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Thread: Joined a new gym last night. Hilarious

  1. #13601
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    Feb 2012
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    Greensburg, PA
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    • starting strength seminar april 2024
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    This looks like as good a place as any to vent. The stupid gym that was most convenient for a single, full time dad to lift at just informed me that the chalk that I had been using in a thoughtful and non-messy way for the past 8 months of my membership was not permitted as per the contract. This is, of course, contrary to the claims made by the salesdouche who told me this was "lifter's" gym (the fact that he needs to make this distinction is a testament to our sad times) and that chalk was permitted. Failure to abide by these this rule will result in me being reported to OM, whatever or whoever that is.

    The primary reason for this prohibition: it is unsanitary...because dry bars certainly contain far more bacteria than wet bars.

    I quit. Today. Fuckers.

    RugbySmartarse, tell me more about the snakelike Filipino.

  2. #13602
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    Nov 2012
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    You could use liquid chalk. If it's a convenient gym. Bum deal about the sales dueche

  3. #13603
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    Quote Originally Posted by Nicholas Racculia View Post
    This looks like as good a place as any to vent. The stupid gym that was most convenient for a single, full time dad to lift at just informed me that the chalk that I had been using in a thoughtful and non-messy way for the past 8 months of my membership was not permitted as per the contract. This is, of course, contrary to the claims made by the salesdouche who told me this was "lifter's" gym (the fact that he needs to make this distinction is a testament to our sad times) and that chalk was permitted. Failure to abide by these this rule will result in me being reported to OM, whatever or whoever that is.

    The primary reason for this prohibition: it is unsanitary...because dry bars certainly contain far more bacteria than wet bars.

    I quit. Today. Fuckers.

    RugbySmartarse, tell me more about the snakelike Filipino.
    Obviously- she had fangs and fed on mice. What else would you like to know?

  4. #13604
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    Jun 2013
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    Sydney, Australia
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    Quote Originally Posted by lewabbit View Post
    Obviously- she had fangs and fed on mice. What else would you like to know?
    If you saw her move, the fangs and mouse eating would not be an issue for most men

  5. #13605
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    And now I think of that scene from Dusk Till Dawn...


    On another note, since this is a "hilarious gym story thread," I did see a guy once benching with no spotter, collars firmly in place and, I kid you not, deadlift straps thoroughly wound around the bar (I guess just in case the collars were not enough to keep him from dumping the weight should it find itself smashing his chest). Curiosity overwhelmed my desire to see the weight crush him and I asked him "Why the DEADLIFT straps?" He responded that it helped him with his grip and enabled him to lift more weight and who was I to argue.

  6. #13606
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    Jul 2012
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    Quote Originally Posted by Nicholas Racculia View Post
    And now I think of that scene from Dusk Till Dawn...


    On another note, since this is a "hilarious gym story thread," I did see a guy once benching with no spotter, collars firmly in place and, I kid you not, deadlift straps thoroughly wound around the bar (I guess just in case the collars were not enough to keep him from dumping the weight should it find itself smashing his chest). Curiosity overwhelmed my desire to see the weight crush him and I asked him "Why the DEADLIFT straps?" He responded that it helped him with his grip and enabled him to lift more weight and who was I to argue.
    I have seen people do that, and have always wondered why. " they're just douches" appears to be an appropriate answer.

  7. #13607
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    Jul 2013
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    Quote Originally Posted by Nicholas Racculia View Post
    And now I think of that scene from Dusk Till Dawn...


    On another note, since this is a "hilarious gym story thread," I did see a guy once benching with no spotter, collars firmly in place and, I kid you not, deadlift straps thoroughly wound around the bar (I guess just in case the collars were not enough to keep him from dumping the weight should it find itself smashing his chest). Curiosity overwhelmed my desire to see the weight crush him and I asked him "Why the DEADLIFT straps?" He responded that it helped him with his grip and enabled him to lift more weight and who was I to argue.
    I've seen that at my gym, too (minus the collars). There must be some new bro lore going around about this.

  8. #13608
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    Dec 2012
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    Boston, MA
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    I thought most bros use suicide grip. I'd love to see some ass attempt that with straps

  9. #13609
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    Oct 2012
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    Quote Originally Posted by Nicholas Racculia View Post
    I did see a guy once benching with no spotter, collars firmly in place and, I kid you not, deadlift straps thoroughly wound around the bar (I guess just in case the collars were not enough to keep him from dumping the weight should it find itself smashing his chest). Curiosity overwhelmed my desire to see the weight crush him and I asked him "Why the DEADLIFT straps?" He responded that it helped him with his grip and enabled him to lift more weight and who was I to argue.
    I would have told you that I bench press with such awesome power that I was afraid the barbell might fly up and damage the ceiling.

  10. #13610
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    May 2012
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    starting strength coach development program
    I received the following in an email this morning, addressed to all of the members of the Fitness Center (the gym at work).

    It has been reported to the Board that someone was drinking directly out of one of the water dispensers in the Fitness Center. Please keep in mind that these are water dispensers and not water fountains. The water coolers are not made to drink directly from their dispensers. Please utilize a cup or water/sports bottle, which you fill from the water dispenser, to drink from. Remember that we are a self-run organization and we need to consider how our actions affect all members.
    People are fucking scumbags. There are water fountains in the building, just not in the gym. Bros gotta walk out of the fitness center & down the hall.

    I'll be in there this afternoon. I'm looking forward to bogarting all the 45lb plates to deadlift.

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