Quote:
What's a Human Doing?
We live in an achievement culture that worships at the altar of accomplishment. Growing up or living in today’s world means being bombarded by messages telling us that we must “do” things (really well!) to be valued in our society (and to value ourselves). However it’s measured, whether with grades, sports victories, admission into the best schools, accumulation of wealth, status, or power, just to name a few, it can become the basis for our self-identity and self-esteem. In being seduced (or brainwashed) by these messages, you may transmogrify from a human being to a human doing.
Human doings only feel good about themselves when they are accomplishing things. To prove themselves, they use some measurable criteria which can range from financial or professional status to seemingly trivial things, such as how many steps they take in a day (fitness trackers are insidious reinforcers of human doingness) or the cleanliness of their households. Human doings are often “list people” who wake up every day with a tally of tasks and they are not satisfied or happy at the end of the day unless they crossed off, every item on the list.
Human doings live in a constant state of discomfort that causes them to feel as if they must achieve and be successful or they are worthless people undeserving of love. This relationship between achievement and self-esteem becomes the basis for their own self-love. Having internalized their perceptions of being a human doing from their parents or culture, they come to love themselves only when they achieve success, and experience self-loathing when they are not doing, or they fail at doing.
What’s a Human Being?
Human beings believe that their self-worth is defined not by their accomplishments, but rather by their values, attitudes, and beliefs; their determination and effort; and how they treat people (all much kinder and gentler bases for self-evaluation). They are able to resist the tsunami of unhealthy messages from our achievement culture and make deliberate choices based on who they are and what is important to them. Human beings gain satisfaction and validation from being honest, considerate, and responsible, among other things. They also have control over what primarily affirms their self-esteem, so the vicissitudes of achievement (i.e., the inevitable failures that are a natural part of the human condition) don’t have an outsized impact on how they feel about themselves.
Just what we need in today's world: more people jerking off.