Need advice on eating more, or what to do next TM stalled.

[ludwig23]

Hi Jordan,

It's me again. This time I think it's time to legitimately ask for your advice.

19 years old, 5'7", at the beginning of my LP till now:

BW: 139 lbs to 172 lbs => 33 lbs

Squat: 110 x 5 to 275x5, then I decide that I'm tired of eating a lot (2/3 of weight gain is actually at first 2 months of LP), and stuck at 275 for 3x5, so I switch to TM for squat n bench last month, currently 302 lbs x5 on Friday.

Gained good mass in lower body, but upper body and other lift generally suck. For sets of 5: Bench 154, press 110, DL err, 110 lbs behind my squat b/c I was reluctant to do them. Not any more.

I generally eat clean. Rice, meat, vegetable soup. Typical Asian stuff.

What now is that last week's Friday form breaks down quite a bit (slight dive bomb, knees cave in), and this week after I actually didn't complete a set of 5 (after fixing my form: squat slow, get tight, knees are fully out). Got 1 rep and another after some rest. Intensity bench fail, too, at 3 reps. Maybe I was too greedy, 5 lbs every week, maybe b/c my sleep, maybe I rest too long got cold, maybe technique, etc. but when I jumped on to scale I haven't gained any weight for nearly 2 months. Volume day is fine, weight @ 90% of Intensity.

The deal is that it's hard to eat more for these reasons:
a) I no longer drink milk b/c I got urgent need for purge lots of watery poop when consume a lot of these. Diarrhea. Maybe I will get them slowly in my stomach again as these are so easy to consume. Should I continue if I still poo watery poop?

b.1) I don't have an attitude to "eat big" anymore. I definitely got bigger after LP despite not gaining much on upper body, people see me in shirt they can tell that I lift, but they also see a belly, esp. when I sit down. I want to look like you Jordan, big AND lean (where I live, 6-pack = hot, lol). Common stuff for 19 y/o guy.

I'd like to just stay at this BW and start getting to look good, but I also love squatting a lot and would love to see my squat gone up. But then again what's the point of eating big and get fat if you're gonna cut down, why not just do it slowly from the beginning? At the beginning of LP I was lean, on good days I can see a 6-pack, but in shirt I looked small, so I was bent on eating to get big. It was easy b/c I have full buy-in to what I'm doing.

Fuck all that. Tell me what to do. Should I gain more weight? Or should I adjust my routine and focus on bench, press and get some hypertrophy stuff going? Both?

b.2) It's now tiring to eat, I really just have enough appetite to eat for maintenance. Should I get some cardio/conditioning to feel hungry?

c) Also I usually slept 5-6 hours at night and get a 3-4 hour afternoon. Is it bad? If yes how do I fix it? I feel generally fine.

Thank you.

[Jordan Feigenbaum]

Without really knowing you, my general advice for a not terribly underweight but understrong/under gainzZz'd guy who is 19 years old like you is to reset your weights so form is good. Do TM as written or on a split like I've talked about on my blog about it. Sleep 8 hours a night because you fucking can and don't binge on crap food because you're eating "big".

You'll have to eat more than you want to, but I tend to think that eating like a bodybuilder, minus all the stupid broscience, is a good mindset to have. You'll just have to titrate the amount of food up so that you're gaining weight.

Also, for the girls- if you're relying on your abs to get you laid you're not doing it right IMO. Think about it, you're hoping to that a chick notices you have abs and is so into abs she either doesn't care what you say to her or is only going to let you talk to her because you have them. I haven't met a lot of women like that- certainly not ones I want to expend any resources on (time, money, emotional investment). Just be yourself, be confident about who you are, and don't be the over invested one. Confident people with high self worth don't do that, abs or not and it's been my experience that they really don't care.

[ludwig23]

Fast food ain't cheap where I live (price for a sole chicken wing = nearly price a full meal). So I pretty much don't binge on crap food b/c it's expensive to do so, and gaining weight on healthy, clean food is HARD, man. IDK about anyone else or those BBs chowing down on broccoli rice and chicken breast but it's hard for me now, maybe it's in my mind. Do you have any advice on telling yourself to eat more when at the table? Abs can wait, I have decided I'm in for the ride, but putting the food in the mouth and chewing it down after I'm full takes good amount of commitment.

I will have my form checked out slowly to keep myself on track. Thank you for the advice (and the coaches that have given me free form check here, coach Steve, coach Michael, coach Tom C., coach Adam and coach Simma. Not sure if Simma is still a coach or active, but she was a very nice person).

