Rules for Going to the ER: A Common-Sense Approach

[Mark Rippetoe]

47 tips to keep you away from my ER. – RadaJonesMD

[Sparky]

#42 had me curious as that thought had never crossed my mind, and then I scrolled and read #41. I was rendered speechless.

Sparky

[Scaldrew]

Funny read.

But so no motorcycle? I was just starting to browse online...

[johnst_nhb]

Funny read.

But so no motorcycle? I was just starting to browse online...

I was an avid rider here in Seattle. After several rides to work where I noticed the following, I decided it was just a matter of time before my number was up.

- a man jacking off while driving
- women putting on makeup - very common
- countless texting - everyone
- several people with newspapers or books held against their steering wheel, reading.
- General dumbassery

I still miss my Victory 8-ball.

[Scaldrew]

I was an avid rider here in Seattle. After several rides to work where I noticed the following, I decided it was just a matter of time before my number was up.

- a man jacking off while driving
- women putting on makeup - very common
- countless texting - everyone
- several people with newspapers or books held against their steering wheel, reading.
- General dumbassery

I still miss my Victory 8-ball.

Yeah, even on my lowly bicycle I dread traffic. There's times and places I just don't visit anymore cos I don't wanna die. One time, just going to work (about a 25 min ride), I almost got in an accident 6 times in just 10 minutes. Cars not looking or giving a shit, other cyclists being idiots, pedestrians walking where they shouldn't. Traffic really is insane and I get why no one likes it.

[Jonathon Sullivan]

I don't know who wrote these, but she is My Sister. I can tell she and I have been in the same trenches.

Everybody should read these.

Oh, and this?

If you trust Jenny McCarthy more than you trust your pediatrician, you should take your kids to her when they’re sick.

This got me physically aroused. Absolutely goddam right.

[Sparky]

Haha so true, but Sully . . .#41.... cheeze and crackers man . . . . .

[Jonathon Sullivan]

Haha so true, but Sully . . .#41.... cheeze and crackers man . . . . .

For those who don't want to look again, here's rule #41:

Don’t keep shampoo bottles on the floor. They tend to get lodged in people’s rectums.

Just like it is amazing how many people get assaulted, beat, shot, stabbed and mutilated by Some Dude while Minding Their Own Business (see rule #13), it is just shocking how many innocent people slip, fall, and tragically get a shampoo bottle (or light bulb, or electric toothbrush, or mini hairspray can, or potato, or a fucking buddha figurine I-kid-you-not, or some other random oblong object covered with lubricant) accidentally impacted waaaay up in their rectum.

Happens all the time.

Don't let this happen to you. Look around you and you'll find your environment jammed with such hazards. You have to be careful, people.

[Barry Charles]

For those who don't want to look again, here's rule #41:

.

Dr S, having just spent the last four days of my life in the ER and neurological ICU (my wife had two brain surgeries for blocked ventricles - she’s as good as new), perhaps another rule?

“Waiting a long time in a crowded city ER is the best thing that can possibly happen. It means that you are not about die. It’s not like waiting for a table at Buffalo Wild Wings and someone gets seated before you.”

Anyway, please confirm, deny, rewrite, or ignore as appropriate.

[johnst_nhb]

For those who don't want to look again, here's rule #41:


Just like it is amazing how many people get assaulted, beat, shot, stabbed and mutilated by Some Dude while Minding Their Own Business (see rule #13), it is just shocking how many innocent people slip, fall, and tragically get a shampoo bottle (or light bulb, or electric toothbrush, or mini hairspray can, or potato, or a fucking buddha figurine I-kid-you-not, or some other random oblong object covered with lubricant) accidentally impacted waaaay up in their rectum.

Happens all the time.

Don't let this happen to you. Look around you and you'll find your environment jammed with such hazards. You have to be careful, people.

I fail to see the problem. This is how I know I’m going deep enough with my squat.

I think this queue was originally in the SS galley proof. Sadly omitted in the printed version.