I love the deads. And I hate them too. For me the biggest obstacle was the grip. And trying to do them with oly shoes.
When I finally tried with alternate grip and flat shoes it sort of felt right and I could concentrate on lifting the damn weight off the floor.
Also I have my heels close together now ( maybe 4"/10cm ) with the toes out maybe 30-40 degrees.
I know I'm still a newbie but I think with the deads a comfortable starting position helps a lot.