You are at a good height and weight and have now lost all of the necessary body fat. I would start by eating 3000 calories, 200 grams of protein, 350 grams of carbohydrates, and the remaining calories from fat. This is outlined in my articles. Have you read them? Second, I would not expect much muscle definition with those numbers. Get the your 5RMS to 405/315/225/135 for starters and you should see a change in your muscle appearance. You have developed an unhealthy relationship with food as it happens when you cut calories for too long and have a history of obesity. This will require some mental exercise in addition to physical. I'm not psychologist but when my brain has went off the deep end after aggressive cuts I have to practice telling myself to stop giving a fuck, it's the starvation talking, and at some point I do. Never underestimate the role of calorie cutting in making you insane and body dysmorphic.