So I have failed as a father.

[billb7581]

Believe me I was fine working out by myself....I'm going to suggest he just go work out at school with jis frienda

[PizzaDad]

I have 5 kids. 3 boys and 2 girls. My oldest (step)son is 6'4". was captain of his high school soccer team and played on State Champ football team. He just lost 100 lbs that he had gained the first 3 years of college. All I have to say to him on that is that I am very happy for him. He Stopped listening to what I told him about working out when he was in 7th grade. My oldest daughter never listened to a thing I had to say to her about anything. My two younger boys, both18, exercise regularly. One is in college and does the normal screw around workouts that most young people do. My other18 year old son works out intently With weights, overtraining for peak fitness. I have given him a copy of starting strength and tried to encourage him to eat more and lift heavier. I make sure there is plenty of food in the fridge and he has access to the weights.
Youngest daughter listened to me and spent about a month squatting, then got bored of it wanted to run and do yoga....so be it. My wife was a cross fitter. She runs with my daughter.
I get the weights pretty much to myself.

[Mark Rippetoe]

And Pizza has not failed as a Father. He had enough sense to save it for when it will be important. A Father is seldom a coach.

[Scaldrew]

And Pizza has not failed as a Father. He had enough sense to save it for when it will be important. A Father is seldom a coach.

I always found the "don't coach your..." to be only half convincing. I didn't see why I shouldn't be able to coach my XYZ. But this thread shows the other half of what I wasn't getting. Holy bejesus.

[Brodie Butland]

I always found the "don't coach your..." to be only half convincing. I didn't see why I shouldn't be able to coach my XYZ. But this thread shows the other half of what I wasn't getting. Holy bejesus.

It's one of those aphorisms that you often don't understand until you try it. I tried coaching my wife once, thinking I would be the exception to the rule. After all, I'm an SSC, highly intelligent, confident, and have dashing good looks and an inimitable degree of sexual charisma. I haven't tried a second time since.

[Dalton Clark]

A coach is someone who can give criticism without causing resentment

By definition, your coach can't really be someone who has an emotional "in" with you. They can't be someone whose opinion you care about (with regards to your opinion of yourself). Because then every form critique and cue becomes some way in which you are inadequate to your significant other, or another way you let your father down, or some way in which you aren't "good" enough. This leads to resentment. That is just one reason.

[John Watson]

YouTube

At 1:27 in the video, can you spot what's wrong?
He's not centered under the bar.
Get him centered under the bar. See how the center knurl is to the right of his spine? That's why his arms look uneven to you.
Once he's centered under the bar, you'll actually be able to proceed.
But before you even do that, do what Rip told you, and follow the instructions from the book, and do the bottom position with no bar, and video or photograph it.

This is 100% a coaching problem, if the barbell is 4" to the right of where it needs to be, you need to be able to spot that and fix it. There's nothing wrong with his arms.

[Kyle Stevens]

Some advice from someone who has coached some friends and a girlfriend....less is more when giving information. I learned the hard way with my gf that it is very easy to overwhelm and frustrate the trainee and yourself by drowning them in cues and information. Good on you to seek help and advice, take all of your eagerness to get your son under the bar and apply it to becoming a more effective coach. Read the book cover to cover (multiple times), get on the technique board and watch/learn from all the videos you can. Also as many people have advised...get him to a certified SS coach.

[Scaldrew]

It's one of those aphorisms that you often don't understand until you try it. I tried coaching my wife once, thinking I would be the exception to the rule. After all, I'm an SSC, highly intelligent, confident, and have dashing good looks and an inimitable degree of sexual charisma. I haven't tried a second time since.

I've had relative success coaching my elder brother, but he definitely didn't go easy on me. He's opened up over time and now mostly trains alone, only occasionally asking for advice on what to do next. Coaching a significant other sounds like a world of hurt cos you have to live with them after the experience. I guess even the best coaches have to concede to higher powers that bar them from coaching just about anyone.

Or maybe you're all a bunch of HACKS. Hacks, I say!

[hamburgerfan]

Some advice from someone who has coached some friends and a girlfriend....less is more when giving information. I learned the hard way with my gf that it is very easy to overwhelm and frustrate the trainee and yourself by drowning them in cues and information. Good on you to seek help and advice, take all of your eagerness to get your son under the bar and apply it to becoming a more effective coach. Read the book cover to cover (multiple times), get on the technique board and watch/learn from all the videos you can. Also as many people have advised...get him to a certified SS coach.

It's often helpful to not push one strict set of methods. Don't tell them to D any FPs. A little flexibility when it comes to exercise selection and programming methods can make a big difference.