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Thread: Joined a new gym last night. Hilarious

  1. #14071
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    Jul 2012
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    • starting strength seminar april 2024
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    Quote Originally Posted by Dastardly View Post
    Keep an eye in the background.She was also squatting in MBT's
    This is internet gold.

    MBT means "masai barefoot technology" I.e. deliberately unstable round-bottom shoes? Maybe these are the best shoes for twerking/dry-humping in the squat rack.

  2. #14072
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    I asked a bro for a spot today. Told him I was going for 3, and wanted no help unless I completely failed. Bro seemed to understand.

    So I laid down and unracked the bar while bro offered no help. Rep one, bro keeps his hands out of the way. On rep two, the bar speed slows significantly, but bro keeps his hands out of the way. Rep three starts coming up and gets stuck about halfway up. Bro stays out of the way until the bar begins coming down, at which point bro steps in and lifts the bar onto the hooks.

    It was...unspeakably beautiful. Thanks bro.

  3. #14073
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    Quote Originally Posted by Root View Post
    I asked a bro for a spot today. Told him I was going for 3, and wanted no help unless I completely failed. Bro seemed to understand.

    So I laid down and unracked the bar while bro offered no help. Rep one, bro keeps his hands out of the way. On rep two, the bar speed slows significantly, but bro keeps his hands out of the way. Rep three starts coming up and gets stuck about halfway up. Bro stays out of the way until the bar begins coming down, at which point bro steps in and lifts the bar onto the hooks.

    It was...unspeakably beautiful. Thanks bro.
    10/10 wasnotexpecting

  4. #14074
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    Skinny guy with DO YOU EVEN LIFT BRO shirt on in the gym today.

    Did not see him even lift (bro).

  5. #14075
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    Today Broseph went full retard by doing ab crunches while swinging 125 lbs in bench press lockout position above his clever head.

    Sent from my HTC One using Tapatalk

  6. #14076
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    Quote Originally Posted by Josiah Moye View Post
    Skinny guy with DO YOU EVEN LIFT BRO shirt on in the gym today.

    Did not see him even lift (bro).
    I see a guy like that at my gym. He's not skinny but more lean than big. And he's in a DYEL tank top instead of a shirt. Only barbell I've seen him touch was to do behind the neck seated shoulder presses with 95 lbs.

  7. #14077
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    so i'm at the squat rack last night. i had just finished my working sets and about to start doing presses.

    i turn around and see some quite out of shape looking big guy who proceed to bull rush and tackle one of the heavy bags.

    a few people looked at him with those 'what the fuck are you doing you fucking tool' eyes.

    he interpreted these as 'man all these guys are looking at me, they must think i am tuff and some form of professional athelete' eyes.

    so he tackles the heavy bag again. this time with a bit more gusto and a longer run up. i am not make this up. imagine a 6 foot 2 out of shape fat guy around 240 running at a heavy bag like he was at football camp in a gym with heaps of people around.

    he proceeds to rush through the bag and trip over some straps on the ground and bangs straight into a large multi station pull up/body weight exercise rack thingy. which some chick was attempting to do some assisted pull ups. she almost loses her grip and falls off.

    he totally ate shit sandwiches.

    he then limps over and picks up the heaviest kettle bell he can find, tries to lift it above his head a couple times - struggles - puts it back down and limps off never to be seen for the rest of my workout.

    where the fuck do these dimwits come from?

  8. #14078
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    Quote Originally Posted by 16bit View Post
    imagine a 6 foot 2 out of shape fat guy around 240 running at a heavy bag like he was at football camp in a gym with heaps of people around. [...]

    he then limps over and picks up the heaviest kettle bell he can find [...]

    where the fuck do these dimwits come from?
    He was probably a former football player, and came into the gym doing all he knew how to do - run at things and smash into them, and lift the heaviest weight he could find, with no actual plan in mind beyond, "go hard!"

  9. #14079
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    So there's a group of young adults who come in periodically, mid-day, in pairs, with checklist-looking pieces of paper. They stand around in the weight room, mostly futzing around and shooting the shit, making check marks on their checklists, and then they leave.

    Today, the pair that arrived first came over to the power cage (in which some thoughtful people had left the most obscenely bent bar in the gym at shoulder height loaded up with 2 plates and change with the wussy pad attached) and grabbed the 15 lb padded "trainer bar" out of the stand. One of them proceeded to do careful, controlled, symmetric half squats in front of the cage. The other watched closely from multiple angles, making notes on his checklist and commenting. (I had my headphones on, so I've no idea what he had to say. It didn't look like he thought that a hip crease a full foot above the knee was a problem.)

    Later, three or four pairs hung out in the space between the pull-up bars and the cable station for about half an hour. They appeared to be discussing how to kip, because the only exercise I saw any of them do was when one demonstrated the start of a kip several times, and then did one easy kipping pull-up. A few appeared to play around with the idea of a kipping lat pulldown for a bit. Then they all left.

    In my imagination, these guys are students at a local community school working on their ex-phys degrees, and the time they waste in the weight room is the entirety of the "practical" portion of their education.

  10. #14080
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    Quote Originally Posted by WildPegasus View Post
    I see a guy like that at my gym. He's not skinny but more lean than big. And he's in a DYEL tank top instead of a shirt. Only barbell I've seen him touch was to do behind the neck seated shoulder presses with 95 lbs.
    I would take a skinny kid with that ironic shirt any day over what I see on a regular basis: wife beaters with 'straps' so skinny and deep, it only covers their nipples.
    The worst is when they pull them together and check themselves out, even when they're 50 feet away from a mirror.

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