Psychology question, off-topic. Psychology question, off-topic.

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Thread: Psychology question, off-topic.

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Jul 2012
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    156

    Default Psychology question, off-topic.

    • starting strength seminar april 2021
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    Hello Rip,
    This is mostly irrelated to strength training, but I appreciate your thoughts on things so I thought about asking it.
    Unfortunately my father is in a bad health situation. He's brain-damaged and doesen't think / speak clearly. He's confused, and his short-term memory is really bad. Physically he's not able to move that much, couple of days ago he managed to stand up from the wheelchair by his own and I could walk with him a couple of steps when I hold him. His cognitive and motor skills are off.
    It started 2 months ago after he got a hit in the head, had an internal bleed, surgery, and the rehabillitation is not too quick, to say the least. Assumptions at the moment are good and they say that it will take couple of months but he will function good, also in terms of the brain, not only the body. He's only 69 years old.

    Obviously, showering him and literally taking him to the toilet etc. is not the most fun thing I have done. He's obviously depressed and I do my best to be seen mentally strong when I'm with him. But it's like a battlefield, where I'm doing what's needed and doesen't show any weakness, but afterwards cry all night. I'm sure it's not easy to nobody, but I think I'm not actually dealing with it. I worry about him all the time as if he was my child. We have an amazing connection and I admire him, which is good, and I spend a lot of time taking care of him and fighting the hospital system every time needed. I'm on it, and he's getting as much protein as they permit (55gr/day, ridiculous) and I supple him with additional 40gr/day (if he has the appetite). I take care of things, logistically. But mentally, I don't think I handle it at all.

    I train regularly. My mood is bad so I tend to rest a lot more than needed between sets because I stare and think and forget I have to go for the next set, but I complete all sets and reps scheduled. It usually takes an extra 30-40 minutes. So in this aspect I think I'm okay.


    Do you have any tips or thoughts about such things? How to deal with it?
    Last two months really were some sort of a hell for me, and obviously also for him.



    Thank you very much in advance.

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Jul 2007
    Location
    North Texas
    Posts
    45,096

    Default

    See to your own testosterone. And smuggle some in to him. Don't get caught.

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Dec 2015
    Location
    Boston, MA
    Posts
    524

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    Tal, been there done that. Twice.
    My motherís devastating brain aneurysm and my fathers endless Alzheimerís. Caregiving like you are doing is impossible to describe unless you have lived it. Showering your parents and wiping their asses and feeding them one bit at a time. Itís how we show our love.

    For me, it obviously affected my training. It affected my marriage, my job performance, everything. But somehow you and your dad will get through it. As difficult as that is to believe right now. Prepare yourself mentally, spiritually, and physically for the long haul.

    You will know what to do with your father. Be his fiercest advocate. But for yourself take care of the basics. Rest, eat right, be sure to do the things which bring you joy. Ask for help and find someone to talk to.

    Put things in its proper order. You may need to cut back on your training but do not stop training. It will do wonders for you mentally to be able to get under the bar or deadlift. Donít worry about your PRís, just be present in the moment and grateful that you can train at all.

    Wish you and your dad the best.
    Hereís something I wrote, maybe it can help.

    The Most Important Lift of My Life | Tom Bailey

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Jul 2012
    Posts
    156

    Default

    Thanks guys.

    At Tuesday I meet his doctor and will ask for a testosterone check. I think she will agree, and if it's too low even related to their standards, well, I will argue for TRT for him.

    Great read, Tom. Great article. And thanks for the message. Really...

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Jul 2007
    Location
    North Texas
    Posts
    45,096

    Default

    You're about to learn something about his doctor.

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Sep 2019
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    503

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    starting strength coach development program
    Quote Originally Posted by TommyGun View Post
    Wish you and your dad the best.
    Hereís something I wrote, maybe it can help.

    The Most Important Lift of My Life | Tom Bailey
    Thank you for sharing and to Mark for posting this.

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