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Thread: Joined a new gym last night. Hilarious

  1. #111
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    May 2008
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    I don't mind the silly crap other folks do in the gym as long as it doesn't interfere with what I'm doing.

    Local college gym has the smith machine directly behind the squat rack. I was doing good mornings when the girls basketball team invaded and camped out around the smith machine. Four of them sat on a bench about six feet from the rack. i wondered around aimlessly hoping they would move, but they didn't.

    When I backed out of the rack, my ass was just a couple feet from their faces. I stepped back with the weight and again hoped they'd move. They didn't. On the third rep I felt a fart building.

    It takes some damned intense concentration to keep everything tight and push against the belt without letting rip. I knew that at any second I'd be farting in some girls face. I finished the set with no fireworks.

    If it happened now, I'd just let it go....

  2. #112
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    Quote Originally Posted by jameson View Post
    So I just returned from a big box retailer of exercise equipment. I asked about a cheap set of Olympic plates and bar (I'm convinced that the CAP plates are the same as York, etc. and would quicly replace the bar), and he began trying to sell me on BowFlex. He told me how this contraption would give me an athletic look. I, who am 5'10", 220lbs, 18%bf, with a blocky build, apparently need to slim down a bit...look more like a Nautilus model I suppose. So anyway, he begins backpedaling, telling me in the simplest terms how to gain muscle and achieve what is apparently the physique I should be aspiring to. Whatever.

    My point here is that I had obviously forgotten how uneducated the masses are on exercise in general, and their, most likely, only source of information comes from people like I just encountered. Not only that, but it reminded me that I need to use simpler terms when discussing weight training to the general populace. I suppose that was at least a lesson learned.

    Just ranting...
    FWIW, the Bowflex makes a good hat and coat rack...

  3. #113
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    Nothing too original yet, EZ-bar bicep curls, in front of mirror on upside down bosu ball. But that's normal now, isn't it?

  4. #114
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    Nov 2009
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    Fayetteville, Arkansas
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    One of my good friends moved down to Austin, Texas a few months ago.

    Normally this would be a +1 to his coolness factor. Unfortunately, i'm convinced he has turned into the biggest tool i've ever known.

    -1 He immediately hired a "personal trainer" when he got down there.
    -1 When I informed him that I was lifting again and doing nothing but compound movements while drinking my GOMAD, his first question was "Yeah, but how much bodyfat have you gained?"
    -1 He constantly sends me texts while he's out drinking at the bar, no matter what time of the night it is. I've since learned to turn my phone to silent. Normally not a big deal, but he always tries to impress me with how much he drank the next day.
    -1 After each workout, he attempts to impress me by sending me his new numbers on his "lifts."
    -5 He once told me that he was squatting 315lbs for his max. I asked him what type of squats and he responded with "Hack squats. Why?"
    -5 I then asked him if he did real squats because those don't count. "He said, yeah, I do parallel squats when i'm not doing the hack squats. But, why wouldn't they count? They're still hard as hell!"
    -1 I tried to explain it to him and tell him that he wasn't doing real squats at all, but he didn't listen.
    -10 He sent me a text that said, "I'm doing overhead tricep extensions w/ 100lb dumbbells now. It is pretty funny because I always get a large group of people gathered around me cheering me on to see if I can do it, lol". Faggot.


    So, I think i'm just gonna stop talking to him. He makes me a sad panda.

    I sent him a text the other day after one of his ridiculous drinking ones and asked him if he also did fist pumps all night. He just said, "lol...what do you mean?"

    I think that's a yes.

  5. #115
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    Quote Originally Posted by JCavin View Post
    One of my good friends moved down to Austin, Texas a few months ago.

    Normally this would be a +1 to his coolness factor. Unfortunately, i'm convinced he has turned into the biggest tool i've ever known.

    -1 He immediately hired a "personal trainer" when he got down there.
    -1 When I informed him that I was lifting again and doing nothing but compound movements while drinking my GOMAD, his first question was "Yeah, but how much bodyfat have you gained?"
    -1 He constantly sends me texts while he's out drinking at the bar, no matter what time of the night it is. I've since learned to turn my phone to silent. Normally not a big deal, but he always tries to impress me with how much he drank the next day.
    -1 After each workout, he attempts to impress me by sending me his new numbers on his "lifts."
    -5 He once told me that he was squatting 315lbs for his max. I asked him what type of squats and he responded with "Hack squats. Why?"
    -5 I then asked him if he did real squats because those don't count. "He said, yeah, I do parallel squats when i'm not doing the hack squats. But, why wouldn't they count? They're still hard as hell!"
    -1 I tried to explain it to him and tell him that he wasn't doing real squats at all, but he didn't listen.
    -10 He sent me a text that said, "I'm doing overhead tricep extensions w/ 100lb dumbbells now. It is pretty funny because I always get a large group of people gathered around me cheering me on to see if I can do it, lol". Faggot.


