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Thread: Joined a new gym last night. Hilarious

  1. #24111
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    Sep 2014
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    Chandler, AZ
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    • starting strength seminar april 2024
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    Interesting day at the gym.

    1) Man and I assume wife, 40-ish, doing an apparently Crossfit inspired exercise routine. I was warming up for my squats in the 185-235 range, he was doing goblet squats with a 35-lb dumbbell not 6 feet away from my rack. While he was resting between sets, he said something I couldn't quite make out, she said, "Well, squats are hard."

    2) The two No Gainz bros came by again, still the same size and lifting the same weights they started with a year or so ago. Flat dumbbell press with maybe 55-lb dumbbells. Now, the way I undestand it, dumbbell bench presses are good because you can have an increased range of motion compared to a barbell and the individual dumbbells are less stable and take more muscle mass to move around. These guys don't take advantage of either of these differences. Less ROM than a barbell and one bro supports the elbows of the one doing the lifting

    3) The dumbass texting while changing plates for his next squat warmup, forgot to put the 25 on both sides, had quite the surprise when unracking the very unevenly weighted bar. That dumbass was, of course, me.

    4) Yoga pants chick in the Smith machine, on her knees, one of those wide elastic bands around thighs, bar on shoulders, lowers butt to ankles. It always amazes me how much effort people put into coming up with inferior/inefficient/useless methods of getting stronger. Just squat, for goodness' sake!

  2. #24112
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    This is awesome. Trainer having client overhead (push) press with 10 lb kettlebells hanging from the ends of the bar on long elastic bands.

    You know what else is hard and promotes balance, coach? Heavy weights on the bar.

  3. #24113
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    Quote Originally Posted by RJPinAZ View Post
    This is awesome. Trainer having client overhead (push) press with 10 lb kettlebells hanging from the ends of the bar on long elastic bands.

    You know what else is hard and promotes balance, coach? Heavy weights on the bar.
    Hi, my name is RJP, and I'm over-judgemental. Please help me stop.

  4. #24114
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    Apr 2018
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    Quote Originally Posted by RJPinAZ View Post
    Hi, my name is RJP, and I'm over-judgemental. Please help me stop.
    Sounds pretty funny to me. Did they manage to finish without smashing into anything?

  5. #24115
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    Jun 2019
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    Quote Originally Posted by RJPinAZ View Post
    This is awesome. Trainer having client overhead (push) press with 10 lb kettlebells hanging from the ends of the bar on long elastic bands.

    You know what else is hard and promotes balance, coach? Heavy weights on the bar.
    One of the trainers at my globogym would do similar for himself, except squatting.

    He's not a trainer there anymore, instead replaced by someone who now insists of having every single one of their clients stay away from the squat racks (fine with me) and sidestep around the gym with a band holding their knees together.

    Every time I need to start my warmups for my power clean sets, why in the world do I need to go to the Smith machine to find the 10lb training plates?

    And before someone says that I just need to start my warmups at 135lbs — no. And I have learned the hard way to not start my power clean warmups with an empty bar. The chin and teeth get more involved than they need to be.

  6. #24116
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    Jun 2018
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    Toronto, ON, CA
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    Saw the single greatest incident of gym fuckery I've ever witnessed in person yesterday. Was looking for a flat bench to use, and they were all occupied, one with the most batshit crazy assortment of plates I've ever seen. Some clown had each side of the bar loaded with a 45, five 10s (!!!), two 5s, and then a 25 on the outside. At first there was nobody around it, but about 5 minutes later a guy comes back and gets ready to "bench". He was a pretty big dude probably in his 40s, but looked like a lot more fat than muscle. I was skeptical that he was going to handle what I had since figured out was 305. Sure enough, he unracks it and hits a triple with a ROM that consisted of only the slightest unlocking of his elbows. We're talking maybe 3" here. He then removed the 25s and sat around for so long that I finished on the incline and didn't get to see what he did from there.

    Between the crazy ass loading, 3" ROM, and mirror flexing it's like this guy was on a mission to be a gym fuckery meme, and it took every ounce of self restraint I could muster to resist making his dream come true.

  7. #24117
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    Jul 2017
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    What is the fascination with upright rows in the smith machine?

  8. #24118
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    Oct 2019
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    Wenatchee, Washington
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    Walked into the hotel gym and saw two guys "deadlifting" with a bar attached to the crossover cable machine, to their credit it was the only form of weight in the "fitness room." I left immeadiately and sought shelter in the local LAFitness, where to my delight the squat racks must have been the center of some biological plague because no one would go near them. Once I entered the danger zone it seems I also was contaminated and therefore left alone.

  9. #24119
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    Ok, explain deficit RDLs to me.

  10. #24120
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    Feb 2019
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    starting strength coach development program
    Two gentlemen in polo shirts decide they will not wait for a vacant platform to deadlift, so they arrange the J-hooks in one of the power racks so that a loaded bar will 'float' just above the floor, thereby circumventing the gym's rule that all pulling from the floor must be done on platforms. They then position themselves so far behind the bar during their warm-ups that it travels on something resembling a 30-degree gradient from the J-hooks to their thighs. Once they are up to their top weight, one of them stands inches behind the other trying to persuade him that he has another rep in him, respite woeful rounding of backs and egregious ramping right from the first rep. During one particular set, one of the fellows misses the right J-hook on the way down, setting that end of the bar on the floor. His companion, still trying to extract more reps from him through sheer force of persuasion, then says 'Come on. I've never done a wonky one before, but let's do it.' After some horrendous twisting worthy of a workplace safety video accompanied by a complete lack of movement in the bar, the buddy reluctantly walks around to the end of the bar and places it back on the J-hook.

    The rest of the gym members, mostly competent lifters, look on in amazement whilst the front desk does nothing.

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