Been a rough year +

For the past year + I have really struggled. I haven't had a decent night's sleep for 2.5 years now, thanks to hot flashes. A year ago I got giardia on a backpacking trip (real giardia, I was tested and had to give a report to dept of public health). The illness itself was pretty devastating and the week of antibiotics was no fun either. It took months before I felt anywhere close to normal again. Through all of this, I've just given myself permission to just go to the gym and do whatever I felt I could do. Go to the gym at least once a week, just do what I can do. As a result I've managed to maintain at least a level of strength where I don't feel embarrassed.

I'm just reporting in to say I'm still here. I lift weights, but I barely ever get any better at it. But I'm not dead. Giardia tried to kill me, but it didn't. Menopause is trying to kill me but it hasn't. My stressful job is trying to kill me too, but nope. I'm still alive and I can still squat my body weight, which is much higher than it used to be.

Have you investigated hormone replacement therapy? Why not?

Why did you post this? And why not just answer my question?

Sorry, my week has been hell at work. I posted this to obtain a measure of accountability to myself. Knowing that you know I'm struggling will help me keep going. That is all.

No HRT? A philosophical problem with it?

I'm not good at taking medicine. I never got the hang of taking BC pills. I'd always forget after a few days so I gave it up. As I got older I tried them again but they messed me up badly. I had to clean up what looked like murder scenes in the bathroom. I bled profusely for 45 days before the doctor gave me something to stop it. I never wanted to try any kind of hormone again. I've never been the type to take medicine anyway. I have a tiny little 80lb friend who said she powered through 6 years of menopause and made it through. If she can be that tough, so can I.

I didn't realize your new forum is all the former "upstairs" part and the "downstairs" part is gone. So I didn't know my post would require approval or was addressing you directly. Anyway, I'm glad you were provoked enough to respond as harshly as you did because your snappishness fueled my rage at the gym today, gave me fuel to push hard, and I did pretty good. So thank you.