Training plan for aggression Training plan for aggression

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Thread: Training plan for aggression

  1. #1
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    Default Training plan for aggression

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    The Mental Toughness article by Mark Chidley was recently reposted and the story about the bullied woman resonated with me.

    Lately, it seems like everywhere I go, I accrue disrespect from others, but I donít have the skills to verbally defend myself. Sometimes itís little things like someone with a rude tone of voice, but other times itís deliberate comments, criticisms or actions that cross the line. Sometimes a small conflict will trigger memories of past situations and at my worst this will even generate a physiological response.

    Itís hard to explain, but itís just like I donít have the self-defense reflex to show aggression. What good is a defanged tarantula or a declawed lion?

    Iíve read a few books on the topic and watched some videos, like this one from Jordan Peterson but I need more direct help.

    If you were in my situation, where would you start?

    Thank you,

  2. #2
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    This is going to sound trite, but check your testosterone levels.

  3. #3
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    Thanks, Rip. I hear where you're coming from with the biological perspective.

    They're at the low end of the reference range right now, but I'm also sleep-deprived. I'd want to solve the latter (working on it now) and get a new testosterone reading before committing to TRT. Even if I felt more aggressive, I'm not sure I'd have the ability to defend against some of the jabs that keep coming my way.

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    It sounds like the TRT might in fact be a waste of time. Good luck to you.

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    Quote Originally Posted by BareSteel View Post
    ÖEven if I felt more aggressive, I'm not sure I'd have the ability to defend against some of the jabs that keep coming my way.
    I mean no disrespect, and your candor is impressive, but this sounds like my teenagers who sometimes cannot imagine the world ever looking different.

  6. #6
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    In my experience, most people who are assholes in public immediately try to deescalate once they encounter someone who responds in kind. I don't have an anger management problem, and I'm always polite to people initially, but if someone is obviously and intentionally being a douchebag, I almost always reciprocate twofold. In almost every situation the other person immediately went on the defense, almost blindsided. One time I went a little too far and the dude asked if I wanted to go outside, but 99% of the time the person starts acting like a victim for being treated how they were just treating others, just moments before.

    Be nice, but always keep a "fuck off" or "go fuck yourself" chambered just in case.

  7. #7
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    Lots to unwrap and it cannot be done here. BUT, maybe trying to be aggressive just isnít going to work for you. Not everyone can be, nor should everyone. In reality, being overtly aggressive is not good.
    Follow your good qualities, take yourself out of bad situations, and try to improve the little troubles first. Improving what you can control, choosing who gets your time, and becoming more independent is often confused with aggression in todays society.

  8. #8
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    I'm in the same position, being a 23 year old and feeling like I would like to develop more self confidence and aggression. Here's how I think about it:
    - There's a difference between confidence, assertiveness, and a kind of civilized aggression VS. reactionary, defensive aggression. Some people think that flipping people off or challenging others to a fight proves they are being assertive, strong, and "bad ass." They are not. A lot of aggression is out of fear. Truly confident people don't need to puff up their chests.
    - Physical pursuits aren't the only way to become confident and assertive. There are many people who aren't familiar with barbells, boxing gloves, and gi's but are nevertheless highly confident and assertive. Jordan Peterson is a good example of that (despite the fact he lifted in ~ his college years). Becoming highly competent in your interests (e.g., guitar or dancing) and/or career would probably go a long way in giving you a backbone.
    - That being said, there does seem to be something exceptional about physical pursuits. I think that's because they (1) develop your ability to be destructive and powerful and (2) increase your capacity to face physical hardship—the most basic form of punishment and danger. In other words, you are more confident and less afraid. I have already noticed a difference just from the NLP moving from 165 to 200 lbs BW. Everyone is that much smaller now.

    I am considering getting back into Brazilian Jiu Jitsu after the new year. You might consider doing something like that too.

    It sounds like you're (generally) afraid... So am I. The first step is to be honest about that and then want to change it. Be strong enough to face the truth. Good luck!

  9. #9
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    I second the "fuck off" response. I also used to frequently find myself unsure how to exactly respond to assholes, until I realized that the only thing that assholes understand is similar assholery. "Fuck off" or "Fuck you" is almost always perfect. And its almost always deserved.

  10. #10
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    Quote Originally Posted by FatButWeak View Post
    I second the "fuck off" response. I also used to frequently find myself unsure how to exactly respond to assholes, until I realized that the only thing that assholes understand is similar assholery. "Fuck off" or "Fuck you" is almost always perfect. And its almost always deserved.
    Works just fine, until he hits you in the mouth. You have to be prepared for the consequences of "Fuck off", and that's the part the OP lacks.

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