Found out today I am really, really wrong about everything. Bro lifter explain it all

[JustinTxDave]

First off, I am 57 years old, 6'5", have an arthritic knee, and weigh too much. I usually wear ear buds when working out, usually without music just to cut the inanity and discourage the 'chatty Cathies' at my gym. I have been lifting for forty years and assumed I knew what I was doing. After all I have worked out with top body builders, powerlifting world champs, and some world class coaches.

Just as I finished my last warm up set of squats, a ten pound dumb bell comes flying out of nowhere and thuds into the squat rack. Two bros -- skinny, no biceps but wearing tank tops -- come over to pick up their dumbbell. I joke, "If you toss yours at me, I get to toss mine at you" as I pat the barbell in the rack.

The bro with the bigger man bun (must designate rank somehow) made a minimal apology. Then he said, "You know squatting is dangerous?"

"That is why I do it," I said adding weight to the bar, hoping they would go away.

"It does nothing for your core and is bad for your ankles." He then goes a few feet away and proceeds to do a movement like a kettlebell swing with a pirouette at the end followed with a lunge that made me wonder if he had forgotten his anti seizure meds. No, he explained, this was the way to lose fat quickly. You do one rep, then two, then four, and so on until you can do any more.

I said, "You must have a high Fibonacci number."

"It is off the scale!" Evidently he learned this from some men's exercise magazine and decided to share more with me. "You have to eat a gram of protein per kilo of body weight three times a day, keep carbs below a hundred grams, and keep fats lower than carbs." He had no idea how may calories where in a protein, carb, or fat but made sure he added two Muscle Milk plus-pro-ultra-mega drinks between meals to help keep him pumped. Also I should only drink distilled water during workouts for ion preservation. Or bottle water with organic BCAAs from South America. I should wear lifting gloves, no shoes or those plastic shoes with little toe boxes for each toe, and never strain to lift a weight. Everything I was doing WAS wrong.

He had to do another set so I did my five squats. Seems that going past one quarter depth is bad for the knees and elbows! And deeper I and I risked rupturing my hips! My new acquaintance filled me in to that fact and that the wild swinging chins the crossfitters do are all you need to have a great back and the farmers walk really build hamstrings.

I did my second set of squats and decided I had enough time in the rack for the day. I moved to the bench presses and was told that lying on my back to press was bad for my internal organs and food digestion. By now I had dug out my iPhone and was blasting music into my ear buds to drown him out. I finished my workout but the kid, appeared to be about 18 years of age, never shut up. I went to the locker room and another long time gym member asked what fresh hell I had unleashed as we could hear head bro extol the virtues of high rps triceps extensions between clangs of slamming plates from the gym floor.

All I can hope for is the bro gets tendinitis, ennui, or a sock in the mouth before my next workout.

[Jeff Munn]

Good lord, that was difficult to read. Sorry you had to experience that unsolicited barrage of bro science. I’ve been paying extra lately to go to a small warehouse gym with very few people. Best decision I ever made.

[blues]

Maybe just wear a shirt that says "That which doesn't kill us makes us stronger"...."Not interested in your opinions. Thank you."

[Cheesepuff]

I think the title should be: "Why I'm so happy with my home gym".

[blues]

I think the title should be: "Why I'm so happy with my home gym".

Amen.

[Oldster]

I think the title should be: "Why I'm so happy with my home gym".

Yep. Almost 30 years of a home gym rat here. Tx Dave's story reminds me of one, and I've only lifted in commercial gyms three times in three decades.

I was in Spokane at a gym while visiting the city for a week. I went in alone and there were only two other people there, a young woman working and a young man in his early 20s. I was doing close grip benches (surprise!) and began warming up. The young man comes over and decides to help a nice old man out. First while I was warming up with the bar he explained at benches were bad for lifters, especially bad for old lifters like me who were just learning. Learning? I was lifting when he was crapping yellow in his diaper.

After tossing a plate on, for 135lbs, he was sure I needed a spot, all the while telling me I was taking too big of jumps. Of course I was a kindly and accepting old fella and just smiled and nodded. After ten or fifteen reps with him hovering, sure he was going to save my life, he got even closer when I threw another plate on. Of course, he was sure I needed more warmups for a one-rep max. I shooed him away from giving me a liftoff and took the bar myself. He was ready to pull it off my chest and was leaning over me for the first rep. After the tenth he finally backed away, realizing I didn't need a spot. I racked the bar at twenty, considering doing twenty-five, but didn't want the bar speed to slow.

I went on to my working sets, 315 for 3 sets of 10 and he was nice enough not to bother me anymore. After finishing my workout (and thanking him) I walked past the young lady at the front desk who was doing all she could to not die laughing, and tipped my hat with a smile.

[gnk]

I am still laughing at "That is why I do it." A reply like that shuts down conversation with most of humanity, but the gymbro is another creature altogether....

[FrankSanders]

Like Oldster, I have my home gym and almost never train in a commercial gym. When business and travel take me away for longer than 3 or 4 days I just count it as a deload week. Being an old guy and only training 2x a week makes it much easier to work in the travel and keep the training on track.

During a meet prep period a few years ago I was in Columbus OH for a week and didn't want to get off cycle, so I trained mid-week at the downtown YMCA. Actually a good gym with a fair amount of barbell equipment. I was doing my 3 sets of five for bench and having a very tough time keeping the 45 yo gym bro from giving me the 2 finger assist on getting the bar up in the first set. He finally figured I could handle the weight and stood off for sets 2 & 3. But after I finished he gave me a very stern lecture that a gentleman of my age had no business holding my breath and bearing down hard during the entire rep. If I didn't learn how to breath during a rep I would rupture a blood vessel in my head and end up a vegetable. I winked at him and told him I was in an long-time unhappy marriage and hoping for that every time I benched. I don't think he ever figured out he was being spoofed.

[MBasic]

You should have thrown the dumbbell back at him.

I would have.

[Jeff Illingworth]

Some people would probably benefit from a therapeutic beating.