If you guys ever get sick of all the morons and/or ungrateful wretches who won't DTP, you could become purveyors of fine whiskey. You certainly have knowledge of the product. Although, apparently, Texas is not the best place for that kind of thing--the TABC strikes me as very annoying.
The TABC is composed of the guys who couldn't get a job as a campus cop, and have finally gotten hired after a hard three years at the mall. The Party Police. They should be disbanded and forgotten about completely.