36.Originally Posted by Mark Rippetoe
TMPHBITEU
How old are you?
Member
36.
TMPHBITEU
Yes, at 36 you have all the info you need.
Member
Yes, at 62 you have all the info you need about what you'll do before a nursing home sets in.
We will wait and see what will happen(if I'm still there, like I've already said).
Member
How are suicidal inclinations not mentally strong if it is based on a decision to not want to live if you are not where you want to be physically (or mentally)? It seems like it takes a great amount of mental fortitude to hold to your principals and NOT want to live dependent on others. Dying a slow death seems the easier way out (albeit not pleasant) then deciding when you are done.
Thanks all for the thoughts. I had not quite realized what I stirred up. And thanks for your perspective too Sully. Very good points that assisted living can be ancillary items around your life while you continue on doing what you want to do.
✓ Member
My grandfather is 94 and refuses to ever live in a nursing home. He’s told us many times he’d rather we shoot him. He’s very strong for his age and doesn’t need that. I think the point of the discussion is that strength - however little it may be at a late age - helps you maintain independence for as long as possible.
I don’t think there’s anything dramatic about preferring death to assisted living. Doesn’t matter how “mentally strong” you are. A nursing home will break that. “Assisted Living” is a misnomer. It’s merely assisted existence.
Member
A lot of people say they don't want to be in a nursing home, but you can't just not want to. You have to plan not to. I send people to nursing homes virtually every day. They usually haven't done anything to take care of themselves their entire lives and often have a habit that is destroying them, like smoking. Then they break a hip or have a stroke or just come in because "suddenly" they are too weak to get out of bed. You just can't live what Sully calls the sick aging phenotype and have any hope of escaping significant prolonged suffering at end of life. But you can stay strong, keep squatting into your 90s and most likely you'll avoid most of that. Of course there are no guarantees because sometimes bad things happen to people for no reason, but it is your best bet. Then perhaps your own death might take a week or two, or less. Then your family doesn't have to figure out how to afford 20 years in a nursing home. You can do it at home. And if you're smart, you'll set it up so that nobody rushes you to the hospital at the last minute and tells them to "do everything." Just last week we had a guy who was dying at home and already on hospice get airlifted to the ER with instructions to "do everything" when he started showing signs of passing. Happens all the time.
The problem we're having now is that the baby-boomers are all at that age now, and the vast majority of them did not take care of themselves. What we need is a philosophy of dying that would enable most people to die at home over a relatively short period of time. But this would also mean a philosophy of living that ensures people are strong enough to die well. Currently, we have a philosophy of living and dying that shifts all the cost and the responsibility onto the younger generations, essentially we are devouring the young to enable the sick aging phenotype. The moral contradiction embedded in that philosophy is big enough that it will eventually destroy the society if it's not changed.
Member
Nobody wants to waste away in a bed in a shit-hole with inadequate staffing and no mental stimulation. I lost a wife to cancer. When it was time to stop treatment, I had someone from the Hospice organization show up and try to get me to move her into one of their facilities "to get her stabilized". Then supposedly she could come back home. I could smell the bullshit thru her smiling teeth. I showed her the door. I didn't realize that there were multiple hospice organizations but one of her doctors put me in touch with one associated with the hospital. They provided daily home visits which allowed me to keep her here with her family. One of the things I discovered was that there was an entire profitable industry based on hospice care and the difference from one organization to the other was like 1st world and 3rd world care.
When my dad's health started to dive and he ended up in a hospital, we moved him to the "best adult convalescent" facility in his area. It was not horror story bad but is certainly was not great. He wasn't there long before going back to the hospital and fought like hell to stay alive long enough to get home to die. He articulated it quite clearly. He wanted to go home and die in the same house that my mother had died in. We managed to get him out of there, and home into a medical bed placed in the living room so that he could give us the thumbs up, slip into unconsciousness for about 48 hours and die. I wish I could have gotten him home a week or so before and skipped all the bullshit of extraordinary measures.
If I an run the numbers out the same as my dad and my grandfather I can make it to early 80's. That sounds pretty good. My dad's older brother is pressing it into the 90's soon. I want to stay mobile as long as possible and then I hope I am overdoing it with farm work and I have a great big massive heart attack. I don't care it if hurts, just as long as it's quick. As I have said before. I plan to hunt until my last days. And If I get stalked and mauled/eaten by a bear, that's a pretty good way to go, compared to a nursing home. Celebrating my 85'th with some drunken debauchery that takes me out wouldn't be too bad either. I'll keep lifting as long as I can. I'd rather be used up than rusted out.
Member
This thread should be required reading... for everyone.
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