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Thread: One more strong person

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Feb 2017
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    Charlottesville VA
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    Default One more strong person

    • starting strength seminar april 2024
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    Rip, today my 17 year old daughter squatted 185x3x5 (lbs) and pulled 230x5. This may not seem extraordinary to most people who train, but for us, this is monumental. My daughter is surviving an eating disorder.
    Several years ago I started exposing her to weight training. Hoping she might focus on getting stronger , instead of restricting her food. I didn’t push, i just showed her what I was doing. she lost interest. But about 18 months ago she asked me to teach her to squat. She got strong quickly and loved it and her strength was improving until just before Christmas 2018 and then she began a spiral. Her progress stalled and that was our first indication that things were going badly.
    It got bad. Really bad. We were in and out of the hospital and there was a period of several months where we didn't know how this was going to end. This isn't something with a quick fix or a magical happy ending but with lots of hard work she has pulled thru the crisis of last year and is continuing to make progress. Normal body weight and a healthy relationship with food.
    Her body image has changed. The things she admires in other young women has changed. She watches deadlift videos and looks at female powerlifter’s instagram pages instead of impossibly skinny fashion models
    Tonight She told me she wanted to read “that book you're always talking about.” I pulled my copy of starting strength from a stack of books in my room and gave it to her.
    She is looking forward to squatting 200 lbs in a few weeks. She will never do GOMAD but She eats real food. And she supplements with protein shakes. It isn't magically over. But I feel that she is winning this fight. I could go on all night about how central lifting has been for her recovery. This shit matters. Sharing the information of how to make people stronger is a generous gift. I have been able to help her because I was fortunate enough to find starting strength for my own needs years ago.
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  2. #2
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    Jul 2007
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    North Texas
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    Sharpen your pizza skills.

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Feb 2017
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    Charlottesville VA
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    She wont eat pizza. But Waffles are fair game.

  4. #4
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    Jul 2013
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    Provo, Utah
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    PizzaDad, hang in there man. Hang in there. I feel for you. It must tear your heart out.

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Feb 2018
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    599

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    Sounds like expert parenting in one of the hardest of all circumstances. Well done to you both!

    No matter what lies ahead, she has learned, with your help, that things that are “too hard” can become doable, and that things that seem impossible can be done and then recede in the rear view mirror as you keep progressing. An invaluable lesson.

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Mar 2019
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    If it’s any encouragement, my girlfriend was apparently had an eating disorder and “exercise bulimia” throughout most of her teenage years and now she eats like somebody twice her size, squats in the low 200s for 5s, pulls over 300 for a single and is an ifbb pro for bikini. Strength training and bodybuilding does wonders to counteract that skinny mindset.

    Happy to hear that it has changed your daughter’s life as well!

  7. #7
    Join Date
    Feb 2017
    Location
    Charlottesville VA
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    I appreciate all the encouraging words. A year ago we were interviewing inpatient facilities ( recommended by her team of doctors). This year we are waiting for responses from college applications.
    Her doctors were rather forceful about the need to put her into an facility. And we were right there with them mentally. But i started reading everything I could find, including reviews from former patients and autobiographies from women who had survived and I couldn't get past the feeling that this just wasn't the right move.
    She was afraid and it seemed like a punitive environment. I don't know how, but something clicked. It wasn't something that I did. It was something in her. Somehow she found a way to stumble and crawl back. We did everything that we could to help, but you can not make someone want to live. They have to want that.
    I have raised five children. They have all been a challenge in their own right. I am glad that she came as the last one because I wouldn't have had the tools without the others before her.
    I still watch her food intake from a distance and whenever she starts talking, I turn off my phone and sit down and listen because I never know what she is going to share with me. Spontaneous conversations that she starts have revealed some amazing and frightening things about her disease. Many of those conversations start with her telling me about her workout that day. We train in our basement and she is usually done by the time my wife or I come home from work. The rack has safety arms. I would rather she waited for me to get home but teenagers don’t usually do what you want, so I am happy that she is eating and training.
    I’ve rambled. I am lucky. There are many families who’s children never find their way back. I am grateful that strength training appealed to her.

  8. #8
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    Dec 2015
    Location
    Boston, MA
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    Beautiful story, thanks for posting that.

    As a parent to a teenage daugher as well, this line sticks out: I turn off my phone and sit down and listen because I never know what she is going to share with me.

  9. #9
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    May 2014
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    Ozarks
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    Wow, man. I can't imagine. My children are both still under three. I've always joked that I'll teach them both strength training, but it's mandatory for my daughter. I'm so very glad for you, your daughter and family.

  10. #10
    Join Date
    Aug 2019
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    119

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    starting strength coach development program
    As a father of a 9 year old boy and a 3 year old girl, I want to thank PizzaDad for sharing this beautiful parenting story. Also, as TommyGun said, this line is the crown jewel:

    "I turn off my phone and sit down and listen because I never know what she is going to share with me."

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