This entire article was a beautiful allegory for the bougey liberal in America and the Clinton campaign.

They start off lying to themselves, exaggerating strength where there is none. "I was strong! I did a fitness class biweekly where we lifted small weights to dance music!".
Except, despite their claims, they were never strong. Just as the Clinton campaign was never competent. It was extreme self delusion. (Think of those Democrats with the "It's not rigged, you're just losing" posters.)

Their false strength eventually gave way to even greater weakness and, with it, a painful recognition of their newfound impotence. "I can no longer open a jar. For all my bluster claiming the opposite, the truth is I lack the strength of an eight year old.". This is the current Democrat. Just as the author's grip has weakened so has the Democrat's mind. Indeed, their mind is so atrophied from panic and desperation that they have surrendered their grip on reality and resorted to Russian conspiracy theories.

In retrospect, just as the author sabotaged her "strength" by refusing to do even her simple exercises, Clintonged sabotaged herself and her campaign, most obviously by denigrating middle Americans and engaging in countless security violations.

Yeah, the article was overly wordy, but it was beautiful in its intent.