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The Price of Control, the Cost of Discipline
by Emily Socolinsky
If I was happy, my eating problems were not a priority and neither was my body. If I was unhappy, my eating problems would surface, and I would fall to pieces. Did this mean constant around-the-clock checking in with myself? Absolutely. But this is how eating disorders manifest themselves. You want control over some part of your life, and you always have complete control of what you will and won't eat.
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Father of a gymnast here...
Emily's story really resonates with me. My daughter turns 8 tomorrow, and is obsessed with gymnastics. She's very talented and athletic. A year ago, she wanted to see how many sit-ups she could do. She got bored after 410! Anyway, enough bragging about my kid.
I'm hyper aware of this issue in women's sports like dance and gymnastics, and I know there are some really ignorant parents regarding prioritizing function over form, fitness, and nutrition. I'm glad I'm not one of them.
I also know how I would handle a coach telling my daughter that she "could stand to lose a few"....
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Thanks Emily. I loved your article. Thank you for the work you do at 5x3.
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Thank you Gwyn. It was a tough one to write. I am glad I finally did.
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Semper Fi, Emily! Glad to hear about your many successes from the program. You're a big inspiration to me, as my goal is I want to help people through strength coaching before, during and after their military enlistments and commissions. It has had a huge impact in my life, and I want to share that with others like you have.
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Emily,
Your article will inspire many and save many more I suspect. Thank you for it.
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That was a very personal, powerful article. Thanks for writing it Emily.
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Thank you so much for writing and sharing this article. My story is different in the details but the same at the core. After years of letting anorexia ruin my life, I finally feel whole and well, and starting strength has played a huge role in this transformation for me. Food has become my friend rather than my enemy, and this has permeated all aspects of my life. Before discovering lifting, I was eating and maintaining a healthy weight, but it was a struggle to live with the constant feelings of inadequacy and endless mental math dictating what I could or couldn't eat each day... I am now free from the numbers on the scale and in the kitchen, and both look and feel better than I ever thought possible. And the mental/emotional benefits I have experienced through training have been perhaps even more transformative than the physical ones. Though I have other career plans at the moment, I would love to share this lifestyle with other women someday as you are, helping people connect with their body in what it is meant to do and be rather than obsessing over ridiculous social expectations that lead to nothing but emptiness and self-hatred. Until then you are inspiration to me, thank you so much for being a voice here.
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This article almost made me cry.
I have never been a dancer but this resonated with me so very much. I grew up feeling less than. I didn't like how I looked, I wanted to be skinny, have a "thigh gap", have abs, be happy.
My happiness was so closely related to my body and how I thought it looked.
I gave birth to 4 healthy, beautiful, strong babies at home, naturally and I STILL thought my body was wrong.
I found Starting Strength through the CrossFit gym I was a part of and, at first, was bored by it BUT I stuck with the program. 2+ years later I teach it and use it. I LOVE being strong.
Your story was like mine in so many ways. Thank you for sharing.
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