OK, I lol'ed at the title combined with the first part of your first sentence. Just so's you know.
Two responses, one serious and one, well, kinda-sorta serious.
BFS (BiggerFasterStronger) has been fighting this battle in high schools, on the behalf of coaches like you, for about 30 years now.
http://www.biggerfasterstronger.com/...nification.pdf Their argument is that the same core lifts (squat, bench, power clean, hex-bar deadlift) should be a part of the HS athlete's training year-round, regardless of sport they participate in, with auxiliary lifts chosen to complement the sport choice.
Do the "best and brightest" coming up from HS to college
typically aspire to jobs involving coaching HS kids at sports? Or do they tend to get technical degrees or financial/business degrees and "follow the money?"