fat I could tell at least at some point he probably had a lot of muscle mass. He then proceeds to tell me about how I may just see a fat guy but he used to be a powerlifter and all strong and shit and the only reason he is so fat is because he couldn't walk for 3 years. I figured it was in my best interest to diffuse the situation and apologized and we introduced ourselves to each other. In the end it was probably a dick move on my part to just start using the platform without asking (even though he was rotating), but I'm like a lot of you guys and don't like seeing shit being used for unintended purposes. Anyway, that was the first drama I've had at this gym, and hopefully the last.
    Last edited by cavscout; 07-15-2010 at 02:47 AM.

  5. #985
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    Default

    i would have told him to go and fuck himself. If he was really a powerlifter he should know better.

  6. #986
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    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Gottatri2lift View Post
    Maybe at your gym. This comes off as ignorant and bias/stereotypical. Who cares what race or color you are. Black white asian - why not stay with the color theme and use black, white and yellow? To make a broad generalization about lifting styles and routines by different races/colors b/c of one gym setting in a certain part of the country, most likely appealing to a certain socioeconomic demographic, is just as bad as studies that explain that squatting is bad. Using a small small slice of a population, and then extrapolating to the whole.

    I would reason that as a fan of Mark Rippetoe's style and books, and a senior member of this board would know better. Really a bad representation of yourself and this forum.

    To posit that most blacks and yellows lift the core movements as opposed to whites b/c x, y and z would be a different beast, though incendiary and impossible to prove. Rip did discuss this in regards to the lifting abilities of different races and origins in his Q&A section.
    I know this is old, but I had some time on my hands today so i am reading the whole thread.

    When you really stop and think about it, he is right...........

    Is it acceptable to poke the bear? lol

  7. #987
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    Quote Originally Posted by drewcarroll2 View Post
    I know this is old, but I had some time on my hands today so i am reading the whole thread.

    When you really stop and think about it, he is right...........

    Is it acceptable to poke the bear? lol
    What kind of bear uses the lifting platform to do crunches? A stupid one, probably. But either way, it's always nice to ask to use stuff, even if it's being used for stupid purposes.

  8. #988
    Join Date
    May 2010
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    Southern Wis
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    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by gamedog View Post
    The only hip-hop I wanna hear is:

    - A Tribe Called Quest
    - Giant panda
    - Mos Def and/or Black Jack Johnson
    - De La Soul
    - KRS One
    - Beastie Boys
    - RUN DMC
    - Sugarhill Gang

    ... and the like. And I want 1000+ watts behind it. Not on cell phones.
    Quote Originally Posted by Santisua View Post
    How about some Q-tip and Wu-tang? Method man and Redman are pretty sweet as well by themselves. As are Pharcyde and Alchemist/Evidence.
    I just realized that I have passed a milestone, crossed a bridge, endured a life moment; I have never heard of these groups and generally consider hip hop as nothing but noise. I have turned into my grandparents. I am firmly, permanently fixed in “get off my lawn” mode.

  9. #989
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    Feb 2010
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    St. Thomas, Ontario
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    I'm shocked that you've heard of NONE of these people. Some of them have played on rock and pop stations, been in movies, etc.

  10. #990
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