Is this too hard? Mostly girl-related.

[Outstanding]

I don't know if this is too hard, or if I am just a wimp. I've been slowly working on a novic progression for five months. I'm 59 years old, female, have two hip replacements, a previous rotator cuff repair, a current "multiple partial tears" of the other rotator cuff, and SI instability. FWIW

Most of that is irrelevant to my question though. I just included it in case someone would ask.

Here's the question. I have been having the most success with the deadlift. Starting with 45 pounds in February, I have added a pound at a time, and now I am up to 150 pounds. For the past few workouts, I have done warm ups of 1x5x45; 1x5x65; 1x3x95; 1x3x115 and my work set is 1x5x150.
The last couple reps of my work set is really, really hard. Hard enough that I have to wear a pad or I will leak urine. I am worried that I might be pushing too hard if this happens, and I might cause a hernia. My form is fine, but that last rep is pretty slow because it is so hard.
A bruh at the gym says never lift so hard in training that you think it is extremely difficult and you are straining to do it, or you'll have a stroke. I'm sure he means well, but I am not worried about a stroke, I am more concerned about a musculoskeletal injury. I've never lifted this much weight before, so maybe this is what weight lifting feels like. After my last workout, I was very tired, and took a nap and extra sleep. There is no particular residual pain. Because of age, injuries and my slow recovery time, I am only doing DL twice a week, (M/F).
Am I doing this right?

[MBasic]

I don't know if this is too hard, or if I am just a wimp. I've been slowly working on a novic progression for five months. I'm 59 years old, female, have two hip replacements, a previous rotator cuff repair, a current "multiple partial tears" of the other rotator cuff, and SI instability. FWIW

Most of that is irrelevant to my question though. I just included it in case someone would ask.

Here's the question. I have been having the most success with the deadlift. Starting with 45 pounds in February, I have added a pound at a time, and now I am up to 150 pounds. For the past few workouts, I have done warm ups of 1x5x45; 1x5x65; 1x3x95; 1x3x115 and my work set is 1x5x150.
The last couple reps of my work set is really, really hard. Hard enough that I have to wear a pad or I will leak urine. I am worried that I might be pushing too hard if this happens, and I might cause a hernia.

I know some other (younger) women who have this issue. I don't think its a problem.
Hopefully, others will chime in.
And it's highly doubtful it will lead to a hernia.

My form is fine, but that last rep is pretty slow because it is so hard.

how do you know? do you video sets? Do you have a coach?

If your form is good, as you say, I would TOTALLY not worry about:

A bruh at the gym says never lift so hard in training that you think it is extremely difficult and you are straining to do it, or you'll have a stroke. I'm sure he means well, but I am not worried about a stroke, I am more concerned about a musculoskeletal injury. I've never lifted this much weight before, so maybe this is what weight lifting feels like. After my last workout, I was very tired, and took a nap and extra sleep. There is no particular residual pain. Because of age, injuries and my slow recovery time, I am only doing DL twice a week, (M/F).

Bruhs haven't probably never seen a older lady pushing it before, and have no idea what to say.

Am I doing this right?

Yes, I wouldn't stop.
Are your lifts still going up?
Its very important that you lift, especially at your age, especially being a woman.
__________________________________________________ _________

Video about the Valsalva, I believe the myth of "stroke thing" is covered here: The Valsalva Maneuver - YouTube

Thread (HERE) on the pee thing. start at post #72 or #73. There's some links to read/watch. Then maybe go back thru the whole thread from the beginning. (some non-sense there).

Maybe private message or email that Coach, Katherine Bickford, in the very last post , or add to that thread . . .get it going again.

[Cheesepuff]

I'm 63, been referred for knee replacement (I declined), and have had 3 rotator cuff tears (all right side). I also have quad tendinitis on my left knee (formerly the "good one") along with significant pain at time in the left hip.

Twice a week is a lot for Deads. That being said, I'm doing it that way because my Squats (the heart of this program) are in pathetic rehab. So I don't feel like I'm working out without that second set of Deads. Once my Squat is at about 80% of 5RM I'll Dead only once a week.

SHORT ANSWER
If you are doing your Deads twice a week heavy is too often IMO.

WORK AROUND
Make the first dead set of the week (the PR set LOL) a set of 3. Keep that second round a set of 5 at the same weight.
This cuts your rate of progress, but keeps your progress going more smoothly.
I've also heard Sully say that sets of three might be a better idea for women anyway. So keep doing what you are doing only with sets of 3 on your Dead work set. The principle has to do with differences in muscle recruitment.

I'm sure more knowledgeable folk here could give you better guidance.

ROTATOR CUFF
Shoulder Rehab | Mark Rippetoe
This is how Rip rehab-ed after surgery. I'm using this now, torn mine (again) on Saturday.

I use a 1" doll rod (aka 2 lb bar)
I do my sets of 10 (first you arc the bar up then press down as in video) starting with the bar.
I do 3 sets once I have full range of motion, and add one pound per set.
I'm doing 3 sets twice a day, and go up 5 lbs versus the prior start weight. (aka 2,3,4 7,8,9 12,13,14 19,20,21... ) The doll rod so far is strong enough to get me to the 45.

Once you get to say 50% of your press, I cut back on volume.

FWIW, that is what I'm doing now. Hope this helps.

[MashedTaters]

If you're on Facebook, search for and join the group "Bar Belles."

[Jeff Illingworth]

Urinating while lifting, especially deadlifts, is not that uncommon at weight. It's been discussed on the boards and there was even a survey going around from the coaches about it - I think it was started by Katherine Bickford out of Bay Strength. As far as causing a hernia, that's been discussed, too. Do you wear a belt?

Heavy deadlifts are pretty horrendous things that can make you feel like you're going to break, so that feeling might be normal and o.k. - however, without seeing your lifts and being sure of your form, we can't be sure you aren't doing something the wrong way. Post a form check or, better yet, get a session with one of the SSCs (where do you train?).

Pulling heavy deadlifts twice a week may be getting to be too much from a recovery standpoint and you might benefit from setting them up on a high/low or high/low/medium setting. You could do light pulls one day and a couple of heavy pulls on another or split them up more and work in some rows or another pulling variant, too.

[ChrisRozon]

Slight incontinence in women while lifting heavy isn't unusual, especially if you've had children by vaginal delivery. Read Leah Lutz's descriptions of the state of the platform at the last World's she just came back from, pretty gnarly.

Also, try warming up with lower reps - 5, then 3, then singles. You're trying to get used to motion, not wear yourself out

[autumnal]

Stress incontinence.

[Fiddler]

I'm 71, got no prostate and had a lot of other bits cut out during surgery (cancer had spread), and if I'm not careful, can be a little leaky once in a while when exerting myself. Two things help for me: Kegel exercises, and peeing thoroughly right before heavy exercise.

[carson]

You might do 95 x 2; 115 x 1; 130 x 1; and then 150 x 5 x 1. In other words, add a step between 115 and 150. Also lower the number of reps while getting there. Incontinence especially among women lifters at heavy weight is certainly not unusual.

[Outstanding]

Great advice all around. Thanks everybody.