Lost 140 lbs fasting, ruined my metabolism

[Kristen Walker]

Hi. I'm a 43 year old female, 5'7" 180 lbs. I started losing weight in 2020 weighing 280 lbs. That was also the year I first read the SS book, and ran part of an NLP on my own. Most of the way I lost weight was with 72 hour fasts and keto, so as you can imagine, my strength progress stalled. I prioritized low bodyweight over strength and got down to 138 lbs. last summer, but I had to push to get that low with very long fasts up to 9 days.

Because of my weight loss experience, I got interested in nutrition, eventually specifically interested in muscle, and came around to the idea that most people are more under-muscled than overweight. I realized I messed up remaining sedentary and using fasting and ketosis to lose weight instead of building muscle and improving insulin sensitivity that way. I've since read the blue book again, as well as PPST, Barbell Rx, Alan Aragon's Flexible Dieting, Herman Pontzer's Burn, and more. I've come to believe that a more moderate and sustainable approach to fat loss, with a strong emphasis on strength training, is ideal. I learned the hard way what crash dieting does to your body. I am now almost finished with the PN Level 1 cert.

Obviously when I quit fasting I gained weight, even on 1200 kcal/day. My metabolic adaptation was pretty extreme, and I had lost a great deal of muscle mass. Even at 140 lbs, I still had a high BFP.

Meanwhile I started training at a SS gym 3 days/wk about 5 weeks ago. I love training. I love getting stronger. I am even thinking about competing. But I am dismayed by the weight gain. I have to cut pretty drastically to lose weight and I'm worried that a deficit large enough to cut fat will stall my progress at the gym. However, I am also kind of panicked about getting fat again. I was obese my whole life, and severely obese for years.

I'm in a sort of analysis paralysis. Do I cut and risk losing strength progress, maintain and hope for the best, or eat in a slight surplus and risk getting fatter?

I've been doing 2100 kcal on training days and 1800 on recovery days, at least 165 g protein both days, and I'm more or less maintaining -- which I realize is a victory in itself. But I'm not comfortable at this BFP (my BIA scale says 35%). It'll be hard to go under 2000 kcal on training days because the days are LONG -- I get up at 3:45 am for the 5:30 am class -- and I'm pretty damn hungry on those days.

What would you recommend for me? Your insight would be very valuable.

Sorry this was long. I appreciate your time and advice, and I dig your videos.

Kristen

[Robert Santana]

Thanks for the kind words and congratulations on the successful and large weight loss! I know it's not ideal to gain back but comes with the territory when it's lose through fasting/extreme calorie restriction. While I can't offer super specific recommendations, my general position is that you can probably progress on less than 2100 calories but you really need to put weight loss on the back burner so regain the lost muscle (which hopefully you've mostly done) and add more with additional strength gain. This is a long term play and will require a psychological adjustment on your part. The fear of gaining fat after losing so much can be your worst enemy and I've worked with people in your shoes many times. You need a good year of uninterrupted training with adequate nutrition at the very minimum. Your body needs to time to adjust. That said, how strong are you right now?

[Kristen Walker]

Robert, thank you for the quick response.

I see a therapist every two weeks who is helping with dialectical behavior therapy for the orthorexia and binge eating disorder. Signing myself up as my own PN client has also been helpful. They have many useful tools for moderating food behaviors. I have never been good at moderation. Fasting for 3 days or restricting all carbs (even did years of carnivore) is infinitely easier for me than cutting calories while eating a variety of foods in moderation. Fasting is truly the easy way out.

I am struggling psychologically. Much of it, I admit, is pure vanity. I looked really good, and I feel like I lost a super power or something. Just being honest.

Physically I feel great compared to when I had been fasting for so long. I had developed some kind of electrolyte imbalance, probably Mg based on symptoms (dyspnea, muscle tetany around the lips, etc) all of which disappeared when I started, you know... eating food.

I am not very strong. I'm sure my previous diet was horribly catabolic and that I experienced some sarcopenia, but I have also been sedentary most of my life, so there's that. I was a somewhat accomplished dancer in my youth. Both my parents were gifted athletes. My dad was a state champion wrestler.

I've been training at SS Plano for about 5 weeks. My lifts have progressed as follows:

Squat: 55 lbs to 135
Bench: 45 to 72.5
Press: 32 to 67.5
Deadlift: 88 to 170

Today I started missing 4th and 5th reps, and my coach moved me to triples.

