Convincing Spouses to Strength Train

[jtnolen91]

I’ve tried for years to get my wife to consistently lift weights, only for her to commit for a while and then quit over some small excuse. I’ve repeatedly told her the benefits of consistent strength training versus being weak and unhealthy, with what seems to be unsuccessful results. Has anyone experienced this? And have you had any approaches that actually worked?

[Mark Rippetoe]

We have talked about this for years. Look it up. If you insist on trying to do this, save the time and just file for divorce now.

[dalan]

I hate swimming. I'm terrible at it, it sucks and I have no desire to get better at it. No amount of reasoning will ever convince me that I should start swimming for exercise. It won't happen.

Not everyone wants to lift weights either. Leave her alone.

[Mike Kelly]

We have talked about this for years. Look it up. If you insist on trying to do this, save the time and just file for divorce now.

The best long term way to train your spouse:

1. Get a divorce.
2. Train your "spouse" up to intermediate/post-novice.
3. Remarry your spouse or a woman who is already intermediate/post-novice.

[jtnolen91]

I needed to hear that, good reality check. Thank you all. It just eats me up so much, it’s hard to block it out.

[That_guy_Over_there]

we workout together and it works great.

[Marc Brainich]

Prospectively, maybe apply Rod Stewart’s advice to the female barbell situation - “Instead of getting married again, I’m going to find a woman I don’t like and buy her a house.”

[mikemckone]

I'm 65 and have been lifting for about 10 years after being a serious runner for 40+ years. It was only in the last year that my 68 year old wife finally decided she wanted to begin weight training. I had encouraged her for years, but it seemed to have no effect. I'm not sure why she suddenly decided to train. Perhaps it was my telling her that you don't want to be 95 and need assistance to get off the toilet. Or maybe it was telling her how important grip strength is in preventing a fall down the stairs. In other words, I have no freaking idea why she suddenly decided to weight train. She asked me to coach her and we recently had our 105th training session since Thanksgiving 2024. (a broken rib, bad cold, piriformis strain were the reason for a couple breaks in training during the year.). She has gone from a 45 pound deadlift to a 150 pound deadlift. She benches 60x5. Presses 45x 5 and does goblet squats with a 35 pound weight. She is so proud of muscles (particularly her quads) that she never had before. She still hates going to the gym but she does it. I tell her that in order to be a serious trainee, you need to workout when you don't want to. In other words, I repeat every mantra, every bit of common sense, every bit of information that I've learned from Starting Strength and reading all of Rip's books and listening to over 100 podcasts. Don't give up on your spouse. Continue setting an example and maybe, just maybe, he or she will be inspired.