While I agree with the advice to train contact sports, I asked you this question because I thought you never got beaten up. The thing about getting beaten up is that you realize what actual aggression really is, so you can perceive other people nagging or being disrespectful as a tiny problem.
I can squat 505, and for the longest time, I did not have high self-confidence or self-esteem. Getting my squat higher didn't fix it. Getting a purple belt in BJJ didn't fix it. Competing in combats sports didn't fix it. I think all of that made me more capable and happy, but I didn't think as aggressively as I do now (and even now, I'm not that aggressive).
I'm not saying this is the solution for Baresteel, but getting my free testosterone from 10ng/dL to 30ng/dL and total testosterone from 250ng/dL to 1100ng/dL helped with that a lot. So, my point is that you can be strong and still have low self-esteem.
Last edited by AndrewLewis; 12-05-2021 at 08:42 AM. Reason: units
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OP you said your Testosterone was in the low end of the reference range, does that mean you have had it tested? What were the numbers?
There is nothing wrong in avoiding conflict BareSteel and it doesn't make you a phony. Most of us just keep our mouths shut and go about the rest of our day, even if it's just a snarky little cashier. Why make a big deal over some bullshit?
But you do sound like your are over sensitive and it doesn't sound healthy. Maybe you should get tested, I'm not saying testosterone is the issue, I have no idea what is going on. But whatever it is, it's not normal.
I agree that getting my T fixed helped a lot too. I have a question for you, Andrew:
What is your mental state when you are getting ready for your heavy lift? I get aggressive, and I can't help but wonder if it's the same sort of aggressiveness you and/or BareSteel are looking for? If I'm alone at home, I'll grunt, snort, and smack my shoes on the platform as I'm getting ready to lift. I keep it far more subdued around other people or at a gym, but I still try to maintain an "Attack" mindset and psyche myself up for it. I want to be careful in saying that I'm not acting like some alpha male, ass clown, putting on a show, but that I do approach the lift very aggressively... The heavier it is, or the more I'm not certain about it, the more I try to psyche myself up for it.
It sounds ridiculous, but there is something primal about it that I think helps trigger some sort of small adrenaline release - a fight or flight response of sorts, I suppose?
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