About the girls: I have a wonderful lady already, so I'm not really seeking attention from the opposite sex, but sporting a 6-pack is undeniably cool here (not like women gonna drool over ya and forget all else, but it's a plus. Dudes will secretly admire your alpha-ness, which is a cool thing. I have people asking me for advice b/c I *seems* to lift a lot of weight by my place's standard, nevertheless, so getting big and strong works too, me guess).

[Brodie Butland]

Also, for the girls- if you're relying on your abs to get you laid you're not doing it right IMO. Think about it, you're hoping to that a chick notices you have abs and is so into abs she either doesn't care what you say to her or is only going to let you talk to her because you have them. I haven't met a lot of women like that- certainly not ones I want to expend any resources on (time, money, emotional investment). Just be yourself, be confident about who you are, and don't be the over invested one. Confident people with high self worth don't do that, abs or not and it's been my experience that they really don't care.

Yeah, razr abzZz are great for one-night stands where each person gives a fake name and they met at a bar. Not so great if you're looking for anything serious.

Plus they're overrated. God invented alcohol and light switches for a reason.

[Simon Rest]

Is Barbell Medicine expanding into romantic advice? "from bench to bedside" indeed!

[Jordan Feigenbaum]

Do you have any advice on telling yourself to eat more when at the table?.

Just keep eating until what you have planned to eat is gone. Nothing really more complex than that.

Is Barbell Medicine expanding into romantic advice? "from bench to bedside" indeed!

It's my back up plan if this medicine thing doesn't work out

[crookedfinger]

Fast food ain't cheap where I live (price for a sole chicken wing = nearly price a full meal). So I pretty much don't binge on crap food b/c it's expensive to do so, and gaining weight on healthy, clean food is HARD, man. IDK about anyone else or those BBs chowing down on broccoli rice and chicken breast but it's hard for me now, maybe it's in my mind. Do you have any advice on telling yourself to eat more when at the table? Abs can wait, I have decided I'm in for the ride, but putting the food in the mouth and chewing it down after I'm full takes good amount of commitment.

I am always entertained by the questions regarding eating more.

Start eating more calorically dense foods:

Ground Beef
Chicken Thighs
Pork Butt
Eggs
Potatoes
Peanut Butter/Nut Butters
Cheese
Beans
Rice
Oats
Pasta
Cook with Butter, Coconut Oil, Olive Oil

Put some butter, brown sugar, blue berries, dried fruits and nuts in your oats.

Make your protein shakes with oats, peanut butter and whole milk (or skim milk if you need to lower our fat macros for the day). Eat Ice Cream for dessert.

You can eat "healthy" and still eat big. It really isn't that hard. The key is eating foods that are higher in calories.

[Razik]

Also, for the girls- if you're relying on your abs to get you laid you're not doing it right IMO.

I was walking down my local pub-crawl strip yesterday in a pair of shorts that barely still fit me after adding 75 lbs to my squat in a month and half. A convertible with a bunch of energetic girls came up from behind me and unleashed a litany of catcalls complimenting my gluteal mass, my favourite one being "Prime grade, sir!" Of course, I felt terribly objectified- and I liked it, but I do wonder if a young man whose concerned about his body's appeal to the ladies shouldn't focus more on his posterior elements than obsessing over his stomach's bodyfat.

[Jordan Feigenbaum]

I was walking down my local pub-crawl strip yesterday in a pair of shorts that barely still fit me after adding 75 lbs to my squat in a month and half. A convertible with a bunch of energetic girls came up from behind me and unleashed a litany of catcalls complimenting my gluteal mass, my favourite one being "Prime grade, sir!" Of course, I felt terribly objectified- and I liked it, but I do wonder if a young man whose concerned about his body's appeal to the ladies shouldn't focus more on his posterior elements than obsessing over his stomach's bodyfat.

It's been my experience that women don't approach guys because of how they look and the ones that do, you don't want anyway.

[Bolson32]

It's been my experience that women don't approach guys because of how they look and the ones that do, you don't want anyway.

Bingo. However a good butt is up there on the list of things a lot of women find physically attractive.

Being good with women isn't about looks at all. Seriously, it's not that difficult because they look for things that men look for too. Be funny, confident, learned, polite, and not hideous. By that I mean you don't have to have abs, but there is a minimum acceptable physical appearance. Obesity is probably a negative but you don't need to be a fucking Hollister model to get laid.