Question on Training the wife...

[wal]

Don’t Train Your Wife | Carl Raghavan.

Thanks, that article explains a lot. I have the tools outback, I have some basic understanding on training, but I am the trainer of last resort, there is nobody else, just me and I cannot do it.

I think Rip would make an exception to you wal. In fact you should try to tell your Wife she should be stronger right now.

You married Sub? Well one thing I have learned from marriage there are certain things I cannot "tell" my Mrs, in the early days yes, but as time moves on we both have become set in our ways. For the Mrs she was in a car accident about 15 years ago and injured her back, she has had various treatments, physio, drugs, cortisone injections, but none really worked, so she is just getting slower day by day, next port of call is a back surgeon and an MRI. Mark is right trying to get her to do any training has not been productive. There are too many emotions that get in way such as frustration on my part, so yes a trainer from outside can divorce himself from those emotions and probably push her to do something, however as I said she will never go to gym, she gave up on the physio because too much pain, she wants a quick fix.

[Mark Rippetoe]

There is no such thing as "a" back operation. There is only a "first" operation.

[wal]

There is no such thing as "a" back operation. There is only a "first" operation.

There is an operation that an orthopedic surgeon can do, one that specializes back injuries, but this is only for a consultation, he might send her back to the physio or recommend more cortisone, who knows?

[Mark Rippetoe]

What are you talking about, wal?

[Phill]

Every so often my wife asks me to "help me get stronger" or "I need to lose a few lbs, what should I do" and this normally results in a couple of weeks of enthusiasm, then some arguing, then back to the same old same old.

This time I said "sorry babe, I can't really help you" which had her shitty at me for a day or so.

Much less stressful.

[Maybach]

You can work out with your wife. You can lift with your wife. Hell, you can even write your wife a program. What you should not do is *coach* your wife. Telling your wife her back is not set or her squat isn't to depth workout after workout almost always, eventually, leads to hurt feelings. Something about the psychology of the coach/lifter relationship interacts negatively with the husband/wife relationship.

[Bluefan75]

I got my wife to start lifting, and we are going pretty well. But I also did two things: got her a bar she could handle, and, when we took one of usual weekends away, took her to an SS gym so she could a) see that I wasn't just pulling this stuff out of my ass, b) think of me simply channeling the coach, and c) get some of the misconceptions about lifting out of her head that have built up over the years. We don't live very close to a SS gym so we have to work with what we have.

It has worked to a decent degree. I keep things as positive as possible, and for the most part she is on top of the lifts. I'm more doing things like making sure she is centered on the squat. I also think a big part of it is she feels like there is less chance of an injury if I am there (we have a platform in our basement.)

But I am not sure I would recommend it for too many people. It seems to work for us, but YMMV.

[dmitry]

Running my wife through the NLP. Aside from a few spirited marital disputes about squat depth in the first few workouts, all is going well.

Mr Chungus wins "the most deceptive title of a post" award.

[dalan]

You can work out with your wife. You can lift with your wife. Hell, you can even write your wife a program. What you should not do is *coach* your wife. Telling your wife her back is not set or her squat isn't to depth workout after workout almost always, eventually, leads to hurt feelings. Something about the psychology of the coach/lifter relationship interacts negatively with the husband/wife relationship.

Exactly 100 % correct. It's ESPECIALLY true if the one being coached doesn't place a similar level of importance on training as the one doing the coaching, which is almost always the case in situations like this.

[Al Copersino]

Wife: How do these squats look?

Me: <reaches for phone>

Wife: What are you doing?

Me: Hi, Robertson’s? I’d like to order a how-do-these-squats-look floral arrangement. Yeah, roses would be fine.