    So, I think i'm just gonna stop talking to him. He makes me a sad panda.

    I sent him a text the other day after one of his ridiculous drinking ones and asked him if he also did fist pumps all night. He just said, "lol...what do you mean?"

    I think that's a yes.
    I call bullshit. Nobody get's that douched up when moving to Texas. He must have been MUCH worse before hand.

  6. #116
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    Aug 2009
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    Quote Originally Posted by quadancer View Post
    For the most part, I'm just amused or a bit flabbergasted at the noob antics we see, but I'm always in MY zone and focusing on MY lifts (or pains...).
    I'm allright as long as no one is invading MY zone. But that guy bumping your bar when you were benching is inexcusable. I would have had a few very LOUD words hurled before I even got up.
    There was a loud "what the fuck!" yelled out by me as I aborted my attempt, I had just started descending and did a 1/4 bench press to get it back onto the rack.

    I was angry, but more angry at the owner and the way the gym was laid out, because that was the real cause. He had been walking down the narrow "aisle" and someone was doing skullcrushers that he hadn't seen, as the weight came toward him, he stepped back 1/2 step and into my bar.

    Simply too crowded.

    I'd love to change gyms, and have a really great gym in town I was invited to (not that it is invitation only, but a guy who is a trainer there heard about my routine and said "we want guys like you at our gym, and we are the only gym in town set up for guys like you") but, then I need to find somewhere for my wife and kids to go...

    -andrew

  7. #117
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    Aug 2009
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sami View Post
    I call bullshit. Nobody get's that douched up when moving to Texas. He must have been MUCH worse before hand.
    he moved to Austin.

    nuff said

  8. #118
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    Quote Originally Posted by spangler View Post
    he moved to Austin.

    nuff said
    Meh, you're probably right about that.

  9. #119
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    Sep 2009
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    Quote Originally Posted by jameson View Post
    So I just returned from a big box retailer of exercise equipment. I asked about a cheap set of Olympic plates and bar (I'm convinced that the CAP plates are the same as York, etc. and would quicly replace the bar), and he began trying to sell me on BowFlex. He told me how this contraption would give me an athletic look. I, who am 5'10", 220lbs, 18%bf, with a blocky build, apparently need to slim down a bit...look more like a Nautilus model I suppose. So anyway, he begins backpedaling, telling me in the simplest terms how to gain muscle and achieve what is apparently the physique I should be aspiring to. Whatever.

    My point here is that I had obviously forgotten how uneducated the masses are on exercise in general, and their, most likely, only source of information comes from people like I just encountered. Not only that, but it reminded me that I need to use simpler terms when discussing weight training to the general populace. I suppose that was at least a lesson learned.

    Just ranting...
    I'd be interested to hear how you responded, whether you tried to explain anything to him about why Bowflex is dumb, etc. This sounds interesting.

    Quote Originally Posted by JCavin View Post
    One of my good friends moved down to Austin, Texas a few months ago.

    Normally this would be a +1 to his coolness factor. Unfortunately, i'm convinced he has turned into the biggest tool i've ever known.

    -1 He immediately hired a "personal trainer" when he got down there.
    -1 When I informed him that I was lifting again and doing nothing but compound movements while drinking my GOMAD, his first question was "Yeah, but how much bodyfat have you gained?"
    -1 He constantly sends me texts while he's out drinking at the bar, no matter what time of the night it is. I've since learned to turn my phone to silent. Normally not a big deal, but he always tries to impress me with how much he drank the next day.
    -1 After each workout, he attempts to impress me by sending me his new numbers on his "lifts."
    -5 He once told me that he was squatting 315lbs for his max. I asked him what type of squats and he responded with "Hack squats. Why?"
    -5 I then asked him if he did real squats because those don't count. "He said, yeah, I do parallel squats when i'm not doing the hack squats. But, why wouldn't they count? They're still hard as hell!"
    -1 I tried to explain it to him and tell him that he wasn't doing real squats at all, but he didn't listen.
    -10 He sent me a text that said, "I'm doing overhead tricep extensions w/ 100lb dumbbells now. It is pretty funny because I always get a large group of people gathered around me cheering me on to see if I can do it, lol". Faggot.


    So, I think i'm just gonna stop talking to him. He makes me a sad panda.

    I sent him a text the other day after one of his ridiculous drinking ones and asked him if he also did fist pumps all night. He just said, "lol...what do you mean?"

    I think that's a yes.
    I wonder if you went to train while he's working out, he'd be impressed by your superior lifts and consider a change of routine? Or you could just go and outlift him in whatever he's doing?

  10. #120
    Join Date
    Feb 2008
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    194

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    starting strength coach development program
    Jameson: isn't that scary, that these salesmen, who are supposed to know their equipment and it's usage, only know about as much as a housewife who watches commercials.
    Perhaps he has a Thighmaster in his closet too.

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