I am extremely committed to training, maybe a little obsessed with it. I've listened to probably hundreds of hours of the podcasts and videos. Intellectually I know that if I put on as much muscle as possible right now during the brief magical window for "newbie gainz" I will be a more efficient metabolic furnace for as long as I maintain my LBM, but I am experiencing a difficult battle between what I know and want, and what I can psychologically tolerate.

As far as macros, I track carefully using Carbon Diet Coach (Layne Norton's app). I hit my protein target first, and I tend to be really low fat without even trying, usually under 60g. Even still my protein is usually above target, and carbs are usually in the low 200s.

My next move is to cut to 1700 kcal rest days and 2000 kcal training days. If my strength starts to suffer, I'll have a decision to make.

I have been on a relentless search for data that will help me decide what to do, but I value your unique outlook as a lifter, RD, and SSC.

Thank you again for your time and insight.

Kristen

[Robert Santana]

You are on the right on the money with your macros and your numbers are by no means terrible. You have more to come in due time and as that bar gets heavier your body will start to change accordingly. Comparing to your previously lighter, untrained, and malnourished self is not productive as I'm sure you already know. You've just walked through a door to a new world so work on also building the patience muscle, our favorite. One solid year of this should balance out the physical and metabolic maladaptations you've had from past diets. The psychological side may take longer depending on how stubbornly you are holding onto the past ideals. I'm not a psychologist so just speaking based on my limited knowledge on that area and experience with working with people with disordered eating and eating disorders. Just depends on the severity and your willingness to let it go.

[HailMary]

You can do it, Kristen! Getting strong is the way through.

[Kristen Walker]

I thought about this a lot in the last 24 hours. I know you're right. I'm obviously not great at patience. The long, slow, steady road is the hardest to walk, which is why in the past I've opted for the quick and dirty method. It's easier, but as we know, "Easy doesn't work."

I'll take your advice and give myself time, continuing to work on the mental/emotional side. Nothing is more important, beneficial, or necessary than training, and that's the bottom line. I would love to recomp during my NLP, but if it turns out I can't continue to progress and lose fat at the same time, I'll choose strength over fat loss while I have this rare opportunity for rapid progress.

I appreciate you taking the time to respond to me.

[Robert Santana]

Always happy to help. Keep us posted on your journey, I am sure you will do just fine. Slow and steady wins the race.

[HailMary]

For me, I felt like the big pay off in body comp happened in years 3 and 4 of training. There were times in years 1 and 2 that were a little rough, mentally. Gaining weight (15#), sizing up in clothes, and not seeing what I had hoped to see in the mirror. I started out thin and under muscled and middle-aged. Consistency (sleep, food, training, managing stress) and getting stronger did pay off, it just took longer than I initially thought it would. So, yes, slow and steady wins the race. Good luck with your training!

[Robert Santana]

For me, I felt like the big pay off in body comp happened in years 3 and 4 of training. There were times in years 1 and 2 that were a little rough, mentally. Gaining weight (15#), sizing up in clothes, and not seeing what I had hoped to see in the mirror. I started out thin and under muscled and middle-aged. Consistency (sleep, food, training, managing stress) and getting stronger did pay off, it just took longer than I initially thought it would. So, yes, slow and steady wins the race. Good luck with your training!

I'd say that's a pretty standard timeline. I really started to see it after year 2 of serious training. Lower body was already there (went into NLP with a 315 squat) but driving that deadlift up to 500 was a game changer for my back and waist.

[Kristen Walker]

Interesting, and good to know. Thank you.

I now have about 6 weeks of training and tracking, so I was able to look back and see that I'm maintaining my body weight on an average ~2000 kcal/day. That's good data to have, and right now I'm leaving it there (cycling higher carbs and calories on training days) and will monitor what happens on maintenance calories for now. I'm doing everything slowly, and working to shift my focus to enjoying training (and life) for its own sake, "delivered from lust of result." If I obsess about outcomes this will be hell. A watched pot never boils etc. For now I'm kinda fat, but it's whatever. I'd rather be fat and strong than skinny and weak.

I just squatted 150 and deadlifted 180 and I don't feel like slowing down anytime soon. My coaches are happy and so am I.